Posts: 560
Threads: 36
Joined: January 16, 2014
Reputation:
12
My poor mom
January 19, 2014 at 9:11 am
(This post was last modified: January 19, 2014 at 9:12 am by ThePinsir.)
My mom is a very religious, spiritual Christian. Has been for a long time. I "came out" a few days ago, and it broke her heart. She's convinced that she'll be in paradise forever while her son won't, and the fact that she's sad kind of makes me sad. Yesterday, my lil bro told us he doesn't believe in god either, so now she's even more upset. Looking from her point of view, understandably so.
How do you guys console your religious patents? I'm not interested in "de-converting" her or anything, but I feel bad because she feels bad. What do?
Posts: 6946
Threads: 26
Joined: April 28, 2012
Reputation:
83
RE: My poor mom
January 19, 2014 at 9:23 am
Continue to love and support her while being the same person you were one second prior to divulging your atheism. Hopefully she will come to understand that your atheism is an insignificant fact in understanding that you are still the same person; a person that she presumably thinks the world of.
Posts: 3226
Threads: 244
Joined: April 17, 2012
Reputation:
54
RE: My poor mom
January 19, 2014 at 10:56 am
It's not possible to be sad in heaven anyway.
My ignore list
"The lord doesn't work in mysterious ways, but in ways that are indistinguishable from his nonexistence."
-- George Yorgo Veenhuyzen quoted by John W. Loftus in The End of Christianity (p. 103).
Posts: 15351
Threads: 118
Joined: January 13, 2014
Reputation:
117
RE: My poor mom
January 19, 2014 at 11:30 am
Pinsir I have nearly the same situation. There is nothing you can do to console your mother. I have been "out" for more than 10 years to my parents and still they are devastated because they believe I am going to hell while they spend eternity together. While ridiculous, it's understandable given the presupposition.
It will become less sad for her, though. Time will help. What you must do is to continue to love your mother, being firm in yourself. My mother still tries to guilt me into "being with the family" for Christmas or Easter services at her church. Advocate for yourself while remembering that you only have this one life with your family, don't allow this to drive a wedge between you. Also, support your little brother. I'm not sure how old he is, but it can be rough being younger and not having someone to talk to about this stuff.
Posts: 560
Threads: 36
Joined: January 16, 2014
Reputation:
12
RE: My poor mom
January 19, 2014 at 11:44 am
(January 19, 2014 at 11:30 am)SteelCurtain Wrote: Pinsir I have nearly the same situation. There is nothing you can do to console your mother. I have been "out" for more than 10 years to my parents and still they are devastated because they believe I am going to hell while they spend eternity together. While ridiculous, it's understandable given the presupposition.
It will become less sad for her, though. Time will help. What you must do is to continue to love your mother, being firm in yourself. My mother still tries to guilt me into "being with the family" for Christmas or Easter services at her church. Advocate for yourself while remembering that you only have this one life with your family, don't allow this to drive a wedge between you. Also, support your little brother. I'm not sure how old he is, but it can be rough being younger and not having someone to talk to about this stuff.
Thanks a million for the reply. My bro is 16 (I'm 23). Yesterday he came home from the library with "A Brief history of time" and a book on evolution. I was so proud! My mom was probably horrified lol.
Posts: 228
Threads: 17
Joined: January 9, 2014
Reputation:
2
RE: My poor mom
January 19, 2014 at 6:20 pm
(January 19, 2014 at 9:11 am)ThePinsir Wrote: My mom is a very religious, spiritual Christian. Has been for a long time. I "came out" a few days ago, and it broke her heart. She's convinced that she'll be in paradise forever while her son won't, and the fact that she's sad kind of makes me sad. Yesterday, my lil bro told us he doesn't believe in god either, so now she's even more upset. Looking from her point of view, understandably so.
How do you guys console your religious patents? I'm not interested in "de-converting" her or anything, but I feel bad because she feels bad. What do?
i kind of have the same situation with my parents, i think just try to explain to them atheism and its just a looooong conversation
xR34P3Rx
it isn't in our nature to think of a God, it is in our nature to seek answers and the concept of God is most influenced in this world.
Posts: 7031
Threads: 250
Joined: March 4, 2011
Reputation:
78
RE: My poor mom
January 19, 2014 at 6:33 pm
(January 19, 2014 at 9:11 am)ThePinsir Wrote: How do you guys console your religious patents? I'm not interested in "de-converting" her or anything, but I feel bad because she feels bad. What do?
Christianity = Pain.
Unfortunately, the only thing that will save your mom from her self-inflicted pain IS deconversion. Show her the truth. Shine a light on that nasty disease. Show her that history and archeology don't support her beliefs. Than show her all the horrible things and contradictions that come out of the Bible. Many devout atheists were once sheep. It's rare, but some can be taught.
Posts: 9176
Threads: 76
Joined: November 21, 2013
Reputation:
40
RE: My poor mom
January 19, 2014 at 6:48 pm
My grandmother is worried for my soul, but I don't think she's crying herself to sleep over it. I just tell her I have too many problems with the old testament, and the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus story to be a christian anymore. It's just not a thing I can do anymore.
Posts: 89
Threads: 16
Joined: January 19, 2014
Reputation:
2
RE: My poor mom
January 19, 2014 at 7:20 pm
I can relate, except my dad is more pissed off at me than sad.
Posts: 954
Threads: 24
Joined: October 7, 2013
Reputation:
26
RE: My poor mom
January 19, 2014 at 7:48 pm
(January 19, 2014 at 6:33 pm)Cinjin Wrote: (January 19, 2014 at 9:11 am)ThePinsir Wrote: How do you guys console your religious patents? I'm not interested in "de-converting" her or anything, but I feel bad because she feels bad. What do?
Christianity = Pain.
Unfortunately, the only thing that will save your mom from her self-inflicted pain IS deconversion. Show her the truth. Shine a light on that nasty disease. Show her that history and archeology don't support her beliefs. Than show her all the horrible things and contradictions that come out of the Bible. Many devout atheists were once sheep. It's rare, but some can be taught.
|