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RE: Jesus is Here
March 23, 2013 at 4:47 pm
(March 23, 2013 at 12:02 pm)CleanShavenJesus Wrote: It must be agonizing to type. Your hands must be in severe pain!
That just brought to mind such a sick scene...
The resurrected Jesus shows up to the gathered apostles, and asks the doubting Thomas to check his wounds so as to be convinced that it's the risen Christ. In front of the rest of the gathering, Thomas takes him up on the offer.
Thomas: * poking fingers in the hole in Jesus' hand* Hah! That's so crazy...
Jesus: Whoa, dude, take it easy. That hurts, you know.
Thomas: * turns to the others* Check it out, guys! I'm fingering the hole!!!
Thomas: * collapses from laughter*
Apostles: * collapse from laughter*
Guests: * collapse from laughter*
Jesus: Fuck you guys, I'm going home!
"Well, evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world's data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts don't go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein's theory of gravitation replaced Newton's in this century, but apples didn't suspend themselves in midair, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape- like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin's proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered."
-Stephen Jay Gould
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RE: Jesus is Here
March 23, 2013 at 4:52 pm
Can you use the holes in your hands for wanking?
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RE: Jesus is Here
March 24, 2013 at 12:03 am
Welcome but...
(March 22, 2013 at 7:45 pm)JesusHChrist Wrote: BMI -- used to be around 25, but now due to a lust for bread, I'm on the fat side of thin or the thin side of fat, whichever is more appealing to wimmin. Hey baby, hey baby! Hurry up! I can only suck in this gut so long.
Hair -- bald, but quite sexy nonetheless. EWW YUCKIES!
For Religion & Health see:[/b][/size] Williams & Sternthal. (2007). Spirituality, religion and health: Evidence and research directions. Med. J. Aust., 186(10), S47-S50. -LINK
The WIN/Gallup End of Year Survey 2013 found the US was perceived to be the greatest threat to world peace by a huge margin, with 24% of respondents fearful of the US followed by: 8% for Pakistan, and 6% for China. This was followed by 5% each for: Afghanistan, Iran, Israel, North Korea. -LINK
"That's disgusting. There were clean athletes out there that have had their whole careers ruined by people like Lance Armstrong who just bended thoughts to fit their circumstances. He didn't look up cheating because he wanted to stop, he wanted to justify what he was doing and to keep that continuing on." - Nicole Cooke
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RE: Jesus is Here
March 24, 2013 at 10:10 am
Hi and welcome to AF! ^_^
Kudos for the Jesus and Mo avatar!
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura
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RE: Jesus is Here
March 24, 2013 at 11:40 am
Howdy!
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RE: Jesus is Here
March 24, 2013 at 11:48 am
 Enjoy the forums, jesus. 
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RE: Jesus is Here
March 24, 2013 at 12:17 pm
(March 23, 2013 at 4:39 pm)jrsm_10 Wrote: I won't forget this one.  My question is, does Jesus have a big penis, is it just above the vagina or near it, and when you are among us do you miss you (by you, not the first one but the second, I mean your other you, the father, which is really not your father, but you)? Thank you.
And welcome.
I think you should at least buy me dinner before I answer that sort of personal question! And couple glasses of Jesus wine...
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Re: Jesus is Here
March 24, 2013 at 12:28 pm
When will the holy spirit get here? Then the real fun begins.
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RE: Jesus is Here
March 24, 2013 at 3:41 pm
![[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQlYUSO9yOMQUptPqP6kik...DJWnE2Ml-g]](https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQlYUSO9yOMQUptPqP6kikY3c8WB-tEgrTFOLKgTngwDJWnE2Ml-g)
Here you go, the Holy Spirit. Now the party can commence! 
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura
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RE: Jesus is Here
April 9, 2013 at 8:07 pm
FINALLY! An official Jesus H. Christ here on the forums.
I've been saying for some time that we need one.
WELCOME sir!
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![[Image: Evolution.png]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=i1118.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fk619%2Fjcincain%2FPublic%2FEvolution.png)
