Can too much respect be bad?

[tackattack]

I think the automatic respect given to soldiers in the U.S. is troublesome. People and soldiers should be judged on their merit. While I agree that some of the best people who've given the most to others wore a uniform, I think the vast majority of soldiers are just normal people. Some of them are actually big, fat shitheads.

People should be judged on their merit. Soldier who volunteered to sacrifice risk life to support your personal freedoms voluntarily is a basic form of respect. Just as soldiers are afforded respect who were drafted and forced into a war to fight for freedom. I have no issue affording soldiers some basic level of respect, just as I have no problem getting up on a subway for the elderly, pregnant women. I think the problem lies when we afford respect to soldiers who were "just in it for a job" or benefits. I think intent and causality play a part, but that's hard to read on the surface of people. Why is this problematic? If their actions speak to them being a shithead, that should, be weighted against their default respect value. We can't lump all people into groups even thought that's how our brains work. I think the bigger problem is condemning a system based on outliers.

Respect is earned.


Believing in some invisible nefarious sky daddy (or even pretending to believe in one) really doesn't merit respect.


It baffles me that some people think it does.

I actually agree, completely

I may be a little looser with my decorum with my co worker than my boss. But there's not a joke I wouldn't tell to my coworker that I haven't told to my boss. There's not a status update or incident I've spoken with co workers about hat I haven't spoken to my boss about, even when the topic is my boss.

I think I tie respect to respecting another person's time. I respect my boss more than some people so I'm more frugal with his time and keep away from the frivolity I can be prone to. I don't consider that being less honest, just being a better steward of our time because of the respect. Same applies to other people in other areas of my life I respect. What do you correlate respect with?

So, are there jokes you know that you wouldn't tell your coworker? Maybe the issue isn't that you withhold from your boss, but rather than you withhold from everyone. Unless you're sitting there at your computer trying to convince me that you are 100% yourself and 100% honest and direct with everyone you come into contact with, regardless of context, power dynamic, social pressures, and everything else.... in that case, you're certainly one unique human being. They should study you in a lab somewhere.

So, like I said, it sounds good, I just don't buy it.

As I said before, respect is, to me, observing someone's personal boundaries, honesty, and having a sense of admiration for that person. Granted, I think respect can, like almost anything else, exist on a spectrum. I would not say I respect my boss, so much as I understand the power dynamic between us. The reason I say this is I don't necessarily have any sense of admiration for my boss, nor am I necessarily honest with them all of the time. Nor do I feel I should be honest with them all of the time. Sometimes, honesty will hurt you more than it will help you; that's a simple fact of life. One that's unfortunate, in some ways, but true nonetheless.

I would say that I respect my bosses personal boundaries, in the same way I respect anyone else's personal  boundaries. I'm not going to shove someone out of my way at a supermarket, I'm simply going to say, "Excuse me," and walk around them.

I do withhold from everyone a bit. Mainly because I feel most people can't have real discussion in person much anymore. I'm not trying to convince you of anything. I try and be myself 100% of the time and try and be 100% honest and direct. It's called a filter. There's a time for speaking the truth, I just feel there's few instances where a lie is better. Honesty can, unfortunately, hurt your sometimes. My wife doesn't ask me how she looks in an outfit anymore unless she wants a real answer. I didn't used to be as honest as I am now, but I don't think I've changed terribly from when I first started here. That would be a question someone else would have to answer for me. Maybe, @Tiberius has an opinion on it?