How to not be desperate for a gf?

[Aegrus]

'Nice guys finish last' and 'Girls love dickheads' are stupid clichés and usually a shit excuse used by passive men who lack confidence.

I'm definitely passive and lack confidence, so that seems to fit me quite well.

As for calling them "shit excuses". . . I still notice a great number of women lining up to be with dickheads, so I think there's a good deal of truth to those cliches.

[Annik]

I'm a woman. Plenty of us get with "nice guys", especially after those guys show a little confidence. My fiance: Nicest guy. Showed up oozing with cool, slept with him on the slut date. Yeah!

[Aegrus]

My biggest problem is probably the confidence bit. No one likes a door mat, after all. That's perfectly understandable. Why hang around someone who would rather not hang around themself? And I tend to be a door mat quite a lot.

[Annik]

Just be proud of who you are, talk about your passions, be smart, ect.

[ElDinero]

As for calling them "shit excuses". . . I still notice a great number of women lining up to be with dickheads, so I think there's a good deal of truth to those cliches.

I would say it's about the same ratio as decent guys going out with stupid girls. So while it does happen, it's confirmation bias at work to say that there's any real trend.

In the cases where it does happen, women are often dazzled by....wait for it...confidence! So if the decent guys stopped sitting around making excuses for themselves and actually put themselves out there, they'd probably have more action.

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

There's 'nice' as in 'sincere and honest' and there's 'nice' as in disingenuous to get laid.

In the 80's,dopey magazines called these douchebags S.N.A.G.S (Sensitive New Age Guys) Women usually called them 'wankers' or 'arseholes'. Women too stupid to tell the difference got well and truly fucked. Plus ca change plus c'est la meme chose.

[Epimethean]

The women's lib movement did a number on the average male's ability to feel good about being male. Not saying the movement didn't produce results (albeit even today, not complete enough) in the workplace, but in personal relationships, it confused the message into "be sensitive when I want, and be a beast when I want, and be willing to accept responsibility if anything you do in beast mode upsets me or leaves a mark on the furniture" and guys slowly gravitated to self-help rubbishery that gave them the inside scoop on how to get laid. Fact is, if you look decent, have a brain, and know yourself reasonably well, you can get laid whenever you want by attractive women. Sad thing is, too many focus on the getting laid part more than the relationships it creates.

[Gambit]

Right, I have no idea why, so I can't really offer any advice on what I'm about to share, except for the fact that I'm pretty confident in most aspects of who I am. I constantly get bombarded with phone calls and texts from my ex-girlfriends. They aren't even looking for action. It's usually for emotional support of one kind or another. Most women tell me I'm an arrogant, irritating, sarcastic cunt. Yet they still have my number on speed dial. Why? I'll be damned if I know. Like I said, the only thing I can think of is the fact that I'm confident in who I am, whatever that may be. I'm not one of those guys who throws on the charm; or at least I don't think I am. I tend to just say it like it is, no matter what it is, but with confidence. It could also be the fact that I tend to ignore women who are begging for attention; it seems to endear me to them. I've also noticed that women are more attracted to me now that I'm not on the menu.