(October 31, 2017 at 5:25 pm)Whateverist Wrote:(October 31, 2017 at 2:51 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: I think if you have great love and care for the person, and if you align with them in every other way, you won't leave them over just the sex not being great. There's so much more to people than that, and so much more to a relationship and to love.
Couldn't agree more with all of that except the idea that you need to marry them. There are many, many wonderful people in the world, but you can only marry one of them. Of course marriage will be about more than sex but, unless you're intending to be a swinger, they will be the only person with whom you enjoy sex. Think about that a minute. Sex isn't the only or even the best thing in life, but it is a pretty darned good thing at the very least. They say that money and sex are the things married couples fight over the most. If your partner has two left feet in bed, can you be so sure it won't negatively affect the marriage? So why not make sure that person is at least adequate for your needs before you sign that contract? It is more fair to both of you really.
Well, because like I said: if I love someone and care for them very much, and we align in every other way, I'm not going to have sex with them as some sort of "test" and then ditch them if it isn't up to my standards. I mean, doing that sounds pretty shitty to be honest. Especially because performance in the bedroom is an area that can be improved on with time if there is open communication, commitment, and a desire to please the other person.
Besides, I don't see sex as being a purely physical thing, independent from the person you have it with. I feel like the emotional connection and affection you have for the other person are an important part of what would make the sex enjoyable.
Quote:(October 31, 2017 at 2:51 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: But with that being said, I can't imagine sex being bad if it's someone you love a lot and have a strong attraction for. If you both care about each other, you should have open communication about sex, about what feels good, what doesn't, and you can work together at being better for each other.
If you enjoy their conversational style and you enjoy dancing with them, admittedly, the chances are very good you will also hit it off in the bedroom. I also agree that if you are open with each other and both are motivated to make it work, your chances are good. But do watch for certain tell tale signs of trouble ahead. For example, if they never audibly fart in your presence, how certain can you be that they aren't holding back other things as well?
No farting in relationships. Farts are ew.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
-walsh
