Menstruation, Turtles and Pigeons

[vorlon13]

I suppose.

What's a turtle dove, by the way ?

And shouldn't there be 2 ??

[TubbyTubby]

It's actually referring to pigeons or "turtle doves", not turtles. You'll see that in the newer translations. Either they were raised and sold commercially or there was always a bunch of Israelites running around with nets trying to catch them. God probably picked those birds to relieve the Israeliltes of all the pigeon poop all over everything. I hate pigeons.

Of course, it all makes sense. The creator of billions of galaxies realises he made a bit of an error with the female menstrual cycle here on Earth so as a remedy, introduces a sacrifice of pigeons which makes it all good again.

When you look at it like this it makes you wonder why anyone is atheist at all eh?

[emilynghiem]

Leviticus 15:29 KJV

"And on the eighth day she shall take unto her two turtles, or two young pigeons, and bring them unto the priest, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation."

Been discussing this particular bible bull with a colleague recently. How was this chapter supposed to apply in real life, when it mentions 'a woman' does that mean every woman or just a select few. Ignoring the overall sheer stupidity of the chapter, I was curious if they had mass turtle and pigeon breeding facilities just to keep up with the priests sacrificial requirement?

And what is the relevance of turtles and pigeons? Did they have loads of pigeons but then after realising they were running out, pick another creature at random. "What about them turtles, shall we use them?", "Yeh why not, no fucking use for anything else".

It really makes you wonder how the book writers originally came up with these fucked up ideas.

Perhaps Drich and GC can shed some light.

Dear TubbyTubby
my understanding of why the old ways of doing things are in the Bible
is to show the progression. The NT is about living by the spirit of the laws,
where the "sacrifices" made are NOT like these old ways. The sacrifice of Christ
represents forgiveness and restoration (one person here refers to redemption),
and followers are called to make those kind of sacrifices instead.
When someone asks for you to walk a few miles with them, you walk 14.

Most Christians will tell you the point is that instead of ritual sacrifices,
which didn't cleanse the cause of sins and suffering in man,
the point of the Bible is the spiritual sacrifice to atone for and resolve
the spiritual causes of sin and suffering, to bring healing and an end to strife.

None of these rituals worked.

[robvalue]

Yeah. It's still really dumb no matter how you try and spin it. This is primitive man doing ridiculous stuff like sacrifices, thinking it actually achieves something. It's more good reason to believe it's entirely a reflection of society at that time and nothing more. Except all the edits and forgeries, of course.

[Angrboda]

There's a number of verses where it says "if he be poor" he can substitute pigeons as an offering for other offerings. Apparently pigeons are the White Castle of sin expiation.

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No way. To what sort of extent are we talking here? Not pigeon sacrifice after every period I hope or are we just talking good harmless female segregation during dirty week?

Probably not, except for a few hardcore nuts.

http://www.jewfaq.org/qorbanot.htm

Modern orthodox Jews have a lot of "workarounds" to make following ancient commandments more convenient. For example:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shabbat_elevator

[h4ym4n]

It's actually referring to pigeons or "turtle doves", not turtles. You'll see that in the newer translations. Either they were raised and sold commercially or there was always a bunch of Israelites running around with nets trying to catch them. God probably picked those birds to relieve the Israeliltes of all the pigeon poop all over everything. I hate pigeons.

Once again, god creates a problem and has a cure for it.

---

[vorlon13]

And menstruation leads to neat little gems like this from the book of Isaiah:

And we are all become as one unclean, and all our justices as the rag of a menstruous woman: and we have all fallen as a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.


Had to hunt, not every bible version has the poetic lilt of the Rheims Douay

[Homeless Nutter]

[...] God probably picked those birds to relieve the Israeliltes of all the pigeon poop all over everything. I hate pigeons.

Once again, god creates a problem and has a cure for it.

It's a shame he didn't make similar arrangements to deal with real infestations, like rats and cockroaches.
Of course, it's not difficult to explain why - because priests didn't want to eat rats and roaches, but they quite fancied a pigeon once in a while...