Difficult Marriage Situation

[FrankBunne]

I'm in a pretty difficult situation. A girl I will call Kate and I have known each other for two years. Her parents are really strict Catholics and will not let us see each other. They want her to marry a man I will call Harold, who is thirty three. Harold is the only unmarried Catholic in town aside from Kate. She and I are twenty-five.

I don't like getting involved, but I care more about Kate than anything in the world. We go on walks sometimes, but it's hard because her parents keep her under a lot of surveillance. Kate and Harold are the only unmarried Catholics in town, as I said, so Kate's parents are making them get married. They don't want me to marry her because I don't believe in God.

It wouldn't be my business otherwise, but whenever I go on walks with Kate she tells me that Harold hits her. She usually has a limp or something. I can't stop thinking about how to stop him from hurting her. The most I've ever touched Kate is holding her hand.

I don't really know anything about Catholicism, or why this would go on, but I want to talk to her parents, and ask them what they would prefer. I know they don't want Harold to hit their daughter, but they also don't want to let her be with somebody who doesn't follow their religion. I can't believe that it's more important to them that Kate has a Catholic husband who hits her rather than a non-Catholic husband who doesn't.

I know that I would be better for Kate than Harold, if only because I know it is always worse to hit another person than not to hit them, and Harold doesn't know that, or it doesn't bother him. But even more simply, Kate loves me, not Harold. I think the point of view from people who aren't involved would help me when I finally talk to her parents.

[Anomalocaris]

Her parents are really strict Catholics and will not let us see each other. They want her to marry a man I will call Harold, who is thirty three. Harold is the only unmarried Catholic in town aside from Kate. She and I are twenty-five.

Why is Kate, aged at least seven years past threshold of adulthood, not her own woman?

[Loading Please Wait]

Tell her to get a job and move as far away as possible from her parents with you.

She's not 12. You are both 25.

[Minimalist]

That's a good question, Chuck.

Another is that the scenario would make sense in 15th century Italy or France but not in the modern world. Why doesn't she call the cops if he hits her?

[Nine]

Calling the police seems a great plan to me..

[Matt231]

Her parents' opinions shouldn't matter, and they can't force her to marry someone. I guess the problem is that she feels obligated to do what her parents want, so even if the guy is abusing her, she will stay with him. I would definitely tell her parents about what "Harold" is doing to her. If they don't care, then call the police.

[R-e-n-n-a-t]

If she won't call the cops, find out from her whether she'll support you if you call the cops. There's no sense in calling if she'll deny it out of a feeling that she should protect her family or beliefs or something. But she's 25, so she really doesn't have to do what anyone says, so I don't get why she doesn't just refuse to marry him. If she absolutely has to have a Catholic, she can find less abusive ones outside of that town no doubt.

[Aegrus]

Perhaps she has emotional attachment issues? In that case, I recommend trying to get her to see a therapist.

[Drich]

I'm in a pretty difficult situation. A girl I will call Kate and I have known each other for two years. Her parents are really strict Catholics and will not let us see each other. They want her to marry a man I will call Harold, who is thirty three. Harold is the only unmarried Catholic in town aside from Kate. She and I are twenty-five.

I don't like getting involved, but I care more about Kate than anything in the world. We go on walks sometimes, but it's hard because her parents keep her under a lot of surveillance. Kate and Harold are the only unmarried Catholics in town, as I said, so Kate's parents are making them get married. They don't want me to marry her because I don't believe in God.

It wouldn't be my business otherwise, but whenever I go on walks with Kate she tells me that Harold hits her. She usually has a limp or something. I can't stop thinking about how to stop him from hurting her. The most I've ever touched Kate is holding her hand.

I don't really know anything about Catholicism, or why this would go on, but I want to talk to her parents, and ask them what they would prefer. I know they don't want Harold to hit their daughter, but they also don't want to let her be with somebody who doesn't follow their religion. I can't believe that it's more important to them that Kate has a Catholic husband who hits her rather than a non-Catholic husband who doesn't.

I know that I would be better for Kate than Harold, if only because I know it is always worse to hit another person than not to hit them, and Harold doesn't know that, or it doesn't bother him. But even more simply, Kate loves me, not Harold. I think the point of view from people who aren't involved would help me when I finally talk to her parents.

If Kate loves you more then it should be fairly easy for her to turn the other guy in for assault.

[Paul the Human]

This isn't real. This is someone performing an experiment. "Let's see what the atheists will say about this dilemma."

It isn't written like someone wiith a real life problem. It is written like a scenario. "What would you do?"