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Just converted my mom to atheism.....????
January 30, 2015 at 11:45 pm
(This post was last modified: January 30, 2015 at 11:46 pm by Rancid.)
Hello all.
I'm still trying to process what just happened.
I sat down with my mother to have a very long talk about what I believed. (She is, er, was? Catholic)
When I told her that religion all came down to faith, apparently that's what "got her."
This is definitely not at ALL what I expected.
I feel like I should be joyful but I'm actually rather nervous about just how much things might change...? I am SO used to being that "odd one out." This is just such a dramatic change.
Plus, she's had a lot of trouble with my dad and I guess I don't truly know the full story, but from what she has told me previously, he really does not deserve any further efforts to be reasoned with to try and save the marriage...she's sort of approaching this whole thing from a "oh well nothing really matters then" viewpoint I guess?? maybe? or maybe she really does want to keep trying with him... I just really don't know. I'm still shocked. I could use some words from someone else right now. Something to make me feel grounded again :')
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RE: Just converted my mom to atheism.....????
January 30, 2015 at 11:53 pm
I'm confused about how admitting that faith is what "got her" means that you might have converted her to atheism...
To a lot of religious people, faith is a good thing to have, and admitting that faith is why they believe is their weird little pillar to stand on and look down on those of us who require evidence and sound reason. "You have to have faith" is their battle cry and their retreating argument.
Perhaps you didn't explain the story fully?
Teenaged X-Files obsession + Bermuda Triangle episode + Self-led school research project = Atheist.
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RE: Just converted my mom to atheism.....????
January 31, 2015 at 12:00 am
(This post was last modified: January 31, 2015 at 12:03 am by Rancid.)
(January 30, 2015 at 11:53 pm)Clueless Morgan Wrote: I'm confused about how admitting that faith is what "got her" means that you might have converted her to atheism...
To a lot of religious people, faith is a good thing to have, and admitting that faith is why they believe is their weird little pillar to stand on and look down on those of us who require evidence and sound reason. "You have to have faith" is their battle cry and their retreating argument.
Perhaps you didn't explain the story fully?
Yeah, she said that when it all comes down to faith, then you can't really prove anything. And she really likes to think of herself as someone who looks for truth, and thinks logically and rationally... does that clarify it a little more? She also shared how much she has prayed and prayed and prayed and nothing happens, after I shared my experience of doing the same thing. Again, I apologize if I'm a little disorganized :')
Before I made that point, we had already been going back and forth for quite a while about our different viewpoints. It might've all just connected for her.
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RE: Just converted my mom to atheism.....????
January 31, 2015 at 12:03 am
Good discussions often lead to good things. Be there for her. If you have any lessons learned from your deconversion, you might want to help her out.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great
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RE: Just converted my mom to atheism.....????
January 31, 2015 at 12:04 am
Yes.
But don't count your chickens before they hatch. You might have sown the seed of her atheism, but wait to proclaim victory until she, you know, says she is one. :p
Teenaged X-Files obsession + Bermuda Triangle episode + Self-led school research project = Atheist.
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RE: Just converted my mom to atheism.....????
January 31, 2015 at 12:16 am
(This post was last modified: January 31, 2015 at 12:19 am by Rancid.)
(January 31, 2015 at 12:04 am)Clueless Morgan Wrote: Yes.
But don't count your chickens before they hatch. You might have sown the seed of her atheism, but wait to proclaim victory until she, you know, says she is one. :p
Haha, absolutely. She did call me the "Atheist Prophet" LOL. And she's doing research online already. She does seem rather distant, though not necessarily mad at me, at the moment. But she was quite a faithful woman and I feel like I crushed something in her  I get why some people need religion and faith, y'know, it seemed to be making her happy. I had no intention of converting her when this conversation started. She did mention it's "liberating," however...
I'm starting to feel better already, at first it was just like, whoa... :'D
(January 31, 2015 at 12:03 am)SteelCurtain Wrote: Good discussions often lead to good things. Be there for her. If you have any lessons learned from your deconversion, you might want to help her out.
Absolutely. I want to be absolutely sure that she's okay. I hope I can provide that well for her.
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RE: Just converted my mom to atheism.....????
January 31, 2015 at 3:33 am
(This post was last modified: January 31, 2015 at 3:33 am by Alex K.)
Hm, how odd that you stating the obvious had this impact.... Maybe she simply needed to hear it said out loud...
(January 31, 2015 at 12:03 am)SteelCurtain Wrote: Good discussions often lead to good things. Be there for her. If you have any lessons learned from your deconversion, you might want to help her out.
Exactly. Especially if her marriage is in danger of failing.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition
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RE: Just converted my mom to atheism.....????
January 31, 2015 at 4:38 am
Can you come talk to my mom? I'll pay you.
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RE: Just converted my mom to atheism.....????
January 31, 2015 at 4:57 am
Wow! Well that is amazing. It sounds like she has finally seen through it all. As others have said, being there for her is the most important thing. If she does follow through, then there may well be a period of adjustment where she feels confused and helpless. It's a big thing to question what you've taken for granted your whole life. But I would hold out hope that once she comes to terms with it, she will feel liberated and happy.
Maybe you could help by preparing some of the arguments for why non belief can be a great thing. It means she has realized this life is (probably) all there is, and this makes it far more precious. When you believe in an infinite afterlife, that heavily devalues this life as this is a drop in the ocean, and people are looking forward to it being over in some ways. Now she can have a new perspective, and be relieved that she has time to consider these implications.
Obviously I don't know your mum, but there are great things such as freedom from cognitive dissidence, and realising that it's really your conscience, reason and empathy that gives you morality, not religion. (To demonstrate you just need to ask her why she only follows the moral teachings in the bible that she happens to agree with and ignores the rest!)
I hope everything turns out well 
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RE: Just converted my mom to atheism.....????
January 31, 2015 at 10:46 am
(This post was last modified: January 31, 2015 at 10:48 am by Nope.)
My guess is that a single discussion didn't make her an atheist. She has probably been turning this over in her mind for a long time. Because I kept my doubts to myself, my deconversion probably seemed drastic to many people but it actually took a long time. The process of losing faith can be painful if you are older when it happens. Give her a hug and be there for her.
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