Open to explore possibility

[Brian37]

One thing that is still a bit scary to me as a fairy new atheist, is accepting "I don't know" and leaving myself open to new arguments, new evidence, etc. I think as a Christian, I was lazy about my religion and took a lot of things for granted. I didn't push or dig, or experiment, I just believed because that was what I was told was true. I mean, I had my own experiences and I studied the scriptures and doctrine, but lazy in the sense that I never questioned or followed my doubts. I never fully researched or tested a belief in a God.

So, for about 30 years of my life, I've been operating on this system of accepting "this is the truth about the world and existence" and moving on with my day. In some ways, I'm still trying to get there, to find something solid to accept so that I can move on with my day and not think about it. But that's not the way I want to live. I don't want to feel secure in something and ever get the rug swept out from under me ever again, simply because I was ignorant or wasn't paying close enough attention.

However, even though this is still something I've only explored for about 4 or 5 months, I do find myself occasionally consumed by the pursuit of arguments and questions. Probably 80% of my waking hours are involved with thoughts about the weight of reality and the flaws in Biblical morality, the nature of God(exploring a "if it were true" thought process), the flaws in the history or literal aspects of the Bible, etc. I can feel myself trying to hammer it all down to make sure the world makes definitive sense.

Have you guys also struggled with "I don't know"? Was it ever scary or painful to reach that place? I recognize it's still new for me and the likelihood that healing from religious trauma will eventually happen.

"I don't know" does not have to involve clinging to old claims. There is lots about the universe and life science is still exploring, for sure. But considering the age of the planet, and the size of the universe, and the fact our species has only been around in our current form 200,000 years of which organized human language in writing is only about 10,000 years old, it makes much more sense to me that humans simply made bad guesses about the nature of reality back then, and simply projected human qualities on the world around them in super natural form. And that isn't just the God of Abraham mythologies. But even in polytheism, the earliest deity/god/spirit claims were earth, like volcanos or animal spirits.

But yea, early on when I first started questioning, I was scared of being wrong, and afraid to debate theists or challenge them, back in the late 80s. I slowly went from Catholic, to "not sure" to "atheist" over a decade, and didn't seek other atheists online until the early 2000s. 

But don't fear debate, and don't just debate Christians, but every religion, including Buddhists, Jews, Hindus, whatever.

If you have any doubts about theists claims and feel stumped, don't take their word for it. If you are not sure, bring their arguments here and there are very smart people here that are far more than willing to pick them apart. One word of advice though. If you are not sure of your "sea legs", my advice is to never do a one on one debate if they invite you. Like in a PM or e-mail. If their arguments are solid, they will be willing to debate you with witnesses, and not in hiding.