Creed's Corner: A Collection of the Morbid, Mysterious, and Mrandom

[rexbeccarox]

I actually find men with a *look* way more attractive than your average clean-cut (read: boring) guy.  

Creed, I don't have much to say (I'm not exactly a picture of good mental health myself), but you are smart, creative, sensitive, and beautiful.  It probably doesn't help much, but it needed to be said

[Kitty Galore]

I am now convinced there is time travel. It is completely clear that Alpha Male is visiting us from 1953.

[Creed of Heresy]

I actually find men with a *look* way more attractive than your average clean-cut (read: boring) guy.  

Creed, I don't have much to say (I'm not exactly a picture of good mental health myself), but you are smart, creative, sensitive, and beautiful.  It probably doesn't help much, but it needed to be said

Stoppit, you're makin' me blush.  :>

---

And as we're on quality of advice - all you suggested was that he sponge off other people and put more time into himself. Wow. Brilliant.

He suggested I find financial support so I could try to find some time to get my head straight.  Getting one's head straight is rather hard to do when all you otherwise have time for is working, and believe me when I say driving a cab doesn't allow much time for introspection.

At any rate, what I REALLY need is dialectical behavioral therapy.

Also, I'm part of a counter-culture because the counter-culture is where I feel the most comfortable and accepted.

[John V]

He suggested I find financial support so I could try to find some time to get my head straight.  Getting one's head straight is rather hard to do when all you otherwise have time for is working, and believe me when I say driving a cab doesn't allow much time for introspection.

At any rate, what I REALLY need is dialectical behavioral therapy.

Form what I've read I agree. I'm a little confused because you earlier said that you weren't interested in therapy and had made up your mind that the odds of success were so small that you couldn't be bothered.

Also, I'm part of a counter-culture because the counter-culture is where I feel the most comfortable and accepted.

That's kind of circular. If you actually become part of any culture, you feel comfortable in that culture. The question then is: are some cultures more likely than others to help me reach my goals?

[Creed of Heresy]

It's less that I'm not interested, and more that I'm not optimistic about the odds of it achieving any kind of success. My chances of remission are very low, and after a behavioral remission, my chances of slipping into a relapse are very high. Hard to want to do something if you know beforehand that all your effort has a high chance of being a colossal waste of time and resources.

Still. I don't see any real alternative.

As far as the counter-culture thing goes, the answer is yes. The goth scene is, however, not as dreary as you might think. First and foremost it's a scene based off of a musical genre, and tends to extend into other musical genres. The aesthetic part is a secondary part of it, and isn't based off of mood or personality as much as a fashion preference that tends to associate with the scene and genres. The attitude part is a stereotype that typically only extends to the moody, angsty high-schoolers. If you want an example of why the perception of goths as being all a bunch of whining mopers as a result of the CC itself is a load of bullshit, look up Aurelio Voltaire. He's a popular musician in the gothic CC, and is known for his up-beat, cheerful personality, despite being madly in love with the CC to the fullest extent.

The goth CC is about acceptance. The motifs of death and darkness, gloom-n-doom are not meant to evoke sadness or glorify unhappiness; they're meant to evoke the acceptance of the inevitable; pain, conflict, death. Things that everyone will have to go through to some extent, save for the latter in which everyone will have to experience to the fullest extent. It's about accepting these things, about rejecting the fear of them.

"We destroy our enemies when we make peace with them."

[John V]

It's less that I'm not interested, and more that I'm not optimistic about the odds of it achieving any kind of success.  My chances of remission are very low, and after a behavioral remission, my chances of slipping into a relapse are very high.  Hard to want to do something if you know beforehand that all your effort has a high chance of being a colossal waste of time and resources.

Still.  I don't see any real alternative.

For BPD that does seem to be the best hope.

As to odds - so what? A 70% chance something won't work is a 30% chance that it will work. If you're as miserable as you indicate in some of your posts, any chance at happiness is worth pursuing.

This seems particularly true from an atheist perspective. I have the hope of eternal life, so my lost years don't bother me. If you think this one life is all you get, you should be highly motivated to make the most of it.

As far as the counter-culture thing goes, the answer is yes.  The goth scene is, however, not as dreary as you might think.  First and foremost it's a scene based off of a musical genre, and tends to extend into other musical genres.  The aesthetic part is a secondary part of it, and isn't based off of mood or personality as much as a fashion preference that tends to associate with the scene and genres.  The attitude part is a stereotype that typically only extends to the moody, angsty high-schoolers.  If you want an example of why the perception of goths as being all a bunch of whining mopers as a result of the CC itself is a load of bullshit, look up Aurelio Voltaire.  He's a popular musician in the gothic CC, and is known for his up-beat, cheerful personality, despite being madly in love with the CC to the fullest extent.

The goth CC is about acceptance.  The motifs of death and darkness, gloom-n-doom are not meant to evoke sadness or glorify unhappiness; they're meant to evoke the acceptance of the inevitable; pain, conflict, death.  Things that everyone will have to go through to some extent, save for the latter in which everyone will have to experience to the fullest extent.  It's about accepting these things, about rejecting the fear of them.

"We destroy our enemies when we make peace with them."

That's good to hear. Still though, if you desire a relationship with a woman, you're limiting the pool of possibilities with the goth look, as some people are turned off by it. And as goth's are about acceptance, they'd still accept you without the look. Just a thought.

[Creed of Heresy]

I don't seem to hurt much for being found attractive. I'm not exactly looking for someone to fuck, just someone to connect with. If a girl looks at me and goes "he dresses like a freak!" then why the hell would I wanna be with such a judgmental cow?

I'm not a shallow person. I don't wanna be with a shallow woman. Maybe I'm the bizarre exception to the social norm, but I'd rather be with someone who is a physical 5 and a personality 10 than someone who is a personality 1 and a physical 10. I don't say that out of hyberbole, either. I'm not exactly a meet-n-fuck sort of guy. Casual sex doesn't do it for me. Gotta be some connection, something more than just pure physical attraction. Otherwise...it just doesn't do it for me.

[Norman Humann]

I hear you on that, Creed. I used to have a crush on this one guy. Really good-looking. I liked him... but then I heard him open his mouth a couple of times. Can't stand to look at him now. Such a self-centered asshole. Attractiveness is secondary. I don't mind looks if I like the personality. And if the personality's weak, looks won't make up for that on my book.

[Faith No More]

Huh. You said that my suggestions were good. You just complained that I don't word it like a pussy.

Creed himself said that he's tried the things I suggested. He didn't do so because they're stupid and irrelevant.

Your suggestions were good only when you attempted to rephrase them to me.  The initial way you worded them made them irrelevant and archaic.  This is what I was talking about with phrasing.

And as we're on quality of advice - all you suggested was that he sponge off other people and put more time into himself. Wow. Brilliant.

No, fuckhead, I asked if he had any financial support, because just like people need help to recuperate after breaking a leg, people need help to cope with their psychological issues.  If you've paid any attention to what Creed has said in his time here, it's clear that his relationship issues are a result of past trauma, and those are deep and complex issues that need to be strongly focused on through therapy, which can be difficult to do if one is completely reliant upon themselves financially.  I just don't understand how you can be such a stubbornly vile asshole with your advice when you fail to really understand what is going on.

When a 27-year-old dope smoker in a counter culture complains that he feels lost and isn't getting anywhere, it's quite logical to suggest that he abandon the counter culture and quit smoking dope. (I didn't mention the dope because I've gotten into that with him before and I know his mind is closed to the suggestion.) It's not like he's a happy, well-adjusted goth doper and I butted in with a 1950s world view.

Fail once again.  The dope smoking and the counter culture are symptoms of the problems, not the problems themselves.  You're essentially telling him to put a band-aid on a bullet wound and be done with it.  Creed needs therapy and treatment, not superficial clothing and hairstyle changes.

But instead of bitching about me (you're just fueling the fire you know), why don't you make some concrete suggestions on how he can rebuild himself?

Because I realize that I'm not qualified to say what Creed should do beyond helping him get into some treatment, and of course, when I did make a suggestion along that line, you shit on it.  That's why we're stuck at this point of having to argue about how fucking stupid you are for opening your mouth.

[Creed of Heresy]

Someone has made me cautiously optimistic that maybe I don't have to look any further.

Time will tell, but...I feel calm, now. Relaxed.