Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread

[Fireball]

When I was a young lad my family was Catholic. We had to go to confession after school every Wednesday. The priest would open up that little screen between me and him. I would say "Bless me Father for I have sinned" and recite my Inventory of sins and receive my quota of Hail Mary's . One week I honestly could not think of a single sin so I lied to the priest and said I stole my friends bike. I was issued a penance of mantras. I never said the Hail Mary's and I never confessed this lie to any priest. I win!

I wish that I had the opportunity to go to confession. I would make up some grand shit.

Nothing stopping you from standing in line and waiting your turn. I recommend the last day available for confession before xmas or Easter. That way you can get your penance ahead of time. Just look around the 'net for what you need to say at the appropriate times.   BTW, last time I saw this performed (ca 1991), there was no screen, just the priest and the confessing person sitting in a room together. Think you can keep a straight face in that situation?

Pro Tip- only the RCC has confession, and they invented it about 900 years into the faith. How lame is that? It's just like how Hell got invented- people just making shit up! How anyone can follow or even fall into Catholicism (or any other True Religion ™) is entirely beyond me.