As one last final concluding post I will make here is that I realize that the opening post I made is very long and might not get my point across. Therefore, I have made a brief summary right here in this post of the message that I was trying to get across. It has some of the same content with some new content. So here it is:
I'm an atheist and even though I'm well aware of the fact that there is no afterlife and no God and that we have to make the best of the life we have, this is how I feel anyway. Even though I'm an atheist, I truly wish I wasn't. I'd rather be the dumbest person on Earth who believes in a God and afterlife than be a smart young man who is logical and doesn't believe. My personality is someone who embraces and is empowered/inspired by mystical god-like things (the world of Zelda since it has mystical god-like things, as well as anime such as Bleach, Inuyasha, etc.). Therefore, this personality of mine detests atheism itself and views it as inferior to my "superior mystically empowered personality."
Most people who are atheists would have the personality of an atheist in that they would embrace the fact that there is no God and no afterlife when we die. However, for me, my atheism does not change my personality and these two things clash. Since I hate atheism itself, this is why I would hate to have the personality of an atheist. For me, it would be a personality that this life itself wants me to have through all of its "inferior concepts" (such as life being full of struggles and, of course, no God and no afterlife). I wish to have a personality that defies those things and which I view as superior for me as well as superior to these concepts of life I perceive as inferior which is the reason why this personality of mine is still fully intact. I realize though that life has no meaning and it's whatever meaning we give it. Therefore, these concepts of life that I view as inferior are actually neither inferior nor superior, they are "as is." However, I still completely feel this way anyway.
I have no anger or hate towards atheists (just towards atheism itself). I made this post to see if there's anyone like me here whose personality also clashes with their atheism.
I'm an atheist and even though I'm well aware of the fact that there is no afterlife and no God and that we have to make the best of the life we have, this is how I feel anyway. Even though I'm an atheist, I truly wish I wasn't. I'd rather be the dumbest person on Earth who believes in a God and afterlife than be a smart young man who is logical and doesn't believe. My personality is someone who embraces and is empowered/inspired by mystical god-like things (the world of Zelda since it has mystical god-like things, as well as anime such as Bleach, Inuyasha, etc.). Therefore, this personality of mine detests atheism itself and views it as inferior to my "superior mystically empowered personality."
Most people who are atheists would have the personality of an atheist in that they would embrace the fact that there is no God and no afterlife when we die. However, for me, my atheism does not change my personality and these two things clash. Since I hate atheism itself, this is why I would hate to have the personality of an atheist. For me, it would be a personality that this life itself wants me to have through all of its "inferior concepts" (such as life being full of struggles and, of course, no God and no afterlife). I wish to have a personality that defies those things and which I view as superior for me as well as superior to these concepts of life I perceive as inferior which is the reason why this personality of mine is still fully intact. I realize though that life has no meaning and it's whatever meaning we give it. Therefore, these concepts of life that I view as inferior are actually neither inferior nor superior, they are "as is." However, I still completely feel this way anyway.
I have no anger or hate towards atheists (just towards atheism itself). I made this post to see if there's anyone like me here whose personality also clashes with their atheism.