Posts: 35280
Threads: 204
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: My Christian Uncle
July 23, 2014 at 3:37 pm
(July 23, 2014 at 1:29 pm)Amalynne0 Wrote: Our heroes change as our perspectives change. It might hurt to tell the truth now but I think you'll feel more honest and liberated in the long run. Someone who truly loves you and supports you will be able to see past your lack of belief. If not, it's time to find some new heroes and mentors.
Wishing you the best, I went through a similar situation in my family. I've determined that my family is that of my choosing and not of my birth. <3
^^^^^This^^^^^
Be honest and open.
But, I would suggest doing it face to face. Sit him down, take a deep breath and be honest.
Yes, it can lead to problems, but to me it's better tthan living a lie.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 4344
Threads: 43
Joined: February 21, 2012
Reputation:
64
RE: My Christian Uncle
July 23, 2014 at 7:00 pm
(July 23, 2014 at 3:37 pm)Beccs Wrote: Yes, it can lead to problems, but to me it's better tthan living a lie.
I'm just not sure it even needs to be relevant. To me a sit down talk is making a big deal about it. Its not a lie to choose not to discuss something. Living a lie just seems really dramatic, being an atheist is a tiny part of what makes us people, it just doesn't need to be important in our relationships. I think people are too fast to put it on a pedestal.
Just like anything else you have a view on you don't need to announce it to not be 'living a lie'. Same with your views on anything else like politics, movies, music, racism, drugs or bigfoot. If you strongly disagree about them, you don't have to talk about them. You find the common ground and politely steer clear of things that cause friction.
I think that its entirely possible to politely say its not a good point of conversation. It's only a big deal if somebody makes it that way.
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation:
111
RE: My Christian Uncle
July 23, 2014 at 9:03 pm
Just ask him to join us here on the forum and then he can see what our resident "shameless harlot" is really like!
If strangers can love you for your honesty and who you are, why can't a relative?
Hint: first impressions are important, so give him lots of nice cookies when he arrives.
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Posts: 28389
Threads: 226
Joined: March 24, 2014
Reputation:
185
RE: My Christian Uncle
July 23, 2014 at 9:22 pm
(July 23, 2014 at 9:03 pm)ignoramus Wrote: Just ask him to join us here on the forum and then he can see what our resident "shameless harlot" is really like!
If strangers can love you for your honesty and who you are, why can't a relative?
Hint: first impressions are important, so give him lots of nice cookies when he arrives.
Ha. No. -_-
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay
0/10
Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
Posts: 7140
Threads: 12
Joined: March 14, 2013
Reputation:
72
RE: My Christian Uncle
July 24, 2014 at 5:39 am
(July 23, 2014 at 1:38 pm)Losty Wrote: I'm just afraid to tell him that. I mean, I just don't want to lose that one last piece of family that I can look up to, even if it's just an illusion. Be ready for that possibility, painful as it may be. And always remember that in situations like this you are the VICTIM. You are not the one who would cut off communication over a difference in ideals or beliefs-- he is. Don't blame yourself for the fact that he might be willing to turn his back on you because you won't bow to his imaginary god. Looks to me like too many people in your life have been cruel to you. Don't be cruel to yourself.
As someone who allowed far too many people to take advantage of his good nature for far too long a time, I'm particular sensitive to the idea of people using other people this way. It's not YOU. It's THEM. Remember that.
"Well, evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world's data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts don't go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein's theory of gravitation replaced Newton's in this century, but apples didn't suspend themselves in midair, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape- like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin's proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered."
-Stephen Jay Gould
Posts: 5399
Threads: 256
Joined: December 1, 2013
Reputation:
60
RE: My Christian Uncle
July 24, 2014 at 6:12 am
What do you think would be his reaction, Losty? Is it more important to you that you have an open, honest relationship with him and that you are both able to reveal to one another who you each really are, or that you never disappoint him (even though he'll likely get over it)?
He who loves God cannot endeavour that God should love him in return - Baruch Spinoza
Posts: 3837
Threads: 197
Joined: August 28, 2013
Reputation:
38
RE: My Christian Uncle
July 24, 2014 at 4:01 pm
First off can I say, WTF. Your family cut you out because of a divorce and not being christian enough? SHAME ON THEM! That's disgusting, fmaily comes first always, be they idiots or not. You know my grandfather is a basptisit minister and he still goes out of his way to contact, I suppose i'm lucky. Situations like I just read make me angry, you don't abandon your family.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
Posts: 8231
Threads: 40
Joined: March 18, 2014
Reputation:
54
RE: My Christian Uncle
July 24, 2014 at 4:15 pm
(July 23, 2014 at 1:38 pm)Losty Wrote: (July 23, 2014 at 1:34 pm)FatAndFaithless Wrote: You can be honest and compassionate at the same time. Something to the effect of "I genuinely appreciate the sentiment, but I don't think prayer would help me. Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts, i love you" or something like that.
I'm just afraid to tell him that. I mean, I just don't want to lose that one last piece of family that I can look up to, even if it's just an illusion.
Bah today is just not a great day. Maybe I'll just let him think I'm struggling with belief for now. No need to tell him that I actually don't believe at all. Ugh
Tell him or not, your decision. We got your back here. You know how to reach me if you ever need to talk about it!
Thief and assassin for hire. Member in good standing of the Rogues Guild.
Posts: 2471
Threads: 21
Joined: December 7, 2013
Reputation:
43
RE: My Christian Uncle
July 24, 2014 at 4:22 pm
(July 23, 2014 at 1:47 pm)Losty Wrote: That little lightning strike next to the battery signifies that my phone is connected to the charger :p Yeah, I know you said your phone is charging and all... BUT! It's still showing 19%
(July 23, 2014 at 1:21 pm)Losty Wrote:
Posts: 1057
Threads: 45
Joined: July 17, 2014
Reputation:
12
RE: My Christian Uncle
July 24, 2014 at 8:25 pm
(July 24, 2014 at 4:15 pm)GalacticBusDriver Wrote: (July 23, 2014 at 1:38 pm)Losty Wrote: I'm just afraid to tell him that. I mean, I just don't want to lose that one last piece of family that I can look up to, even if it's just an illusion.
Bah today is just not a great day. Maybe I'll just let him think I'm struggling with belief for now. No need to tell him that I actually don't believe at all. Ugh
Tell him or not, your decision. We got your back here. You know how to reach me if you ever need to talk about it!
I know how hard it is to come out to family, even though my family was entirely supportive. Take ALL the time you need and don't hesitate to PM me (or any of us, I would hope, although I don't claim to speak for anyone else.)
Luke: You don't believe in the Force, do you?
Han Solo: Kid, I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other, and I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen *anything* to make me believe that there's one all-powerful Force controlling everything. 'Cause no mystical energy field controls *my* destiny. It's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.
|