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Most Awkward Presents
#1
Most Awkward Presents
What's the most awkward present you've ever gotten?

My mom once got me what she thought was an interactive horror B-movie. It was actually interactive horror porn. Then, we watched it together. I will never get those images out of my head. One of the last scenes shows a chick fucking another chick to death with a katana. Confused Fall
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#2
RE: Most Awkward Presents
(March 11, 2014 at 12:16 am)futilethewinds Wrote: What's the most awkward present you've ever gotten?

My mom once got me what she thought was an interactive horror B-movie. It was actually interactive horror porn. Then, we watched it together. I will never get those images out of my head. One of the last scenes shows a chick fucking another chick to death with a katana. Confused Fall

I never had an awkward present really but my dad and I once rented out the modern version of "psycho" and it was ridiculously embarrassing watching the scene where hes masturbating while watching the girl through a hole in the wall while my dad was there.


Are you ready for the fire? We are firemen. WE ARE FIREMEN! The heat doesn’t bother us. We live in the heat. We train in the heat. It tells us that we’re ready, we’re at home, we’re where we’re supposed to be. Flames don’t intimidate us. What do we do? We control the flame. We control them. We move the flames where we want to. And then we extinguish them.

Impersonation is treason.





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#3
RE: Most Awkward Presents
My cousin once got a present from one of our 'eccentric' (ie, crazy as hell) aunts which really made us wonder. It was a box of walnuts packed around a white styrofoam mannequin head. We were never sure if the walnuts were packing material for the foam head, or if the foam head was filler for the box of nuts.
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#4
RE: Most Awkward Presents
This is more embarrassing than awkward but when I was like eight or nine years old my family threw me a birthday party at Red Robins and I was eagerly tearing through all my gifts, holding them up so everyone could see them as you do. So I got to the gift my aunt gave me and it turned out to be frilly underwear from some kind of pre-teen Victoria's Secret. I held them up before I realized what they were and was mortified.

But, honestly? Who buys that kind of underwear for a kid who's not even a double-digit age yet?
Teenaged X-Files obsession + Bermuda Triangle episode + Self-led school research project = Atheist.
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#5
RE: Most Awkward Presents
Every girly present as a child. Barbies, dresses, etc. Awkward pretending to be happy when misgendered.
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#6
RE: Most Awkward Presents
I was given a bible
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#7
RE: Most Awkward Presents
I never got an awkward gift, but I've sure given some. When we moved for the last time before my dad retired from the Navy, we moved into a neighborhood that really stretched my parents financially, but they wanted us in the best schools. (For which I thank them today) So we had NO money. Like ever. So when I got invited to birthday parties, my mom gave me $5 to get my friends presents. This gets you embarrassing presents for a 13 y.o. to give to his rich ass friends. We're sitting around a table in the $2+mil home of my friend when everyone has gotten him bad ass Super Soakers and video games and bitchin' Lego sets, and I got him a 100 piece puzzle for a toddler. Mortifying.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great

PM me your email address to join the Slack chat! I'll give you a taco(or five) if you join! --->There's an app and everything!<---
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#8
RE: Most Awkward Presents
Nothing too awkward. My parents hate sports, but know I like soccer. I like Manchester City FC of the English premier League. Once, my mother thought Manchester nly had one team, so she got the first t-shirt she saw with "Manchester" on it, and it was for Manchester United, a nearby rival. As well, I sent my parents a hint link for a poster of City of Manchester Stadium, where Man City play, and somehow it directed to a long sleeve Chealsea FC t-shirt. Comfy shirt, but when you're a Cubs fan, you're likely not a White Sox fan, to put it in baseball terms.

ETA: Oh, and one time in maybe the early 90's, I got three identical homework planners. From different family members. During I time I struggled in school.
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
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#9
RE: Most Awkward Presents
My mom got me gift cards to Lane Bryant and a gym for Christmas. That's when I knew I had gotten fat.

The Lane Bryant card came in handy, at least, so, there's that....

[Image: larashrug_zps240da0ab.gif]
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#10
RE: Most Awkward Presents
Not so much awkward as stupid.

One of my very religious aunts bought me a bible for Christmas a number of years ago, and she knows I'm an atheist.

In return I bought her a copy of God is Not Great by Christopher Hitchens

Cool Shades

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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