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The Onion: God eats humans on occasion
October 21, 2013 at 6:23 am
The Onion Wrote:“It’s not something I do very often, but yes, I have been known to eat humans from time to time,” said God, claiming that while He didn’t consider human beings “an everyday kind of meal, per se,” they do occasionally make for a decent snack. “In fact, sometimes I’ll suddenly catch myself nibbling on a human being without even realizing it. They’re nice and chewy and bite-size, and there’s always a lot of them just lying around so I figure, hey, why not.”
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When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura
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RE: The Onion: God eats humans on occasion
October 25, 2013 at 1:43 am
(This post was last modified: October 25, 2013 at 1:44 am by Owlix.)
Hahaha.... Couldn't help but laugh at this.
Quote:“Sometimes I put the remains back where I found them and make it look like a murder or something,” the Eternal One continued.
same as above
![[Image: CheerUp_zps63df8a6b.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=i1118.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fk619%2Fjcincain%2FArt%2520Vault%2FCheerUp_zps63df8a6b.jpg)
Thanks to Cinjin for making it more 'sig space' friendly.
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RE: The Onion: God eats humans on occasion
October 25, 2013 at 5:31 am
The Onion is pure gold. I subscribe to them on G+, can't resist the lulz 
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura
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RE: The Onion: God eats humans on occasion
October 25, 2013 at 8:55 pm
(October 21, 2013 at 6:23 am)Kayenneh Wrote: The Onion Wrote:“It’s not something I do very often, but yes, I have been known to eat humans from time to time,” said God, claiming that while He didn’t consider human beings “an everyday kind of meal, per se,” they do occasionally make for a decent snack. “In fact, sometimes I’ll suddenly catch myself nibbling on a human being without even realizing it. They’re nice and chewy and bite-size, and there’s always a lot of them just lying around so I figure, hey, why not.”
And sometimes Catholics eat God so it all kind of evens out.
.
Cheerful Charlie
If I saw a man beating a tied up dog, I couldn't prove it was wrong, but I'd know it was wrong.
- Attributed to Mark Twain
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RE: The Onion: God eats humans on occasion
October 25, 2013 at 9:08 pm
No Cheerful Charlie, they eat Christ. The trinity, somehow they're all three different entities. Except when they're not.
When I was growing up, I remember my catechism teacher asking me if I wanted to receive my first communion on my hands or in my mouth. Creepy. They told me most often the young just open their mouths and the priest places the wafer on their tongue rather than into their open hands. But if into the open hands, for some reason the right hand had to receive the wafer, the left was underneath.
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RE: The Onion: God eats humans on occasion
October 25, 2013 at 11:27 pm
Why didn't he eat me? Was I not tasty enough?
But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin.
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RE: The Onion: God eats humans on occasion
October 26, 2013 at 12:11 am
(October 25, 2013 at 11:27 pm)Polaris Wrote: Why didn't he eat me? Was I not tasty enough?
I don't know.. Or maybe he saves the best ones for last 
Come to think of it, isn't this kind of Cthulhu's schtick?
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura
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RE: The Onion: God eats humans on occasion
October 26, 2013 at 3:58 pm
(This post was last modified: October 26, 2013 at 4:06 pm by Jackalope.)
(October 26, 2013 at 12:11 am)Kayenneh Wrote: (October 25, 2013 at 11:27 pm)Polaris Wrote: Why didn't he eat me? Was I not tasty enough?
I don't know.. Or maybe he saves the best ones for last
Come to think of it, isn't this kind of Cthulhu's schtick?
You rang?
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