Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 1, 2024, 2:33 pm
Atheist Forums › Community › Atheism v
God banged YOUR wife!

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 1 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
God banged YOUR wife!
BlackSwordsman Offline
Junior Member
**
Religious Views: Buddhist
Posts: 288
Threads: 54
Joined: April 25, 2014
Reputation: 3
#1
God banged YOUR wife!
May 8, 2014 at 5:26 pm
So modern day, your wife comes up to you and says "I am pregnant with the God's child, he will be our savior"

As a rational human being what do YOU say?

I want a 2-scenario answer.

Scenario 1: Your a christian, answer as if you were

Scenario 2: You are not nuts, answer as such
Find
Reply
Jackalope Away
Elon Musk owes me money
*******
Religious Views: Absent
Posts: 30974
Threads: 204
Joined: July 19, 2011
Reputation: 141
#2
RE: God banged YOUR wife!
May 8, 2014 at 5:27 pm
"You could have at least let me watch."
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
*******
Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 35288
Threads: 204
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#3
RE: God banged YOUR wife!
May 8, 2014 at 6:00 pm
(May 8, 2014 at 5:26 pm)BlackSwordsman Wrote: So modern day, your wife comes up to you and says "I am pregnant with the God's child, he will be our savior"

As a rational human being what do YOU say?

I want a 2-scenario answer.

Scenario 1: Your a christian, answer as if you were

Scenario 2: You are not nuts, answer as such

Scenario 1: "I'm a christian? I have a wife? She's pregnant? I'm a lesbian? WTF?"

Scenario 2: "I have a wife? She's pregnant? I'm a lesbian? WTF?"

Tongue

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
pocaracas Offline
Posting Freak
*****
Religious Views: Non-believer
Posts: 19644
Threads: 177
Joined: July 31, 2012
Reputation: 92
#4
RE: God banged YOUR wife!
May 8, 2014 at 6:15 pm
I sense a slight gender bias in this thread.
Find
Reply
Chad32 Offline
The disillusioned
****
Religious Views: Apatheist/Antitheist
Posts: 9176
Threads: 76
Joined: November 21, 2013
Reputation: 40
#5
RE: God banged YOUR wife!
May 8, 2014 at 6:28 pm
"Doubt it."

Christian or not, that would be my answer.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

Find
Reply
BlackSwordsman Offline
Junior Member
**
Religious Views: Buddhist
Posts: 288
Threads: 54
Joined: April 25, 2014
Reputation: 3
#6
RE: God banged YOUR wife!
May 8, 2014 at 7:33 pm
(May 8, 2014 at 6:15 pm)pocaracas Wrote: I sense a slight gender bias in this thread.

How so?

The story goes, marry was impregnated by god, she told Joseph. Not sure how else to mix it up :p
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
*******
Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 35288
Threads: 204
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#7
RE: God banged YOUR wife!
May 8, 2014 at 7:41 pm
(May 8, 2014 at 7:33 pm)BlackSwordsman Wrote:
(May 8, 2014 at 6:15 pm)pocaracas Wrote: I sense a slight gender bias in this thread.

How so?

The story goes, marry was impregnated by god, she told Joseph. Not sure how else to mix it up :p

God knocks up your husband/boyfriend.

Now THAT might make the god worthy of attention.

ROFLOL

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
Bad Writer Offline
Resident Prose Slayer
****
Religious Views: De facto atheist
Posts: 2921
Threads: 26
Joined: June 25, 2013
Reputation: 41
#8
RE: God banged YOUR wife!
May 8, 2014 at 8:32 pm
1. I wouldn't believe it because it wasn't written in a 2000 year old book.

2a. I would ask, "Will 'God' be paying us child support?"

2b. I would say, "Have fun with your god-child at your new boyfriend's house."
[Image: 10314461_875206779161622_3907189760171701548_n.jpg]
Find
Reply
Jackalope Away
Elon Musk owes me money
*******
Religious Views: Absent
Posts: 30974
Threads: 204
Joined: July 19, 2011
Reputation: 141
#9
RE: God banged YOUR wife!
May 8, 2014 at 8:32 pm
(May 8, 2014 at 7:41 pm)Beccs Wrote:
(May 8, 2014 at 7:33 pm)BlackSwordsman Wrote: How so?

The story goes, marry was impregnated by god, she told Joseph. Not sure how else to mix it up :p

God knocks up your husband/boyfriend.

Now THAT might make the god worthy of attention.

That might make a believer out of me.

Hey Joseph - have fun passing that. Yuk yuk.
Find
Reply
Lemonvariable72 Offline
Copenhagen School
****
Religious Views: Its all bullshit to keep you handing money to the usher.
Posts: 3837
Threads: 197
Joined: August 28, 2013
Reputation: 38
#10
RE: God banged YOUR wife!
May 8, 2014 at 9:04 pm
1. What the, why would god choose us for?

2. Yeah sure god's baby. I want a fucking paternity test, now get the fuck out.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Community › Atheism v
God banged YOUR wife!

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  My Wife's Christian Co-worker Shaggy 29 5956 February 13, 2014 at 9:32 pm
Last Post: Cinjin
  But I'm a good mormon wife Erinome 8 2696 June 7, 2012 at 9:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  My wife is Christian... i'm not sure what I am. IDKWTB 25 8230 April 30, 2011 at 10:47 am
Last Post: Welsh cake



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)