I vote for talking with the spouse.
With relationships... I've noticed they kind of go in cycles. Sometimes I'm all about my husband and he's the greatest thing since sliced bread, both sexually and emotionally. And other times I'm like, this is the only person I get to have sex with for the rest of my life... or on an emotional level: this is the person that I can be most intimate with, emotionally, for the rest of my life. Both of these thoughts can be taken to a disappointed/depressing place.
But it always seems to cycle back to being happy with my decision to marry my husband and my commitment to our relationship. We've been married for 8 years, together for 12.
I've had crushes/attractions throughout our relationship. Maybe not so much in the beginning, but definitely before we were married, both during good times and bad. I've been turned on by guys, and had I been single, would have tapped that or wanted to pursue a relationship. And not in a mean or condescending way, I've discussed these crushes/attractions with my husband. It helps me figure out what I find exciting and attractive about the other person, and what I don't feel like I'm getting from our relationship at the time. Now, my husband is a relatively non-complex, emotional creature, and females tend to be a wee bit more touchy (avoid any convos like this one the week before her period starts, that would lead you to ruin if your wife PMSs at all, I know I would not handle a convo like this one very well when I'm PMSing), I totally would not recommend leading with, "Hey, Honey, I met this woman and boy, does she spark something for me." But if you start examining what it is you're so attracted to, and what hole that fills that your current relationship does not, perhaps addressing it in that way. "Honey, I've realized I'm missing the 'spark' (or whatever you decide it is, a deeper intellectual or sexual or compatibility) from our relationship, how can we get that back?" Then if explanation is needed, opening up about finding yourself attracted to someone else and how it led to this introspection.
Remember, cheating isn't about the sex. It's about filling some need that is not being met by one's current relationship. People who are happy and satisfied in their relationships don't cheat. (I'm not talking about polygamous relationships here, I'm talking traditional monogamous ones.) I'd say you need to figure out what is missing from your marriage, ask for it, and go from there.
With relationships... I've noticed they kind of go in cycles. Sometimes I'm all about my husband and he's the greatest thing since sliced bread, both sexually and emotionally. And other times I'm like, this is the only person I get to have sex with for the rest of my life... or on an emotional level: this is the person that I can be most intimate with, emotionally, for the rest of my life. Both of these thoughts can be taken to a disappointed/depressing place.
But it always seems to cycle back to being happy with my decision to marry my husband and my commitment to our relationship. We've been married for 8 years, together for 12.
I've had crushes/attractions throughout our relationship. Maybe not so much in the beginning, but definitely before we were married, both during good times and bad. I've been turned on by guys, and had I been single, would have tapped that or wanted to pursue a relationship. And not in a mean or condescending way, I've discussed these crushes/attractions with my husband. It helps me figure out what I find exciting and attractive about the other person, and what I don't feel like I'm getting from our relationship at the time. Now, my husband is a relatively non-complex, emotional creature, and females tend to be a wee bit more touchy (avoid any convos like this one the week before her period starts, that would lead you to ruin if your wife PMSs at all, I know I would not handle a convo like this one very well when I'm PMSing), I totally would not recommend leading with, "Hey, Honey, I met this woman and boy, does she spark something for me." But if you start examining what it is you're so attracted to, and what hole that fills that your current relationship does not, perhaps addressing it in that way. "Honey, I've realized I'm missing the 'spark' (or whatever you decide it is, a deeper intellectual or sexual or compatibility) from our relationship, how can we get that back?" Then if explanation is needed, opening up about finding yourself attracted to someone else and how it led to this introspection.
Remember, cheating isn't about the sex. It's about filling some need that is not being met by one's current relationship. People who are happy and satisfied in their relationships don't cheat. (I'm not talking about polygamous relationships here, I'm talking traditional monogamous ones.) I'd say you need to figure out what is missing from your marriage, ask for it, and go from there.
