Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread

[Rev. Rye]

After watching Turkey Tom's video about a YouTube cult leader named Leo Gura, he included this hilariously batshit post. Surprisingly, this one doesn't include his bizarre pantheistic/solipsistic/Hallucinogen-fueled bullshit, it focuses more on his time as a pickup artist.

told a girl at the bar that my friend and I have herpes and that since we are such generous guys, we would be happy to share it with her. That was my opener. She told me that I am unusually friendly for a Russian (she was part Russian too). I told her that she is gullible and that if I was a rapist I would take her to my rape van. I told her I am taking her to church to confess all her sins. She asked, which church. I said, the one that molests the most children. She was an attourney. I asked her if contracts make her wet. I told her I will have my attourney draft up some contracts for her. I told her to give me her fax number so I can fax her a black and white pixelated dick pic. She said she actually had a fax number. She gave me her biz card. She asked me what I do. I said I scrub toilets at Taco Bell and that I would scrub the shit out of her toilet. When I said that, I said it like I was talking about fucking her pussy out. She said, Perfect. I told her I am Asian from the waist down and that her ass was too much for me and that she needs a black dude for that ass. But that luckily I am actually black from the waist down. She said, Perfect. She asked for me to take her number. Finally she gave me permission to squeeze her giant tits in front of her friend.

I told another girl: "Damn, you have a nice body. I want to sell you into sexual slavery, like I did my mother." She giggled but that one blew me out. She still left laughing. It's hard to make that line hook because it's so purposefully outrageous. Still, I like to see how far I can push my verbals.