My misogyny

[pineapplebunnybounce]

I don't get it. This seems to be all about your mum, getting her to stop meddling seems much more productive than trying to accommodate her by going to therapy. What has that got to do with women?

[pocaracas]

Ah, it's your mother....
Around here, we have a nice song for your husband to sing to her:

---

A minha sogra é um Boi
Mata-Ratos

Estávamos em casa sem nada para fazer
Fomos para a cama e começamos a foder
Tudo estava bem ate certo momento
Apareceu a minha sogra pior que um jumento

(Refrão)
A minha sogra é um boi (x3)
A minha sogra é um grande boi

Ela gritou alto "seus porcalhoes"
E sem cerimonias xutou-me os colhões
A puta da velha correu atra de mim
Com o rolo da massa
Este inferno não tem fim...

>>>> translates roughly to:

My mother in law is an ox
Coffin-nail

We were at home with nothing to do
We went to bed and started to fuck
Everything was fine until a certain point
My mother in law appeared worse than a donkey

(Chorus)
My mother in law is an ox (x3)
My mother in law is a big ox

She cried aloud "your messy eaters"
And without ceremonies kicked me in the balls
The old bitch went running after me
With the rolling pin
This hell has no end ...

---

Now, yes, you do have some trauma in there.
How is she towards her husband (if she has one)?
Are you guys from a western society, or middle eastern... or far eastern..or...?

[Kereli]

I think You need to stand up to your mother. I did that to my father and He is always intimidated by me.

She's impossible. She's really zealous about her beliefs and it's too late to change her. When my father divorced her I was upset but at the same time relieved. He's living with another woman now (who's very nice), although it took him a while to trust any woman again after her. She really had him brainwashed for a time.

---

Sorry Pocaracas, I didn't see what you posted under the video.

I don't want to call it trauma but my opinion of women is almost rock bottom. I like the company of my husband's friends and I tend to avoid female company as much as possible. I know it's not the way to go but that's what happens when you're raised by a zealot for a mother who thinks that I have to behave like a man and compete. She was terrible to my dad, almost totally emasculating him, but somehow he found his way out of that and now he's living with another woman and he's alright. I like the woman he's with but I don't talk to her much. My mother is american and my dad is spanish.

[Minimalist]

If I so much as make my husband a cup of tea she immediately becomes judgmental,

In one sense your mother is right. You need to grow a pair of balls.

The very next time she starts that shit tell her to shut the fuck up or get out.

Problem solved.

Yes, she sounds like a controlling cunt. But you have the ability to not be controlled.

[Kereli]

If I so much as make my husband a cup of tea she immediately becomes judgmental,

In one sense your mother is right. You need to grow a pair of balls.

The very next time she starts that shit tell her to shut the fuck up or get out.

Problem solved.

Yes, she sounds like a controlling cunt. But you have the ability to not be controlled.

True. Ironically it's her, with her complaining and bitching, who is the controlling one, and not my husband.

[pocaracas]

Sorry Pocaracas, I didn't see what you posted under the video.

No worries!

I don't want to call it trauma but my opinion of women is almost rock bottom. I like the company of my husband's friends and I tend to avoid female company as much as possible.

How about you try to invert that situation?
There are a few places that are good for woman-woman interaction, such as, but not restricted to:
- Beauty salon (or whatever you call the place where you get your hair or nails done)
- The place, in a company (if you work in a large enough one) where the secretaries mostly lounge

- watch soap operas!

I know it's not the way to go but that's what happens when you're raised by a zealot for a mother who thinks that I have to behave like a man and compete.

Do you compete?

She was terrible to my dad, almost totally emasculating him, but somehow he found his way out of that and now he's living with another woman and he's alright. I like the woman he's with but I don't talk to her much. My mother is american and my dad is spanish.

Macho latino.... turned pussy... got free!
Try to interact with your dad's new wife more often.... and with your mother less often.
Normal women are not like your mother... but some are and we have to live with it.

[Kereli]

No I'm not naturally very competitive. I never did compete much, but the fact that she kept going on and on drove me nuts. And the zealous crap, equality this, sexism that, ugh.

[Raeven]

I don't understand why she is around so much. How come you permit it? If someone -- anyone -- was trying so hard to get between me and the man I loved, I'd be putting a stop to that tout de suite. How come she is around so much to watch you make your husband a cup of tea or a snack?

Start by controlling her access to the two of you. In other words, she is welcome when she is invited to dinner -- but not otherwise.

[Kereli]

I don't understand why she is around so much. How come you permit it? If someone -- anyone -- was trying so hard to get between me and the man I loved, I'd be putting a stop to that tout de suite. How come she is around so much to watch you make your husband a cup of tea or a snack?

Start by controlling her access to the two of you. In other words, she is welcome when she is invited to dinner -- but not otherwise.

Yes, of course. Getting her to keep her visits short isn't that hard. But a part of me doesn't want to lose contact with her. Really, it's not like she's round all the time. It's how she behaves that's the problem, always making an issue out of everything.

[Raeven]

But you can't control how she behaves. Only how you respond to her behavior. Sucks, but it's everyone's reality.