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Biphobia and hypocrisy of gays and lesbians
#1
Biphobia and hypocrisy of gays and lesbians














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#2
RE: Biphobia and hypocrisy of gays and lesbians
I dunno. I can kinda see both sides of it.

On one hand, a lot of GLBT environments do kinda erase bisexuals. I've felt it. Part of me gets a little nervous about my boyfriend passing to well because, suddenly, if we start to be seen as a regular old straight couple, I worry that we'll lose some of that acceptance we currently get, being seen as a couple of lesbians; and that time of passing seems to be rapidly approaching, too.

On the other hand, I've also seen my fair share of (mostly) girls who claim to be bi, date guys exclusively and cling to their bisexual claims to making out with other girls once in a while, usually to get attention or excite men. I've even seen guys who also date only girls, but cling to some other-than-straight identity so they can fit into environments that can be hostile to straight, cis, white men. I kinda feel like, when people do that, when they claim identities for reasons that are less than genuine, it cheapens what the rest of us go through.

Fortunately, it's not as much of an issue for me as it is for a lot of people. I'm in a relationship, have been for nearly three years now and I'm not really looking for anyone else to get with. Being bisexual (or straight or gay) is kinda about who you date or sleep with and since my partner is solidly chosen already, I don't have to worry about finding anyone else any time soon. But, yeah, it does frustrate me seeing some of these queer spaces that are formed around how they're all different from each othe instead of focusing on what they have in common. Why do we always have to needlessly divide ourselves?
I live on facebook. Come see me there. http://www.facebook.com/tara.rizzatto

"If you cling to something as the absolute truth and you are caught in it, when the truth comes in person to knock on your door you will refuse to let it in." ~ Siddhartha Gautama
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#3
RE: Biphobia and hypocrisy of gays and lesbians
Of course, the upside of bisexuality is that it instantly doubles your chances for a date at week-end.

Seriously, though, I don't see biphobia as being materially different from any other form of prejudice. When you judge people on things over which they have no control (sexual preference, skin colour, place of origin, etc), you're a bigot, pure and simple. Mind your business and let other people mind theirs.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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#4
RE: Biphobia and hypocrisy of gays and lesbians
Few faces, many problems underlying.

I really wanted to integrate into the GLBT community, especially T... but the rampant rad-feminism of said community is absolutely outrageous. I couldn't stomach it, I held myself anchored into T, but I absolutely couldn't force myself to continue attending the GLB community meetings. Granted... T is a considerably smaller community, better served through friendship than through consistent meetings.

Gay peeps, lezzie peeps, bi peeps, straight peeps, pan peeps, pedo peeps and more: these all are sexualities. What one finds *sexually attractive*... or at least *romantically attractive*. There should not be *any* divisions here, there should not be *any* malcontent towards members of other groups for liking something else... especially not to the severity displayed ('gad h8z figz!', 'stw8 min needr huv bulz cut urf'!). I swear... it's like the greater half (or at least, the louder half) is straightphobic (straight up afraid)... and I think that this is the biggest problem they might have with accepting bi people's bisexuality.

Also, 'male privilege' as a 'special concept' somehow separate 'female privilege' and 'babyhood privilege' and 'teenager privilege' and 'wheelchair privilege' and 'whateverthehell privilege'? That can die in a fire. And it adds on top of the whole mess.

Transgendered people in particular just... can't seem to get over their differences. There are such incredibly exclusive groups as 'http://blacktransmen.org/', hyper-feministic only tW groups, tM groups made to counter the radfems, gender neutrals and multigendered people shoved into their own damn corner... look, I know most of us are going through puberty (again...), but it doesn't have to be a highschool-cliques representation! Even worse for the T community... many of them take this as a temporary chapter in their life, and then they go stealth. Understandable, but it's still sad.

* Violet is all vented out, now. Sleeeeeep.

Good luck with your meaty topic. Hopefully you'll give us a few more words next time Tongue
Please give me a home where cloud buffalo roam
Where the dear and the strangers can play
Where sometimes is heard a discouraging word
But the skies are not stormy all day
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#5
RE: Biphobia and hypocrisy of gays and lesbians
(December 28, 2013 at 6:16 am)Violet Lilly Blossom Wrote: Transgendered people in particular just... can't seem to get over their differences. There are such incredibly exclusive groups as 'http://blacktransmen.org/', hyper-feministic only tW groups, tM groups made to counter the radfems, gender neutrals and multigendered people shoved into their own damn corner... look, I know most of us are going through puberty (again...), but it doesn't have to be a highschool-cliques representation! Even worse for the T community... many of them take this as a temporary chapter in their life, and then they go stealth. Understandable, but it's still sad.

Yeah, that's actually something I heard talked about a while ago.

See, go backward to 2009 when I first moved to Houston. One of the amazing things about the city is that we have the awesomest transgender community. There's a transgender center that provides all kinds of support for people in need. The transgender community has even gotten themselves involved in local politics, thanks in no small part to the fact that there is a trans lawyer (who has since become a judge) who has been extremely supportive of the center and their goals. A lot of this would be impossible in other transgender communities, though.

Well, the woman who runs the center is named Cristan. A while back, I believe she told me she went to San Fransisco and tried to work with a local transgender community there. One of the things that seemed to happen there that interfered with her is that the seperate groups had already formed into heir exclusive cliques. See, in Houston, we have enough unity between the groups that we can accomplish things. The tg center is welcoming of crossdresses, drag queens, gender queer people, trans men, trans women, allies and even the occassional mentally ill person who tells us some obviously absurd story about how they're trans (trust me, if you had ever met Patch, you would fully understand this one). Sure, when differences are relevent, we'll bring them up. For example, there's a group for trans men where they can talk about issues exclusive to them. There's a botique for crossdressers where they can buy the clothes they're into (most of which tend to be too flamboyant for a lot of transwomen to wear on a day to day basis).

For the most part, we go with the big tent idea and it works. It gives us enough resources and support to have our center provide assistance to people in need. If you start getting into more exclusive groups, like you go into "lesbian trans women of color" or "gay transmen survivors of sexual assault," the group doesn't have enough backing on its own to really do very much good but if you manage to gather all those groups together.... that's when we can do a lot of good.

So, if you ever drop by Houston, you might want to take a look at us.
I live on facebook. Come see me there. http://www.facebook.com/tara.rizzatto

"If you cling to something as the absolute truth and you are caught in it, when the truth comes in person to knock on your door you will refuse to let it in." ~ Siddhartha Gautama
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#6
RE: Biphobia and hypocrisy of gays and lesbians
Certain people within the LGBT are very hostile to bisexuality.

Quote:I've also seen my fair share of (mostly) girls who claim to be bi, date guys exclusively and cling to their bisexual claims to making out with other girls once in a while, usually to get attention or excite men. I've even seen guys who also date only girls, but cling to some other-than-straight identity so they can fit into environments that can be hostile to straight, cis, white men. I kinda feel like, when people do that, when they claim identities for reasons that are less than genuine, it cheapens what the rest of us go through.
So because some people who are bisexual are sometimes less than 3 on the Kinsey scale what they have to go through is less important?
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#7
RE: Biphobia and hypocrisy of gays and lesbians
(December 28, 2013 at 12:06 pm)MarxRaptor Wrote: Certain people within the LGBT are very hostile to bisexuality.

Quote:I've also seen my fair share of (mostly) girls who claim to be bi, date guys exclusively and cling to their bisexual claims to making out with other girls once in a while, usually to get attention or excite men. I've even seen guys who also date only girls, but cling to some other-than-straight identity so they can fit into environments that can be hostile to straight, cis, white men. I kinda feel like, when people do that, when they claim identities for reasons that are less than genuine, it cheapens what the rest of us go through.
So because some people who are bisexual are sometimes less than 3 on the Kinsey scale what they have to go through is less important?

You're kinda right. I mean, I don't want to be outright hostile towards them. But, at the same time, it also leads to girls being hesitant to date other girls who identify as bisexual, out of fear that they're only going to be with a woman until a semi-interesting man comes along.
I live on facebook. Come see me there. http://www.facebook.com/tara.rizzatto

"If you cling to something as the absolute truth and you are caught in it, when the truth comes in person to knock on your door you will refuse to let it in." ~ Siddhartha Gautama
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#8
RE: Biphobia and hypocrisy of gays and lesbians
And they're not afraid that a semi-interesting other woman might come along?
[Image: 10314461_875206779161622_3907189760171701548_n.jpg]
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#9
RE: Biphobia and hypocrisy of gays and lesbians
(December 28, 2013 at 12:17 pm)TaraJo Wrote:
(December 28, 2013 at 12:06 pm)MarxRaptor Wrote: Certain people within the LGBT are very hostile to bisexuality.

So because some people who are bisexual are sometimes less than 3 on the Kinsey scale what they have to go through is less important?

You're kinda right. I mean, I don't want to be outright hostile towards them. But, at the same time, it also leads to girls being hesitant to date other girls who identify as bisexual, out of fear that they're only going to be with a woman until a semi-interesting man comes along.

And that's the kind of shit that pisses us off. Ive dated all of three people in my life two girls and a guy and it's been over a span of 6 years. Mackenzie couldn't handle me losing my sight. The second girl left me for her ex. And me and Aaron mutually broke up because neither of us could get over him not understanding the color blue.
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#10
RE: Biphobia and hypocrisy of gays and lesbians
(December 28, 2013 at 12:31 pm)BadWriterSparty Wrote: And they're not afraid that a semi-interesting other woman might come along?

If someone is more attracted to men than women, sure, it's possible, but it's far more likely to happen the other way around. Or, at very least, I can see why people would think so, anyway.
I live on facebook. Come see me there. http://www.facebook.com/tara.rizzatto

"If you cling to something as the absolute truth and you are caught in it, when the truth comes in person to knock on your door you will refuse to let it in." ~ Siddhartha Gautama
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