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RE: Mother wants to start going to church...
August 9, 2014 at 9:52 am
Mourning and healing over a lost loved one will take time.
As long as you are there for each other to comfort and talk about everything, nothing external is really that important. Forget, the church and other strangers, they mean nothing! Healing happens internally.
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: Mother wants to start going to church...
August 9, 2014 at 9:57 am
(This post was last modified: August 9, 2014 at 9:57 am by Dystopia.)
If your mother wants to go, let her, but you can refuse since you're a grown up, just say 'Hey I'm not going, I'm not religious, I don't believe in god'
I'm sorry for your lost, It'll heal 
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RE: Mother wants to start going to church...
August 9, 2014 at 10:40 am
(This post was last modified: August 9, 2014 at 10:40 am by SteelCurtain.)
Psychoslice, he has just as much right to grieve as she does, and his 14 y.o. brother, to me, is the one that has to receive the most consideration in this situation. I would go into protect mode as well, were it my little brother.
My deepest condolences on the loss of your father, NemesisPrime.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great
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RE: Mother wants to start going to church...
August 9, 2014 at 10:44 am
(August 9, 2014 at 10:40 am)SteelCurtain Wrote: Psychoslice, he has just as much right to grieve as she does, and his 14 y.o. brother, to me, is the one that has to receive the most consideration in this situation. I would go into protect mode as well, were it my little brother.
My deepest condolences on the loss of your father, NemesisPrime.
By protect mode you mean not letting him frequenting churches? That'd be great, but the OP doesn't sound like the tutor
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you
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RE: Mother wants to start going to church...
August 9, 2014 at 10:51 am
(This post was last modified: August 9, 2014 at 10:55 am by SteelCurtain.)
(August 9, 2014 at 10:44 am)Blackout Wrote: By protect mode you mean not letting him frequenting churches? That'd be great, but the OP doesn't sound like the tutor
If the kid decides he wants to go to church, I would let him. But I won't let the church and their grubby, predatory paws take advantage of his grief state.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great
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RE: Mother wants to start going to church...
August 9, 2014 at 1:01 pm
I'm sorry for your loss, Nemesis. Welcome to AF
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.
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RE: Mother wants to start going to church...
August 9, 2014 at 2:57 pm
Sorry to hear about your Dad :*(
Why don't you ask if you can take your mother out to lunch after she goes? Pick her up from the church?
Also.. Let your little brother choose as he wishes.. that's sort of between him and his mum. Since I'm assuming he still lives with her? If he says he's not going, that's his right. It's also her right to ground him or whatever.
Lastly, if put in this situation myself.. I would go. I know.. But I would. If only to support her and make sure she's not alone with wolves.
If I were to create self aware beings knowing fully what they would do in their lifetimes, I sure wouldn't create a HELL for the majority of them to live in infinitely! That's not Love, that's sadistic. Therefore a truly loving god does not exist!
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RE: Mother wants to start going to church...
August 9, 2014 at 3:02 pm
(August 9, 2014 at 1:29 am)NemesisPrime Wrote: Now this pisses me off for a number of reasons first of which being he's taking advantage of my mother while still in a delicate state of mind. He may be trying to help in the only way his programming allows - which sadly, in pastors, often includes manipulative, well-timed attacks.
(August 9, 2014 at 1:29 am)NemesisPrime Wrote: So my question is what do we do about it? I want to respect her wishes if it helps get over her grief but that's not how we do things. Love your mother. Watch the pastor like a hawk. Be fearless.
I'm sad for your loss 
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RE: Mother wants to start going to church...
August 9, 2014 at 3:17 pm
(August 9, 2014 at 1:29 am)NemesisPrime Wrote: First off I want to just stop for a sec and say hi! Just been been for a bit and I can tell I'm gonna like it here.
Onto the topic, my father passed away this Sunday and the pastor as the funeral all but demanded my family start going to his church cause we didn't have a "church family". Now this pisses me off for a number of reasons first of which being he's taking advantage of my mother while still in a delicate state of mind. Second he was my high school principal but that's not important.
See, me and my youngest brother are atheists and we've since disillusioned ourselves of the dogma that is Christianity and frankly we have no desire to go back to such a way of things and feel we can heal WITHOUT it.
So my question is what do we do about it? I want to respect her wishes if it helps get over her grief but that's not how we do things.
PS. For the record I'm 23 and my brother is 14.
NP, yes the pastor was a right bastard to use a funeral to attempt to make converts. However, they do it all the time.
Of course you can heal without the eber-lubbin arms o' jeebus wrapped around you. I did when mom passed (and did a better job of it than my christer brothers).
If your mom wants to visit the church a couple times to help with the grief, then go. Be with her and help support her. If she wants to make a lifestyle change, sit her down and explain why you're not interested in attending church, any church.
(August 9, 2014 at 1:35 am)psychoslice Wrote: Easy, respect whatever your mother wants to be, religion may be wrong in your eye's but it has helped many people through trying times. You have no right to force your beliefs on anyone, this is nothing shorty of being arrogant, yes keep you own beliefs to yourself. [emphasis is mine]
Fucking hypocrite
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RE: Mother wants to start going to church...
August 9, 2014 at 5:13 pm
(This post was last modified: August 9, 2014 at 5:19 pm by psychoslice.)
(August 9, 2014 at 9:21 am)Napoléon Wrote: (August 9, 2014 at 2:05 am)psychoslice Wrote: My god your father just passed away, for heaven sake leave you mother alone in this crises, let her be happy, even if you got to pretend.
That doesn't mean he should let a priest take advantage of his mother's grief.
I have known many priest and not one would ever dreamed of taking advantage of anyone, the love and fellowship in the church could help her a lot.
(August 9, 2014 at 10:40 am)SteelCurtain Wrote: Psychoslice, he has just as much right to grieve as she does, and his 14 y.o. brother, to me, is the one that has to receive the most consideration in this situation. I would go into protect mode as well, were it my little brother.
My deepest condolences on the loss of your father, NemesisPrime.
And what are you going to offer, just tell him its only chemicals in the brain ?.
GalacticBusDriver, don't be silly.
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