The Bible: not a page turner!
April 1, 2014 at 5:29 pm
(This post was last modified: April 1, 2014 at 5:37 pm by sven.)
I'd like to begin by saying that this post is not a discussion about the veracity of the bible or its moral, ethical or religious significance.
What I'm talking about is how boring I feel it is to read. I've twice made the mistake of starting from the beginning, but both those times I gave up before I had read even a third of it.
I've tried to read different parts that I thought would interest me, treating the Bible like a collection of different books (which it is, apparently). This didn't work either.
I feel the bible has a lot of flaws from a litterary point of view:
-Often clunky prose and unaesthetic language.
-Boring listings like, 'x begat y, then y begat z, and so on ad nauseum, that seem utterly insignificant to me as a modern person.
-Same as above, but instead dealing with what land belongs to whom.
-Characters appearing out of nowhere, or disappearing inexplicably.
-Similes and metaphors that I believe lack meaning to many modern readers.
-Too much repetition.
-Disjointedness. Who the hell edited this crap?
I could go on and on about this, but its pointess. I just find it to be a hopeless book to read.
There are pretty passages that create a sense of wonder, like when God tells Abraham how many children he will have, and so on. But this is brought low by my feeling that the bible is a bit of a downer. There is too much 'don't do this, don't do that, or death and punishment'. Too often the main 'characters' seem to live miserable lives -- you wonder why they don't just do themselves in. There is also far too much heinous shit going on for my taste.
I also dislike the fact that you often have to turn to footnotes and even outside sources to understand what the heck is going on.
(The uncrowned master of this in modern times is Italian writer Umberto Ecco, IMO)
Again: I say this without in any way critiquing the truth of the bible, or its moral and religious significance.
By comparison, the bhagavad gita and its 'mommy' the mahabharata are beautiful and poetic texts that are fun and exiting to read. Even if they can be a little hard to understand sometimes, and they don't exactly end on a high note.
The Koran has a spaced-out poetic quality that makes it interesting, even when you don't understand it or it seems bat shit crazy (although I'm told much of this poetic quality is lost in translation from the Arabic)
The Poetic Edda is a fun read and contains a lot of thoughts and sayings that are valid even today, without mixing in any spirituality.
Some Zoroastrian texts I've read are interesting to read because those guys seemed to be like christians on LSD or something... Marry myself? Fuck yeah!
I twinge slightly with guilt when I think about the fact that I only know the overarching story of the Bible because I read a series of biblical comic books in my early teens.
So. My question to christians and de-converts alike: how the heck does one find the strength and energy to read the entire bible? Do/did you find it as boring as I did? How did you find it?
What I'm talking about is how boring I feel it is to read. I've twice made the mistake of starting from the beginning, but both those times I gave up before I had read even a third of it.
I've tried to read different parts that I thought would interest me, treating the Bible like a collection of different books (which it is, apparently). This didn't work either.
I feel the bible has a lot of flaws from a litterary point of view:
-Often clunky prose and unaesthetic language.
-Boring listings like, 'x begat y, then y begat z, and so on ad nauseum, that seem utterly insignificant to me as a modern person.
-Same as above, but instead dealing with what land belongs to whom.
-Characters appearing out of nowhere, or disappearing inexplicably.
-Similes and metaphors that I believe lack meaning to many modern readers.
-Too much repetition.
-Disjointedness. Who the hell edited this crap?
I could go on and on about this, but its pointess. I just find it to be a hopeless book to read.
There are pretty passages that create a sense of wonder, like when God tells Abraham how many children he will have, and so on. But this is brought low by my feeling that the bible is a bit of a downer. There is too much 'don't do this, don't do that, or death and punishment'. Too often the main 'characters' seem to live miserable lives -- you wonder why they don't just do themselves in. There is also far too much heinous shit going on for my taste.
I also dislike the fact that you often have to turn to footnotes and even outside sources to understand what the heck is going on.
(The uncrowned master of this in modern times is Italian writer Umberto Ecco, IMO)
Again: I say this without in any way critiquing the truth of the bible, or its moral and religious significance.
By comparison, the bhagavad gita and its 'mommy' the mahabharata are beautiful and poetic texts that are fun and exiting to read. Even if they can be a little hard to understand sometimes, and they don't exactly end on a high note.
The Koran has a spaced-out poetic quality that makes it interesting, even when you don't understand it or it seems bat shit crazy (although I'm told much of this poetic quality is lost in translation from the Arabic)
The Poetic Edda is a fun read and contains a lot of thoughts and sayings that are valid even today, without mixing in any spirituality.
Some Zoroastrian texts I've read are interesting to read because those guys seemed to be like christians on LSD or something... Marry myself? Fuck yeah!
I twinge slightly with guilt when I think about the fact that I only know the overarching story of the Bible because I read a series of biblical comic books in my early teens.
So. My question to christians and de-converts alike: how the heck does one find the strength and energy to read the entire bible? Do/did you find it as boring as I did? How did you find it?
