Help me do the comma

[downbeatplumb]

I suck at grammar, sadly. I'm pretty much as far away from being educated in grammar as possible. I got a 65% average in high-school by stealing peoples binders and photocopying that semesters work. I don't know how I passed English. Anywho.. how do commas work properly? I just throw them between things sometimes.. other times I just ramble and try not to do one of them run-on sentences.

I,just throw them, in randomly and, hope it makes sense!

[Jackalope]

What's the general AF consensus on semicolons? Love 'em? Hate 'em? Other?

I think they're highly underrated.

Love them; therefore, use them more.

[Pyrrho]

Ben Davis,
do I have to do both 1.) and 2.) in order to be consistent? In my above sentence, putting them before and after the "and" as in
"has a nice flow to it, and, more importantly, that ..."
looks excessive to me
...

It isn't excessive.  However, it is optional, as Ben Davis stated.

If you have the comma before the word "and," it emphasizes that the second conjunct of the conjunction is an added afterthought.  To make it seem more like an afterthought, sometimes people put a period and start the next sentence with the word "And."  (Although some people have been told that it is wrong to start a sentence with the word "And," it isn't.  Just do an online search and you should find information about this on reputable sites.)

Since it is optional, you are not wrong to leave it off.  So you are going to have to do something else to try to convince us that you are not really a native speaker of English.  Your grammar and word usage are such that one would guess you to be a well-educated native speaker.

[Longhorn]

What's the general AF consensus on semicolons? Love 'em? Hate 'em? Other?

I think they're highly underrated.

they're just dots in disguise, don't trust them

[Alex K]

Ben Davis,
do I have to do both 1.) and 2.) in order to be consistent? In my above sentence, putting them before and after the "and" as in
"has a nice flow to it, and, more importantly, that ..."
looks excessive to me
...

It isn't excessive.  However, it is optional, as Ben Davis stated.

I get that it is optional, I just wasn't sure whether the options are: do both 1. and 2. or neither, or whether I can pick and choose.

sometimes people put a period and start the next sentence with the word "And."

I did that in my first post here because SP told me that it was ok.

Since it is optional, you are not wrong to leave it off.  So you are going to have to do something else to try to convince us that you are not really a native speaker of English.  Your grammar and word usage are such that one would guess you to be a well-educated native speaker.

Yes, yes, enough with the flattery already

[Longhorn]

Alex is totes a Brit and just pretending to get the props, I called it first

[Alex K]

Commas, are, our, friends, I, love, commas!!

(Kiefer Sutherland talked like that in Dark City, BTW)

Wasn't he playing an evil German crypto-Nazi doctor in that one? That, would, explain, it.

[Angrboda]

My mother loved semicolons. She'd insert them instead of commas for added effect.

[Alex K]

But back on topic: is there an official authority on English or AE grammar where one would find these things?

[Angrboda]

Screw it.  Just don't use commas.  It won't matter unless it's something formal -- people will mentally insert the commas as necessary.  When in doubt, do without.

Let's eat, grandma!
Let's eat grandma!

Ummm.....

Yeah yeah.  That's my position and I'm sticking to it.