Hello, I am a 17 year old girl and an atheist. However, almost no one knows that I am and I am constantly struggling around my family to pretend that I am a Christian.
Here is the deal: I didn't grow up in a very religious family. We didn't attend a church regularly growing up, we went occosionally when friends or family invited us. We went to mainly christian and catholic churches but we never attended the same ones. My mom told us pray before we went to sleep, and tell God that we are thankful for the people and things we have in our lives. We didn't say grace, only at family gatherings or picnics if we were around more religious people. So my family does believe in God, they are just not very religious about it. I was allowed to read and watch Harry Potter, they were my favorite childhood books and movies.
Some of the first problems I had with Christianity occcured in middle school. My stepdad's mom (practically my grandmother) was going on a road trip with us and me and my sister had to ride in her car. For the trip, I brought all my Harry Potter books and was screamed at that I brought witchcraft books and they were full of evil spirits that would cloud my brain with nonsense. I didn't understand. My freshman year of highschool I became agnostic after learning things I didn't like about the bible and alot of view points of Christianity that I didn't agree with.
I always believed in evolution. I always believe in Gay and feminist rights. All my friends are also Christian. Two summers ago I was having a discussion and I wanted to see if maybe christianity was right for me. I asked them if I could still be a Christian but believe in gay marriage and evolution. They said no because I had to sacrafice some things to be let into Jesus's arms and into the CHristian faith. I began to realize why had I been telling myself a God exists. WHy does it have to exist? BEcause I was taught that there has to be one? Because theres no other ways for miracles to happen without God creating them? So I became Atheist after realizing God doesn't HAVE to exist. Why do we have to have this thought of heaven? So we are good people and don't fear about being sent to Hell? I heard people in the past tell me that the Devil makes people do bad things, or all good things happen because God sent a miracle. Why can't things happen because thats the way life is? If someone wakes up from a coma after 5 years, why does it have to be God's doing and that it was meant to be at that time because God had a plan?
I've had discussions with my Mom in the past in how my viewpoints are changing but she was very unaccepting and said I needed faith so I could have morals and values. I don't see how not believing in a God prevents me from having personal values within myself. God doesn't make me the person that I am. I don't know how to ever come out to my family. I pretend to be a Christian around them. But I feel like I'm living in a lie for the past 3 years since I really discovered what I believe in. I've lost many of my friends because I told them I don't believe in God. And I don't want to lose more of my family either. I've only met one atheist and he is my boyfriend. It seems I've been surrounded by religion my whole life.
If anyone has any good advice or would like to talk, please reply. I've never really talked to many people with the same viewpoints on religion so it would be interesting.
Here is the deal: I didn't grow up in a very religious family. We didn't attend a church regularly growing up, we went occosionally when friends or family invited us. We went to mainly christian and catholic churches but we never attended the same ones. My mom told us pray before we went to sleep, and tell God that we are thankful for the people and things we have in our lives. We didn't say grace, only at family gatherings or picnics if we were around more religious people. So my family does believe in God, they are just not very religious about it. I was allowed to read and watch Harry Potter, they were my favorite childhood books and movies.
Some of the first problems I had with Christianity occcured in middle school. My stepdad's mom (practically my grandmother) was going on a road trip with us and me and my sister had to ride in her car. For the trip, I brought all my Harry Potter books and was screamed at that I brought witchcraft books and they were full of evil spirits that would cloud my brain with nonsense. I didn't understand. My freshman year of highschool I became agnostic after learning things I didn't like about the bible and alot of view points of Christianity that I didn't agree with.
I always believed in evolution. I always believe in Gay and feminist rights. All my friends are also Christian. Two summers ago I was having a discussion and I wanted to see if maybe christianity was right for me. I asked them if I could still be a Christian but believe in gay marriage and evolution. They said no because I had to sacrafice some things to be let into Jesus's arms and into the CHristian faith. I began to realize why had I been telling myself a God exists. WHy does it have to exist? BEcause I was taught that there has to be one? Because theres no other ways for miracles to happen without God creating them? So I became Atheist after realizing God doesn't HAVE to exist. Why do we have to have this thought of heaven? So we are good people and don't fear about being sent to Hell? I heard people in the past tell me that the Devil makes people do bad things, or all good things happen because God sent a miracle. Why can't things happen because thats the way life is? If someone wakes up from a coma after 5 years, why does it have to be God's doing and that it was meant to be at that time because God had a plan?
I've had discussions with my Mom in the past in how my viewpoints are changing but she was very unaccepting and said I needed faith so I could have morals and values. I don't see how not believing in a God prevents me from having personal values within myself. God doesn't make me the person that I am. I don't know how to ever come out to my family. I pretend to be a Christian around them. But I feel like I'm living in a lie for the past 3 years since I really discovered what I believe in. I've lost many of my friends because I told them I don't believe in God. And I don't want to lose more of my family either. I've only met one atheist and he is my boyfriend. It seems I've been surrounded by religion my whole life.
If anyone has any good advice or would like to talk, please reply. I've never really talked to many people with the same viewpoints on religion so it would be interesting.
