This week in the Deep Hurting Project: Dylan Dog: Dead of Night. It's a (very) loose adaptation of a surreal comic called Dylan Dog. I haven't read the original, but everything tells me that it's certainly interesting. This movie adaptation, however, took everything that would have been interesting and obliterated it.
Next week (possibly on Saturday for Ravinia-related reasons), The Ripper. And not even Tom Savini can help make it tolerable.
- Gee. I wonder if that plate we're focusing on is going to lead to something.
- You know, it's one thing to have that "drop of blood leads to the discovery of a dead body that's right above us" tropes. But having it seep through the floor and onto the ceiling of the floor down seems ridiculous.
- So, your heart can keep on ticking, but just for show?
- So, fun fact, apparently Dylan Dog's partner is a Groucho Marx impersonator who "Became the mask." In this movie, because they couldn't get the Marx estate to sign off on using his likeness, they just created a blank slate of a sidekick named Marcus who just wants to be more than a gofer. Seriously, they couldn't even make someone who just happens to have a Groucho-like sense of humour,. And I can believe that Brandon Routh's Dylan Dog could potentially be an interesting character with a better script, and add to it a character like Groucho Marx (Hell, even early-period Hawkeye Pierce), and at the very least, you could get some decent repartee.
- It's out of character for someone to get murdered?
- Vampires selling their own blood as a high? Honestly, that sounds like an interesting idea. Vampirism works as a good allegory for drug addiction, and, frankly, making the victim consume vampire blood and not being consumed sounds like a more sustainable model for creating vampires.
- So, is there a reason Dylan kept Marcus in the dark about how much of his work involves the supernatural? And do they even know how much he's aware of them?
- And somehow, despite her giving a very werewolf-like description of her father's killer, she's surprised that Dylan concluded that a werewolf might be involved?
- So werewolves are the Mafia now?
- New Orleans is the only place creatures of the night can go? Why not any other city? Maybe New York, The City That Never Sleeps?
- Somehow, the fact that Marcus is missing an arm is the big hint that he's the undead. Presumably, that means the dude from Def Leppard will never die.
- True Bloods? Gee, if I didn't know better, I'd swear they were ripping off that show.
- Where the Hell am I? Looks like the video for "Fake Plastic Trees," right down to the guy in the shopping cart.
- Ghouls are people who drink vampire blood. Also, Republicans.
- You can tell by looking at someone exactly how long they've been immortal?
- Marcus was bad enough when he was mortal, but now he's basically Dane Cook in Simon Sez.
- He's eating worms and larva and drinking motor oil, but he draws the line at hot dogs?
- A pre-existing immortal being needs to be re-created?
- You know who'd make a better vessel for Belial? Maybe someone younger. Maybe a teenaged girl, but you somehow already ripped off True Blood, so maybe pre-emptively ripping off that one episode of Inside No. 9 was pushing it?
- How do they even get underground crypts in New Orleans?
- It's dying time? seriously?
Next week (possibly on Saturday for Ravinia-related reasons), The Ripper. And not even Tom Savini can help make it tolerable.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.