This week in the Deep Hurting Project: Arachnicide. It's an Italian movie dubbed into English about, well, exactly what you'd expect from the title.
- Okay, I expected a giant spider movie, but instead, we devote the first two minutes to a Sweded version of Gravity for some reason.
- Is that seriously the quality of ADR we're dealing with? I've seen a lot of Italian movies dubbed into English, but they usually get someone who's at least passable to voice the actors. Or did Italy just forget how to dub once the market for Spaghetti Westerns dried up?
- Um, why the fuck are we getting a lecture on the history of agriculture?
- So, apparently Monsanto's made The Food of the Gods?
- Is this like one of those North Korean Sitcoms where they just spout out propaganda and put on a laugh track after certain lines, even if the line in question isn't even funny?
- Every scene in this movie looks like a cut-scene from a second rate Call of Duty knockoff, but it's still live-action.
- Nice to know that they took until half of the movie before they actually set up the giant spiders we were promised.
- So, the Cartel's plan to take out the commando team is by getting them eaten by giant spiders? They couldn't just bomb them?
- They're only just now noticing that the spider webs are fucking massive? And that slugs made them?
- So the Monsanto calc made the spiders more truthful? Or are you trying to turn "voracious" into a noun and not settling on "Voraciousness?"
- So, that's literally all that needed to happen to kill these giant spiders? Wait for them to die of old age? Seriously?
- I can only assume that these are the military spiders that coccooned the Aqua Teens in the Mojave Desert for those few episodes.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.