Fixing the bible

[pocaracas]

So, while waiting for my super-delayed flight in Heathrow, I got to watching a series I have on my hard-drive: Firefly.

Then this scene comes up and I just crack up. I was laughing hard after River's first sentence!

I can't/don't know how to embed this video here, and it's not on youtube (copyright issues, no doubt), so I'm just linking it and posting the transcript:

http://www.scifixtreme.com/media_center/...roken.html

Book: What are we up to, sweetheart?

River: Fixing your Bible.

Book: I, um…
[alarmed]
Book: What?

River: Bible’s broken. Contradictions, false logistics – doesn’t make sense.

[she's marked up the bible, crossed out passages and torn out pages]
Book: No, no. You-you-you can’t…

River: So we’ll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God’s creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah’s ark is a problem.

Book: Really?

River: We’ll have to call it early quantum state phenomenon. Only way to fit 5000 species of mammal on the same boat.
[rips out page]

Book: River, you don’t fix the Bible.

River: It’s broken. It doesn’t make sense.

Book: It’s not about making sense. It’s about believing in something, and letting that belief be real enough to change your life. It’s about faith. You don’t fix faith, River. It fixes you.

Enjoy!

[Chad32]

I've never watched Firefly. That was an interesting scene.

[Minimalist]

Don't fix it - burn it.

[Chad32]

We did have one president that attempted to fix the bible by removing the magic parts and just keeping some good parts in. Honestly it's probably too broken to properly fix.

[pocaracas]

We did have one president that attempted to fix the bible by removing the magic parts and just keeping some good parts in. Honestly it's probably too broken to properly fix.

Hey... I remember that guy...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jefferson_Bible

[Chad32]

I can't imagine anyone doing something like that today.

[pocaracas]

I can't imagine anyone doing something like that today.

Just imagine it... the ruler of Qatar, rewriting the Qur'an to remove all redundancy and super-natural events...
What's the worse that can happen?

[Chad32]

To quote Guy from The Croods: I don't want to sound alarmist, but AAAGH! AAAGH!

[vorlon13]

Jefferson was just honest about his editing effort.

Compare and contrast to today's cafeteria Christian's, hunting and picking the Scriptures they will comport to, the ones they think believers and non-believers alike should be subject to by force of law, and the ones they will studiously ignore.

[JesusHChrist]

We did have one president that attempted to fix the bible by removing the magic parts and just keeping some good parts in. Honestly it's probably too broken to properly fix.

After he was done, there wasn't much left.

I believe they called it a "slim" volume.

lol.