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Need Advice w/ Christian Friend
#1
Need Advice w/ Christian Friend
So, this is a series of events that happened today.

- Guy from my drama class starts asking me questions about atheism. Let's call him Ralph.
He's not in any way religious, just curious about arguments for atheism. I have a reputation for being familiar with most of said arguments, as well as their pro theist counterparts.

- At the end, he jokingly asks about pascal's wager. He's not serious at all, so I say "god dammit Ralph". The bell rings and I got to French class.

- Later, I'm talking to another friend (let's call her Lisa) about something unrelated. She happens to be Christian, but she doesn't know that I'm an atheist. We're pretty good friends, but I wouldn't trust her to have a good reaction to me coming out.

-Ralph see me and walks over. He asks "how come you said god dammit if god doesn't exist?"
She looks over at him, clearly very offended, saying something along the lines of "don't you know I'm Christian? Th--that's terrible".
She looks over at me, expecting me to back her up. I remain silent. After a few moments, she asks "you believe in god, don't you?"
I tell her the truth and try to explain that I'm still the same person, etc.
She's not willing to hear any of it. She runs away, clearly deeply offended.

I'm not going back to school until Monday. I really need some advice with this, as she was quite a good friend. Is there any chance of her coming to terms?

Thanks.
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#2
RE: Need Advice w/ Christian Friend
From personal experience with theists of her caliber, it is probably best to leave her be.

Either she will come to terms with it on her own and remain your friend or she will not come to terms with it.

Be prepared, however, for the possibility of her using the friendship card to attempt to convert you to her way of thinking, but I doubt you are gullible enough to fall for that tactic. Therefore, also be prepared for some ugliness when she realizes that she is not going to make any progress with you the way she had hoped.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
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#3
RE: Need Advice w/ Christian Friend
Yeah, I'm fairly certain I won't be converted. Hopefully this ends up all right, but right now it's pretty messy.
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#4
RE: Need Advice w/ Christian Friend
I am afraid that's how it is... i mean your going to be shunned and she may try to convert you or guilt you into believing so you can stay her friend. its the whole theist mindset if they do not believe in god leave them alone or guilt them into believing or get them when they are most vulnerable. I hate to say it but that's how it is. if she is a true friend she will come to terms and look past that i mean were only human but we let to many things like race, religion, culture divide us way to much.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization join today. 


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#5
RE: Need Advice w/ Christian Friend
I agree, let her go and think it over. If she is a good friend, she will care about you enough to come back to discuss it at least. I'm not saying ignore her, but I would say not to bring it up again until she feels ready to raise the subject. If she chooses to ignore you, that is very sad but it's her loss.

I think the most important thing is to let actions speak loudest, and show by example that atheists are decent people and not the spawn of Satan that we are made out to be by religious preachers.

I hope your friend does come around.
Feel free to send me a private message.
Please visit my website here! It's got lots of information about atheism/theism and support for new atheists.

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#6
RE: Need Advice w/ Christian Friend
(January 16, 2015 at 10:47 pm)DeadChannel Wrote: So, this is a series of events that happened today.

- Guy from my drama class starts asking me questions about atheism. Let's call him Ralph.
He's not in any way religious, just curious about arguments for atheism. I have a reputation for being familiar with most of said arguments, as well as their pro theist counterparts.

- At the end, he jokingly asks about pascal's wager. He's not serious at all, so I say "god dammit Ralph". The bell rings and I got to French class.

- Later, I'm talking to another friend (let's call her Lisa) about something unrelated. She happens to be Christian, but she doesn't know that I'm an atheist. We're pretty good friends, but I wouldn't trust her to have a good reaction to me coming out.

-Ralph see me and walks over. He asks "how come you said god dammit if god doesn't exist?"
She looks over at him, clearly very offended, saying something along the lines of "don't you know I'm Christian? Th--that's terrible".
She looks over at me, expecting me to back her up. I remain silent. After a few moments, she asks "you believe in god, don't you?"
I tell her the truth and try to explain that I'm still the same person, etc.
She's not willing to hear any of it. She runs away, clearly deeply offended.

I'm not going back to school until Monday. I really need some advice with this, as she was quite a good friend. Is there any chance of her coming to terms?

Thanks.

Nope, is not just a name of a member here. It is the answer to your question.
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#7
RE: Need Advice w/ Christian Friend
Don't friends accept each other for who they are? Otherwise, why be friends at all if you're going to have beef with who they are?
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it" ~ Aristotle
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#8
RE: Need Advice w/ Christian Friend
(January 17, 2015 at 2:20 am)FallentoReason Wrote: Don't friends accept each other for who they are? Otherwise, why be friends at all if you're going to have beef with who they are?

Exactly.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization join today. 


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#9
RE: Need Advice w/ Christian Friend
(January 17, 2015 at 2:20 am)FallentoReason Wrote: Don't friends accept each other for who they are? Otherwise, why be friends at all if you're going to have beef with who they are?

Nope. Not if one lies about himself.
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#10
RE: Need Advice w/ Christian Friend
(January 16, 2015 at 10:47 pm)DeadChannel Wrote: She's not willing to hear any of it. She runs away, clearly deeply offended.

Fuck her. How good of a friend could she have been if you are treated in such a manner for simply admitting you are incapable of belief in something unsubstantiated? This of course does not include the baggage she brings to the relationship by her tacit approval of what the civilized world considers violations of human rights.

There are over 7 billion souls on this orb. Unless you have children together, cast her off as dead weight as she has already done with you. You will make new friends. Endeavor to cultivate relationships that won't fracture at the mear suggestion of an unshared god. She's not worth the bother.
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