For anyone who's interested, here are 4 different 'mental states' and attitudes I've been through in my life.
I thought I might as well post it, in case anyone else is interested, perhaps because they may have had similar experiences?
It's mostly about self-awareness and reflection:
4 stages of my life (thus far):
First stage was most of my life and it was the "Unaware but having a lot of fun stage", 2nd stage was "Becoming more aware but feeling really frustrated and at times a bit depressed, lot of self-reflection and meditation. Lots of confusion." Read shitloads of 'Self Help' books, blah blah blah. 3rd was blending 1 and 2 so I can have fun but still be aware. 4th has been more recently, I've consistently been in this stage for the last 11 days, it's a big improvement, is very consistent and shows no signs of going because the reason it's staying is that there's no reason for it to go away (it's basically killing off my frustration....Pretty much altogether):
Rather than needing a reason to 'be happy' now I am happy by default and need a reason not to be (and I can't think of a good reason to be unhappy, worrying doesn't solve anything in and of itself) - and I also don't get "offended" by anything anyone says, nor do I take anything personally. I am also good at compartmentalizing my emotional and rational side so I can be attached and detached at the same time.
And finally I no longer blame anyone or seek vengeance - revenge is a very destructive emotion anyway - (I merely 'hold them responsible' (if they are)), I only believe in what's required for moral responsibility in this sense. Because I no longer believe in 'Free-Will' in the general sense. At most I believe in a kind of Pseudo-Free-will (which isn't exactly 'Free-Will' as many think of it - let's put it this way, it's compatible with determinism just as much as indeterminism). Anything else seems gratuitous anyway.
Anyone else had a similar experience? Or been through 'stages' like this?
EvF
I thought I might as well post it, in case anyone else is interested, perhaps because they may have had similar experiences?
It's mostly about self-awareness and reflection:
4 stages of my life (thus far):
First stage was most of my life and it was the "Unaware but having a lot of fun stage", 2nd stage was "Becoming more aware but feeling really frustrated and at times a bit depressed, lot of self-reflection and meditation. Lots of confusion." Read shitloads of 'Self Help' books, blah blah blah. 3rd was blending 1 and 2 so I can have fun but still be aware. 4th has been more recently, I've consistently been in this stage for the last 11 days, it's a big improvement, is very consistent and shows no signs of going because the reason it's staying is that there's no reason for it to go away (it's basically killing off my frustration....Pretty much altogether):
Rather than needing a reason to 'be happy' now I am happy by default and need a reason not to be (and I can't think of a good reason to be unhappy, worrying doesn't solve anything in and of itself) - and I also don't get "offended" by anything anyone says, nor do I take anything personally. I am also good at compartmentalizing my emotional and rational side so I can be attached and detached at the same time.
And finally I no longer blame anyone or seek vengeance - revenge is a very destructive emotion anyway - (I merely 'hold them responsible' (if they are)), I only believe in what's required for moral responsibility in this sense. Because I no longer believe in 'Free-Will' in the general sense. At most I believe in a kind of Pseudo-Free-will (which isn't exactly 'Free-Will' as many think of it - let's put it this way, it's compatible with determinism just as much as indeterminism). Anything else seems gratuitous anyway.
Anyone else had a similar experience? Or been through 'stages' like this?
EvF
