Would you be flattered if a gay person said they fancied you?

[Minimalist]

Maybe if they were two hot lesbians who wanted some help with men...............

[Jenny A]

It's been so long since I've heard lesbians referred to as gay that my first thought was that if a gay man fancies this middle aged woman than there must be something in the water.

I have been both complimented and hit on by lesbians but I was 20 years younger and so were they. The first was flattering and fine. The second pushed a little and when I added that besides being straight I was married she suggested lesbian sex didn't count. That struck me as wrong on so many levels it was hard to begin. Wrong because all sex outside of marriage is sex outside of marriage. Wrong because female sex counts every bit as much as any other kind of sex. How could you possibly say "my kind of sex doesn't matter." Wrong because if you don't care if I'm married, and you don't think it matters, perhaps you don't think I matter. And so on.

[Whateverist]

Would you be flattered if a gay person said they fancied you?

Hell yeah! Lesbians are hot and so are their friends.

[SteelCurtain]

It's been so long since I've heard lesbians referred to as gay that my first thought was that if a gay man fancies this middle aged woman than there must be something in the water.

I have been both complimented and hit on by lesbians but I was 20 years younger and so were they. The first was flattering and fine. The second pushed a little and when I added that besides being straight I was married she suggested lesbian sex didn't count. That struck me as wrong on so many levels it was hard to begin. Wrong because all sex outside of marriage is sex outside of marriage. Wrong because female sex counts every bit as much as any other kind of sex. How could you possibly say "my kind of sex doesn't matter." Wrong because if you don't care if I'm married, and you don't think it matters, perhaps you don't think I matter. And so on.

Best not to tug at that string. That sort of banter is indicative of a 20 something's inability to empathize or see what their actions actually entail, played out. Frontal lobe adolescence, and all that.

That shit didn't compile for me until I was 23 and in an all growed up relationship and gone for 6 months in the Persian Gulf. There's a certain moment in your life when something crystallizes and you realize that shit's just not about you.

[Pyrrho]

I can't help but think that the root of the problem is religious indoctrination.  Places where the major religion has a problem with homosexuality, the people react badly to it.  But in places where the religions do not have a problem with it (like ancient Greece), people don't seem to have a problem with it.  I don't know any exceptions to this.

Now, before someone tells me about how they gave up their religion or whatever, just because one gives up one's religion, that does not mean that one has extracted all of the beliefs and attitudes that they had because of their religion.  Also, a dominant religion impacts the society as a whole, so one may be influenced by a religion without ever having been a member.  I seem to recall reading somewhere that Jews who live in countries with lots of Christians are much more likely to make a bid deal out of Hanukkah than those who live in countries without a large Christian population.  The explanation I was told was that it was a reaction to Christmas, to have a celebration at about the same time as the society as a whole.  Otherwise, Hanukkah is not one of the more important Jewish holidays.

As for homophobic people being secretly gay, that makes a lot of sense because otherwise, why care about it?  It is what impacts you that you are most likely to care deeply about.  Also, I remember reading about a study in which men were asked about their attitudes toward homosexuality, and, generally speaking, the ones who were most homophobic seemed to be gay.  Their level of gayness was determined by putting sensors on their penises and showing them gay porn.  Homophobes tend to get erections from gay porn, whereas straight guys who are not homophobes don't.

I don't know. Part of me thinks it could be to do with religious indoctrination but there is a problem with that: homosexuality is just one sin among many in the bible and in theory all sins are equal in god's eyes. So the fact that they tend to single that particular one out suggests to me that homophobia comes first and the Bible just acts as a means to 'rationalise' it. Basically it seems a chicken and egg situation but one which I think had to have some sort of catalyst outside of religion in order to take that one sin and magnify it so much.

That study you talk about is fascinating. Can't wait to tell some people  

Sexual orientation is independent of the dominant religion, but one's attitude toward sexual orientation is not.  In the case of sex, it is not something easy to ignore, which makes it very unlike mixed fabrics (though, frankly, a cotton/polyester blend shirt is an abomination).  So although sexual preference and the blending of fabrics may be "equal" in some book, they are not equal in terms of their importance to people's lives.  (Though, again, everyone should reject cotton/polyester blend shirts and pick pure cotton like all decent folk.  Your sexuality is trivial compared to this, which is what really matters.  If we are going to stone people, it should first be those who make cotton/polyester shirts, not people who are gay, who are not making the world a worse place.)

[Catholic_Lady]

I voted flattered. It's always flattering when someone else has any sort of admiration for you, regardless of their gender or orientation.

[Foxaèr]

I am gay.

[Catholic_Lady]

I'd just be wondering what they'd been smoking to like me.

Why?

[Foxaèr]

I'd just be wondering what they'd been smoking to like me.

If you were gay or I was female.  

[robvalue]

It's never happened, though. It's barely happened from straight women. I felt virtually invisible until I was about 20. I think this was largely due to my complete lack of confidence around women until then.

*Violins*

One girl did once tell me I had a nice anus. She couldn't see my anus, it was someone passing on the street. Weird.