Am I the only one who feels this way

[robvalue]

I cannot take God anymore..feel like I'm walking on eggshells and I feel like I'm dealing with a judgmental and abusive entIty all the time.  I feel really isolated and I can't tell anyone what's going on...

I’ve never been religious, but I do totally understand how you feel. I have another issue which isolates me, and which I can’t talk to hardly anyone about, ever.

Sadly, the way you’re feeling is one of the ways religion is meant to work. If you get someone to live in fear, to always think they’re not good enough, then you keep them coming back for the "cure" and "salvation".

I was lucky enough never to be indoctrinated into any religion, and from my point of view, they are all false. If there was an entity that created this reality, there’s no evidence that it is judging anyone, or in fact paying any attention to what’s happening here at all. Statistically, we would be of no consequence to it if you consider the massive scale of our reality. It’s the egocentrism of humans that has made us think we must be the primary motivation for the creation of our whole reality.

I’ve talked to a lot of people who are suffering in similar ways to you, and there’s various things that sometimes help. Maybe you can find the right one for you. Coming here and talking is a great first step. I encourage people to have a good shout at god, as silly as that may sound. Tell him you’re not going to put up with this anymore, that you are your own person, yell some abuse, and dare him to strike you down or throw down a mighty fireball. The complete lack of response that you receive has helped some people, as it is a step towards taking power back, and reinforcing how everything you "know" about god, including its existence, is based on stories. Put him to the test, and he'll fail every time.

I wish you the best and I encourage you to keep talking on here. I’m very sorry you can’t talk to those around you, like I said, I know how frustrating that is.