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Death and atheism - something I've struggled with
March 5, 2013 at 5:42 am
Let me just say, I am no stranger to death. I've worked for a few years taking care of terminally ill, dying people. So this is not something entirely new but when it's someone I'm close to, I struggle.
It was so hard when my grandmother died. She and I were close. I'll never forget her voice. I came home early from college just to help with her hospice care and stay the night watching her. When she died, I wept bitterly at her funeral.
While my family is not really religious, I am one of the few atheists. I almost became jealous that they had the ability to believe in heaven, to have hope, to have comfort that they would see her again. I have none of that. I can never believe that no matter how hard I try. I missed her a lot. I still do.
I am not jealous anymore but I still think about how I used to feel that way, when her death was so recent.
I feel like being an atheist made her death MUCH harder for me because there is no hope of seeing her again or even having a feeling of "her soul" continuing on. But I can't really believe anything else... No matter how much I am hurting or wishing for it.
What are some ways that you cope and deal with the pain of losing a loved one, as atheists? Her death was relatively recent and I had never lost a close loved one until her.
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RE: Death and atheism - something I've struggled with
March 5, 2013 at 5:47 am
I take solace in that my loved ones live good, long and healthy lives. I will miss them like crazy when they're gone, but as long as I live and remember them, they will live on for a little while longer. I think the key is to remember to appreciate life when it is, because death comes to us all.
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura
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Re: Death and atheism - something I've struggled with
March 5, 2013 at 5:54 am
I do try to remember that and I believe that's important, yes. I don't have many family or friends so it is very, very painful to lose the close ones I do have.
It is very easy to take people for granted. It's even easier to do when you believe in a heaven and that you'll see them again someday in eternity. You won't.
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RE: Death and atheism - something I've struggled with
March 5, 2013 at 6:41 am
I find speaking to others about the person's life really helps. Remembering the good parts (and the not so good parts) of their life also helps.
I say remembering the not so good parts because, for me at least, Lionising someone makes for unrealistic memories of them.
I don't know if you do facebook but there is group there called Grief beyond belief which gives support to people who have lost someone in a space where false promises won't be made.
http://www.facebook.com/faithfreegriefsupport
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Re: Death and atheism - something I've struggled with
March 5, 2013 at 7:37 am
I had no idea such groups existed. This is amazing. Thank you.
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RE: Death and atheism - something I've struggled with
March 5, 2013 at 10:23 am
death is a part of life DrFreud.
NOTHING will console your grieving and I would recommend you contact such grief groups as many as possible to help with the process.
I am sorry for your loss, but I also know my words are meaningless to you.
I am looking forward to my own death, hoping it will be clean and dignified.
ONE GUARANTEE ... YOU WILL DIE.
I would like to live a life that the West Boro Baptists will picked my funeral!
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
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RE: Death and atheism - something I've struggled with
March 5, 2013 at 11:28 am
I guess I found comfort in reminding myself that I got to know some amazing people for the short time they were alive, and I can always cherish the memories of the great times we had.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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RE: Death and atheism - something I've struggled with
March 6, 2013 at 4:11 am
I find it plausible that there can be a universe without a creator (or at least without a christian god), and yet still there could be something beyond the death of our bodies. I figure it's like any other singularity. If there is something beyond this time we have, nothing is coming back to tell us about it. I also figure there is also no point in being scared about fade-to-black; since there isn't a damn thing we can do about it.
"Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree."
"The Bible: Because all the wonders of science can’t equal the wisdom of cattle sacrificing primitives who thought every animal species in the world lived within walking distance of Noah’s house."
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RE: Death and atheism - something I've struggled with
March 6, 2013 at 6:08 am
I do believe this is what religions are there and were made for, to give hope about the possibility of reuniting with our lost ones.. thats why the idea of afterlife was conceived, its centered on human's fear of death, the fear of not being able to live again.. no one wants to die but its the fact that everyone will die eventually.. the idea of heaven & resurrection made people think they can live forever.. a religious propaganda..
I lost some of my loved ones too, I know how it feels.. but I take solace based on hard evidence, the astronomical facts.. the fact that we are stardusts, ancient stars died spewing out elements which became the building blocks of our Sun, our planet, our human body, our everything..
after we died, we return to our elemental state, the carbon, nitrogen & oxygen which are the main ingredient of our body.. we will eventually become planetary nebula after our Sun dies, that nebula will complete the cycle, becoming the building blocks for another solar system..
so yes we will 'live' again, but not in our current form though 
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RE: Death and atheism - something I've struggled with
March 6, 2013 at 4:04 pm
It might be sad, but it is beautiful at the same time. Especially when they are old and the cycle of life continues. I mention on a couple of my other posts how fear of death was one of the final reasons I clung to the hope of there being some greater power.
Since then I've had 6 friends die between the ages of 14 and 28. That's in a span of 6 years, one friend a year....So I completely understand how you feel. The shitty part of atheism is realizing nobody is protecting you, we are on our own... But don't let that get you down, we're here for a short time so make the most of it. Your purpose is not to please some man in the sky but do what YOU want to do. That should be a liberating feeling.
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