How i became an atheist

[Nicky]

I'm 16 and i come from an extremely Christian family. All my life i have gone to church every week and have been taught that God will answer my prayers. Although my Dad was not brought up as a Christian, he converted when he met my mother. Her father ran a Biblical college, and my uncle is a vicar. I always hated going to church and tried different ways to get out of it when i was younger- not because i didn't believe, but because it was boring! i couldn't understand why the people in church were swaying with closed eyes and raised arms- 'feeling the holy spirit'. Why didn't i feel like them? I thought that it must just be because i am young and i will understand and feel the same way when i am older. I didn't pray often but when i did i felt nothing. When i went to school, i met people who were openly atheist - and what they said had a point. When i went home i announced that i was i didn't believe in God. But it didn't really mean anything- i was merely regurgitating what my friend had said- and deep down i was still scared of 'the eternal hell fire'. I put it out of mine and said to my parents that i did really believe in God, and put out of mind any reasoning from my friends. i even got scared of going to R.S. lessons in case someone came up with a plausible argument against the existence of God and i agreed with it. For a couple of years i went on like this, until i couldn't face it any more, i had to accept that i was doubting Christianity. Yet still i was so scared that i would go to hell that i had what i can only describe as a nervous breakdown, i felt depressed, and terrified to the point i would go rigid and shake with fear. I kept having these episodes, until they gradually went after about 8 months altogether. I pushed my fears to the back of my mind and went on as i had done for a couple of more years. Then, one day my atheist friend was talking about her views, and for some reason, i wasn't afraid to listen, i began to understand what she was saying and could relate to it far more than i could relate to Christianity. What she was saying made sense, but this time instead of just taking on her views i formed my own opinions- the idea of God seemed so ridiculous to me that i didn't think of hell with fear anymore. I admit that at first i felt quite scared to label myself an atheist- if people would ask i would call myself agnostic. But now, i feel confident enough in my views to say that i am an atheist. And i must say i am surprised with how it feels, i had been brought up to think that atheists were very sad and unhappy with their lives- but instead i felt free- i no longer had to abide by rules that did not to seem to have any point. Atheist are completely misunderstood- we are not sad sinful individuals, we are merely people that challenge other peoples views rather than accepting what other people tell us.

[Craveman]

Well done! Now you can live your life to the full without having an imaginary friend or waste your time going to church! Sadly there are still many Christians who are controlled by fear and because of this I will still argue that, because of the brainwashing through religion and fear, they don't really have freedom of choice to decide for themselves.

"Hell" is an aweful place and people are shit scared because of it. Do you really think that an perfect, all-loving God would create such an evil place and damn people to all eternity just because they've sinned? That is not a loving and fair God in my eyes.

PS: There is a nice post on the "religion" section called "Hell" if you want to check it out

[Edwardo Piet]

Good story, good job, and once again, welcome

Good for you

EvF

[Minimalist]

Hello, Nicky.

[fr0d0]

Sounds like you have an incredibly poor understanding of Christianity if as you stated a couple of times you actually feared hell/ saw belief as something to include fear. Not that this is so unheard of. Fear is the opposite to the message of Jesus.
Of course you're going to doubt. Every human being honest with themselves is. Nothing wrong with discovering your position and declaring it.

[Edwardo Piet]

Fr0d0,

and how does what you believe Christianity to be, have any more evidence than what he believed in?

EvF

[fr0d0]

Like we've discussed Evie.. evidence has FUCK ALL to do with it

How could it? How does it? What bearing would that have on either of our experiences? Could you be any more off topic?

Kevin, from his posts so far on this forum, is a child of Christian religiots. He has never had rationally realised beliefs. He has believed as a child I think and now coming to reason things out has no reasoning for God. Therefore naturally, he does not believe. Nothing wrong with that at all.

[Edwardo Piet]

It has fuck-all to do with it...which means you don't care if you don't know of anything whatsoever that actually indicates that God exists?

You'd be happy with a consoling and/or inspiring myth? A placebo? A, in some way 'positive delusion'? And that's, positive to you and others who share your view of course. I don't need it.

Because if you actually care about whether you know of anything whatsoever that actually indicates God ... you'd want indication - you'd want evidence!

EvF

[fr0d0]

Evidence would suggest an entirely different subject, and not belief in a God. Because belief in a God cannot include proof of that sort. Our holding the belief by faith is part of the puzzle.

Which is a great point you're raised. It's a life feeding ethos. Something I feel entirely justifies the belief.

[Edwardo Piet]

So, I think you have said before fr0d0 - haven't you? - that you believe IN God but both evidence, and his existence is irrelevant. You're perfectly happy believing in the logically impossible?

Is it just how the belief effects your life - and others lives - that matters to you?

EvF