(February 23, 2016 at 1:17 pm)Crossless1 Wrote: Yeah, I'm not quite buying this idea that Drich's experience is the norm, at least in this country. My adopted French/Vietnamese cousin has never reported to me that she experienced special anguish at her "selfish" parents not adequately preparing her for the world, despite their being ill-equipped by racial/ethnic background to teach her all she may have wanted to know about her Vietnamese heritage. For that matter, my Korean wife and her Korean sister (not blood relatives but sisters through adoption) have never mentioned to me any sense of being deprived of their heritage or sense of belonging despite being raised in a white American home where the father was a secular Jew and the mother a practicing Protestant. In fact, my wife moves with ease between several different "communities" of people. I have a mixed race nephew (Korean/African-American) who doesn't suffer unduly; indeed, he seems to be one of the most popular kids in his class and has friends from a variety of backgrounds. The same is true of a niece from a previous marriage (white/African-American) who was similarly popular with her peers and at ease with both sides of her family. Then there's my gay cousin, his husband, and their adopted daughter. She's a bit young to give me an "informed opinion" on the matter, but I'll be sure to get back to you, Drich, if it turns out she would rather have been bounced around some foster homes or adopted by someone other than the only fathers she has ever known and who love her fiercely.
I'm sorry you had a rough go of it, Drich. But yours isn't the only experience that's relevant here. Just because you were surrounded by assholes doesn't mean everyone out there is an asshole.
Holy crap dude your not even comparing apples and oranges.
Nothing you listed or provided here outlines what it is I have described in pain staking detail. It's like you just globbed down absolutely Everything concerning your family and race and said see, no problem. Every one of your examples speaks of an assimilated/westernized asian mix. you wife is 100% korean and can move between cultures. But like it or not you take your little nephew to korea and I promise you he will be treated like a circus freak. They don't like when white people mix in, because it put a 'stain' on the whole house/Fathers honor. Black children put dishonor on the family name as a whole. Again, that is why I am saying you are not comparing apples and oranges. You are demonstrating how your particular family works how your community works. I am pointing to how the world works.
There are two halves to how a biracial child life works. you are only comparing one side. Which again is fine if say your nephew stays with in the confines of his family and current community. If however he is made to integrate and deall with both sides of his heritage his outlook would change would it not?
How could it not? you go from coolest guy in school to being hated.
If and when you are ready to look outside your little view of the world, know this subject has been extensivly studied. Here are 3 random points of reference that support a great deal of what i have already said.
Read the sections concerning psychotherapy with a biracial child. This outlines all the major concerns dealing with loss of identity and problems with social interactions with people of a given race.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2695719/
Next is a Harvard educational review of a book that outlines and address the missing racial identity. and is suggested as a "must read for people with biracial children"
http://hepg.org/her-home/issues/harvard-...hildren_15
This Next link outlines in detail what i have already said the role of the parent should be in helping a biracial child to develop properly:
http://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_...n-071.aspx
That's from the American Academy of Children and Adolescent Psychiatry. Again putting the onus of the child's development on the parents. It even specifically suggests a complete exploration of both racial componets to aid in and the development of the child's identity.
Again this is a legitimate problem many many biracial people face. Shame on you for trying to minimize it and play it off as if it were all in my head. Truthfully what do you have to gain from trying to silencing someone who is trying to bring attention to a real problem a very small minority of the people experience? Or did you not even do a simple google search before you open your big mouth?
Is it really so important for you to be right and feel secure/justified in the life you live that you can't take the time and seriously examine what the people in your own family feel on anything deeper than they typical surface check you may do? Again understand I am speaking directly about bi-racial children who do not look like the belong to one race or the other. Not people belonging to one race being adopted or have been assimilated into this culture. I am speaking of people out side of your race who marry people of a different race and culture. Marrying a 4th generation Asian is NOT the same as having a kid with one who is fresh of the boat.
