Hi Dragonfly,
I'm sorry you are experiencing so much suffering. As I mentioned in your intro post, I also decoverted as an adult, around age 33. I'm 43 now, so hopefully I can help give you a little perspective.
Fear of Hell - I never suffered this even as a Christian, perhaps because the Catholic order run church (Franciscan) I attended never put any emphasis on it. All the same, I think the advice I'll supply further down might help you with this.
Existential angst/crisis - I completely understand our feelings on this. I have gone through almost exactly what you describe. My suggestion here is to look into Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (it's for people with BPD or drug addiction, which I don't have) but that's irrelevant. IF the full therapy is too much to handle, I suggest looking into the part called Radical Acceptance. It has helped me immensely, and I think it would be helpful for anyone struggling to accept or unhappy with their own reality.
Fear of dying - Yep, I have this too. I think most atheists do fear dying, the process, the suffering part, but don't fear death afterwards, because they can't experience suffering once they cease to exist. I do fear that nothingness also, the ceasing to exist, and when I feel pangs of that fear, it is radical acceptance that I turn to.
I may get shit on here for going into this, but if what you are seeking is a community that will support your emotional needs but not feed you woo, look into Secular Taoism, or even Buddhism. There are likely temples in your area. These can vary, some may include quite a bit of "woo", while many temples in the western world really are just ritualized meditation and life philosophy. Try and find someplace without much of the woo, or just filter it out yourself.
If you would like to try before you buy, so to speak, or don't want to go in person right away, check out this online Taoist temple.
Best of luck to you on this difficult journey. You can do it!
I'm sorry you are experiencing so much suffering. As I mentioned in your intro post, I also decoverted as an adult, around age 33. I'm 43 now, so hopefully I can help give you a little perspective.
Fear of Hell - I never suffered this even as a Christian, perhaps because the Catholic order run church (Franciscan) I attended never put any emphasis on it. All the same, I think the advice I'll supply further down might help you with this.
Existential angst/crisis - I completely understand our feelings on this. I have gone through almost exactly what you describe. My suggestion here is to look into Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (it's for people with BPD or drug addiction, which I don't have) but that's irrelevant. IF the full therapy is too much to handle, I suggest looking into the part called Radical Acceptance. It has helped me immensely, and I think it would be helpful for anyone struggling to accept or unhappy with their own reality.
Fear of dying - Yep, I have this too. I think most atheists do fear dying, the process, the suffering part, but don't fear death afterwards, because they can't experience suffering once they cease to exist. I do fear that nothingness also, the ceasing to exist, and when I feel pangs of that fear, it is radical acceptance that I turn to.
I may get shit on here for going into this, but if what you are seeking is a community that will support your emotional needs but not feed you woo, look into Secular Taoism, or even Buddhism. There are likely temples in your area. These can vary, some may include quite a bit of "woo", while many temples in the western world really are just ritualized meditation and life philosophy. Try and find someplace without much of the woo, or just filter it out yourself.
If you would like to try before you buy, so to speak, or don't want to go in person right away, check out this online Taoist temple.
Best of luck to you on this difficult journey. You can do it!
“Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where's it going to end?”
― Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
― Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
