Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
January 26, 2010 at 5:19 pm (This post was last modified: January 26, 2010 at 5:23 pm by Violet.)
(January 26, 2010 at 5:11 pm)leo-rcc Wrote:
(January 26, 2010 at 4:13 pm)Saerules Wrote: Though as I am not a guy, i cannot be "a guy (note the bold from before and now?) who wants (see borderline-mild 'need') to be a girl".
Simply put: I am a girl who needs to be a girl.
I know what you mean, it is a problem my ex-girlfriend (who is a transgender as well) and plenty of her friends had to contend with as well. It is however fair to note that we as human beings have little else then the exterior to go on, specially before one gets to know one in depth.
Certainly I think that this video illustrates my difficulties with legally beginning transition (thus being recognizable on sight as female):
(Illustrating how one can be fixated on who they believe me to be, and how this while perhaps not obvious is ultimately inaccurate :S) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oa_3HC8vdQ
(January 26, 2010 at 2:56 pm)Saerules Wrote: There are always people that assume it means I am "a guy who wants to be a girl"... and certainly I don't have to tell anyone how insulting and annoying that is?
Technically, that statement is correct, as in stating your perceived physical being and correlating it with the assumed appropriate form and setting that as a goal. Categorization strikes again!
Of course, people use 'want' in a variety of contexts, wherein tone can add disapproval or the opposite.
True, want can be used in several fashions. Though as I am not a guy, i cannot be "a guy (note the bold from before and now?) who wants (see borderline-mild 'need') to be a girl".
Simply put: I am a girl who needs to be a girl.
I thought you are biologically male, hence what you 'are' in the physical sense is dictated by that. I interpreted the 'want' as a desire, and as all desires have varying degrees of need; I did not assign a value to your desires as it is for you to communicate them. I did consider the use of 'want' to mean different things, but at the bare bones minimum, where I hope you'd have noticed that I live there, 'want' is a longing for, a desire, by definitions.
My earlier statement stands by the physical sense, as I intended.
I've heard of parenting trends which don't impose any gender rules onto kids and instead allow them to decide when they get to puberty. Apparently biological mix ups happen more often than we hear about.
Coming soon: Banner image-link to new anti-islam forum.
January 26, 2010 at 6:33 pm (This post was last modified: January 26, 2010 at 6:39 pm by Violet.)
syna Wrote:I thought you are biologically male, hence what you 'are' in the physical sense is dictated by that. I interpreted the 'want' as a desire, and as all desires have varying degrees of need; I did not assign a value to your desires as it is for you to communicate them. I did consider the use of 'want' to mean different things, but at the bare bones minimum, where I hope you'd have noticed that I live there, 'want' is a longing for, a desire, by definitions.
My earlier statement stands by the physical sense, as I intended.
Thank you for clarifying further about yourself.
My body is biologically male... but i am not.
Just as a person in a nation is not that nation... I am a person that is not the body I am confined within. Hence if someone tells me "You are male", they are inaccurate. They have defined my body... but they have failed to define me. A statement such as 'you smell bad' is easy enough to interpret as 'your body smells bad', but it is inaccurate unless I am my body... which is no different than suggesting that I am my possessions, my nation, my friends, or anything i can think of that is separate from my identity.
Although i recognize what you mean by "You are biologically male"... i nonetheless have to disagree because I am not my body, and am in fact female (see self identity and identity in general ).
(January 26, 2010 at 6:33 pm)TruthWorthy Wrote: I've heard of parenting trends which don't impose any gender rules onto kids and instead allow them to decide when they get to puberty. Apparently biological mix ups happen more often than we hear about.
And i have never heard of such a method of parenting... a link regarding it please?
I thought you are biologically male, hence what you 'are' in the physical sense is dictated by that. I interpreted the 'want' as a desire, and as all desires have varying degrees of need; I did not assign a value to your desires as it is for you to communicate them. I did consider the use of 'want' to mean different things, but at the bare bones minimum, where I hope you'd have noticed that I live there, 'want' is a longing for, a desire, by definitions.
My earlier statement stands by the physical sense, as I intended.
Thank you for clarifying further about yourself.
My body is biologically male... but i am not.
Just as a person in a nation is not that nation... I am a person that is not the body I am confined within. Hence if someone tells me "You are male", they are inaccurate. They have defined my body... but they have failed to define me. A statement such as 'you smell bad' is easy enough to interpret as 'your body smells bad', but it is inaccurate unless I am my body... which is no different than suggesting that I am my possessions, my nation, my friends, or anything i can think of.
Although i recognize what you mean by "You are biologically male"... i nonetheless have to disagree because I am not my body, and am in fact female (see self identity and identity in general ).
True, but you are failing to consider the implied target in the statement of "You smell bad" as "you" is reassigned to "your body".
And a person is the collection of their experiences, like the character of a nation is the collection of all of it's people, using your examples of course. So as a national character is the set of all people within it, it is logical that certain characteristics of that nation are also, to varying degrees, part of individuals. Hence when a nation indulges in an unjust war, for example, no one person has all the blame, but all are guilty to varying degrees, as they are the ones who contribute to, and by extension, are the "nation".
January 26, 2010 at 7:11 pm (This post was last modified: January 26, 2010 at 7:13 pm by Violet.)
syna Wrote:True, but you are failing to consider the implied target in the statement of "You smell bad" as "you" is reassigned to "your body".
I actually did note that, but although it is colloquially implied, it remains inaccurate and with the potential of confusing the issue (that I am a girl who needs to be a girl, and my male body gets in the way of such state of being) :S
The most popular form of confusion I encounter is "So he want's to be a girl?"... but this only confuses the issue (see above)... and makes it out to being some sort of wish that I was a girl and not a man, all with the preconceived notion that I am a man (which i am not) and hence have some sort of disorder for wanting to be a woman.
Interestingly... one of the preferred insults I encountered at my secondary school was along the lines of "You look so much like a girl"... which although not entirely flattering, i continue to find rather ironic
syna Wrote:And a person is the collection of their experiences, like the character of a nation is the collection of all of it's people, using your examples of course. So as a national character is the set of all people within it, it is logical that certain characteristics of that nation are also, to varying degrees, part of individuals. Hence when a nation indulges in an unjust war, for example, no one person has all the blame, but all are guilty to varying degrees, as they are the ones who contribute to, and by extension, are the "nation".
More than that... to quote part of a paper i just wrote today for a class (convenient much? )
The more one experiences and questions, the more faceted and complex they become… sometimes so radically different from what they once were that it could be said they are an entirely different person. To illustrate this… draw a simple circle. Draw another circle next to it, but draw it imperfectly/with noise. Draw yet another circle with even more noise. Continue to draw advancements from the preceding state, and one will eventually come to the point where they absolutely cannot see many (if any) similarities between the original and the stage of observation. Hence, the original and the new must be considered separate entities.
But beyond that, i for the most part agree to what i quoted as a general rule, though i can see times when (ie: a tyranny) where it does not hold up.
(January 26, 2010 at 6:33 pm)TruthWorthy Wrote: I've heard of parenting trends which don't impose any gender rules onto kids and instead allow them to decide when they get to puberty. Apparently biological mix ups happen more often than we hear about.
And i have never heard of such a method of parenting... a link regarding it please?
Some parents actually set out from early stages of parenting to make sure their child is free to be themself. This link is about parental choices during the prepubescent stages of development.
I had really only heard by word of mouth of parents who are as holistic as this, but it must be a parenting style if it's being 'adhered' to throughout childhood!?
Coming soon: Banner image-link to new anti-islam forum.
Quote:It is part of natural human development to touch yourself, especially as a child when you're discovering your body and what feels good.
It is also part of development to shit yourself, but we are expected to learn to act a little more mature than that. Are you still a child discovering your body eilo? Again this could not be a more fallacious explanation of why masturbation is harmless and good. Thank you for sharing though.
Quote:Why is it best not getting into? Have you got some kind of notion that being transgender is "bad" for you as well?
Because I would rather not discuss my identity issues with such a rude and immature crowd. I think identity disorder is "bad for you", yes. But it does not carry fault, it is not my or SAE's fault. We did nothing wrong, but I suppose it is difficult and dangerous, so it is kind of "bad". It certainly is unpleasant.
Quote:What I think pisses people off Pippy, is that you come into these threads and act like you have a PhD is whateverthefuckwearetalkingaboutology from the university of Ijustmadeallmyfactsup (I think it's in Russia).
I am not trying to sound like I have a PhD, but only trying to share my opinion like everyone in the conversation who came before me. If I come across as full-of-myself, than I apologize and will try harder in the future.
Quote:You say you "feel deeply obliged" to inform us that pornography, of which I suspect you know little about as it is (you certainly don't know anything about video games or tv...or 9/11 for that matter), is bad for us. You do this with a tone that comes across as condescending at best.
The 'deeply obliged' thing was misunderstood. I don't mean that I have information that is perfect, and I feel the need to inform you of the right way. I meant that I am very tired of being 'the crazy guy that disagrees with everything' (you even made up an insulting award for me to win), but for porn I feel moved to add my opinion, knowing you guys will not like it. I actually know a lot about porn, unfortunately. When I was a junkie I had a very unhealthy relationship with porn. Very unhealthy. But I got over it, and have spent a lot of time chatting with porn addicts, learning about that paradigm. I also volunteer with survivors of incest abuse, that is a dark world. I feel that I also know a lot about TV and 9/11 and video games, but certainly not more than yourself (I wouldn't want to offend).
If I am sounding condescending to you, I apologize and will try harder in the future. Please bear in mind that I was responding to your charming 'who the fuck cares what you think' post.
I also have and will never go to a strip club. It would make me very uncomfortable. Is that lording over you all, or just disseminating my opinion?
I used to use the 'i think' disclaimer, but got just as much flak so cut it out in interests of time. I also used to end every post with 'this is just what I think, and I may well be wrong', remember? I could go back to that if it makes you feel better. Everything I say (everything) is prefaced by "i think" and suffixed by "but I might be wrong". If it will make you feel less disrespected I will go back to writing it out every sentence.
Quote:Repeated exposure to the sun can burn my skin really badly.
That is like 'video games are water' thing. I am king of terrible similes and analogies, and feel this one is pretty high up there. The sun is necessary and external to human society. Porn is unnecessary and internal. Please don't compare the two as some kind of valid metaphor.
*This is just what I think, and we all know what you think of me. I may well be wrong. Thank you for taking your valuable time to read this paragraph*
Thank you for allowing me to try to clear this up. I know I can be scathing, and also a little scatter-brained. I am only giving salt for salt though, i n my opinion. If you are curt or disrespectful towards me, than I snap back. But I really do respect your guys take on things, and appreciate you existence.
I think that this video illustrates my difficulties with legally beginning transition (thus being recognizable on sight as female):
