Hi everyone!
Like many others, I wasn't always an atheist. I was raised Christian-lite; my dad talked about God and Jesus from time to time, we'd go to church when my grandma was in town or on special events (Christmas, Easter, and the like), we'd pray before dinner. My ex was super religious, so when we started dating I got really into it and became borderline fundamentalist.
When I was going to church, I never felt like it was the place for me. I would always see people raising their hands to the sky and claiming to feel the draw of God, but I never felt it. I felt like I was faking my connection with God, and I felt guilty because I thought God knew I was faking it, which made me feel like a terrible person. So I would try harder, seek out people who weren't right with God, and try to force them to see the error of their ways. I had no problem telling people they were going to hell and that the very essence of who they were was a disgusting sin, and I hate that I did those things. But, I fooled myself to thinking I was doing it out of love, when really I see now that I was doing it out of anger that I couldn't be free to be myself. Deep down, I always knew there was no one there listening to my prayers, but being from a religious family and then marrying into an even more deeply religious family, I could never let myself believe that I wasn't a part of the core of that family unit. (As a bisexual, I condemned myself a lot, too. And when I realized I was a bisexual liberal atheist living in an ultra-conservative religious family who often spoke about how the world would be cured of all problems if the LGBTQ community died off, I chose to hide it.)
But when my best friend (who was an atheist) died suddenly, I started asking the questions that I had been wanting to ask. She was a good person and loved everyone, surely she would go to heaven, right? Nope. I asked the members of my church, then started reaching out to other churches and other denominations asking if she would somehow to go heaven. All of them said no, she would burn in hell because she didn't believe in Jesus. I couldn't wrap my head around it. One person even told me that though my best friend was going to burn in hell for eternity, I shouldn't let that bother me because I was going to go to heaven. Another told me that she believed Hitler was forgiven and in heaven because he was a Christian, even though his actions were purely evil, but my friend was definitely in hell. That's when I started walking away.
Long story short... I ended up divorced (not because of religious differences), and shunned by my ex's family completely. Parts of my family have discounted me because of my atheism, a few being totally frank about how stupid they think I am because of it (even though I've got a college degree and, one in particular, didn't make it past freshman year in high school). But, as long as I don't speak of religion or my atheism, we get along well. Sure, there are definitely times when they're being particularly outspoken about their faith that I wish to speak up, but I know it would serve no point but to put distance between me and them, so I just listen and let it go. Outside of the religious arena, family life is pretty damn good actually, and I'm grateful for that.
I'm a better person now, mostly because I grew up and learned to be compassionate. Ironically, I've been called "Christ-like" thrice, all three times after embracing my atheism.
Anyway... aside from that bit of history of my beliefs, I am a writer (freelance for a living, and two published novels) who loves exploring philosophy, learning about the cosmos, and seeking out knew knowledge whenever I can. I'm definitely in touch with my inner child, and I'm pretty happy about that. When I'm not writing, you'll likely find me at art museums, science centers, gazing up at the night sky, or watching The Walking Dead. I used to work in the entertainment industry, as an actress for a while and then as a production coordinator and then as a producer, and I was pretty successful at all three. But recently, I've become quite tired of the business side of it all and am stepping out (at least for now... who knows what the future will hold). I'm still dabbling in it on the side from time to time, but only on low-budget indie stuff and not in Hollywood anymore.
I'm also studying for my certification in nutrition; I'm almost done with my certification in childhood nutrition, then I'll be working to finish earning my diploma in personal nutrition. On the side, I'm also enrolled in a stand-up comedy class that begins in two weeks (the day after my birthday) that I'm crazy-excited about.
Like many others, I wasn't always an atheist. I was raised Christian-lite; my dad talked about God and Jesus from time to time, we'd go to church when my grandma was in town or on special events (Christmas, Easter, and the like), we'd pray before dinner. My ex was super religious, so when we started dating I got really into it and became borderline fundamentalist.
When I was going to church, I never felt like it was the place for me. I would always see people raising their hands to the sky and claiming to feel the draw of God, but I never felt it. I felt like I was faking my connection with God, and I felt guilty because I thought God knew I was faking it, which made me feel like a terrible person. So I would try harder, seek out people who weren't right with God, and try to force them to see the error of their ways. I had no problem telling people they were going to hell and that the very essence of who they were was a disgusting sin, and I hate that I did those things. But, I fooled myself to thinking I was doing it out of love, when really I see now that I was doing it out of anger that I couldn't be free to be myself. Deep down, I always knew there was no one there listening to my prayers, but being from a religious family and then marrying into an even more deeply religious family, I could never let myself believe that I wasn't a part of the core of that family unit. (As a bisexual, I condemned myself a lot, too. And when I realized I was a bisexual liberal atheist living in an ultra-conservative religious family who often spoke about how the world would be cured of all problems if the LGBTQ community died off, I chose to hide it.)
But when my best friend (who was an atheist) died suddenly, I started asking the questions that I had been wanting to ask. She was a good person and loved everyone, surely she would go to heaven, right? Nope. I asked the members of my church, then started reaching out to other churches and other denominations asking if she would somehow to go heaven. All of them said no, she would burn in hell because she didn't believe in Jesus. I couldn't wrap my head around it. One person even told me that though my best friend was going to burn in hell for eternity, I shouldn't let that bother me because I was going to go to heaven. Another told me that she believed Hitler was forgiven and in heaven because he was a Christian, even though his actions were purely evil, but my friend was definitely in hell. That's when I started walking away.
Long story short... I ended up divorced (not because of religious differences), and shunned by my ex's family completely. Parts of my family have discounted me because of my atheism, a few being totally frank about how stupid they think I am because of it (even though I've got a college degree and, one in particular, didn't make it past freshman year in high school). But, as long as I don't speak of religion or my atheism, we get along well. Sure, there are definitely times when they're being particularly outspoken about their faith that I wish to speak up, but I know it would serve no point but to put distance between me and them, so I just listen and let it go. Outside of the religious arena, family life is pretty damn good actually, and I'm grateful for that.
I'm a better person now, mostly because I grew up and learned to be compassionate. Ironically, I've been called "Christ-like" thrice, all three times after embracing my atheism.
Anyway... aside from that bit of history of my beliefs, I am a writer (freelance for a living, and two published novels) who loves exploring philosophy, learning about the cosmos, and seeking out knew knowledge whenever I can. I'm definitely in touch with my inner child, and I'm pretty happy about that. When I'm not writing, you'll likely find me at art museums, science centers, gazing up at the night sky, or watching The Walking Dead. I used to work in the entertainment industry, as an actress for a while and then as a production coordinator and then as a producer, and I was pretty successful at all three. But recently, I've become quite tired of the business side of it all and am stepping out (at least for now... who knows what the future will hold). I'm still dabbling in it on the side from time to time, but only on low-budget indie stuff and not in Hollywood anymore.
I'm also studying for my certification in nutrition; I'm almost done with my certification in childhood nutrition, then I'll be working to finish earning my diploma in personal nutrition. On the side, I'm also enrolled in a stand-up comedy class that begins in two weeks (the day after my birthday) that I'm crazy-excited about.
![[Image: classic-jurassic-park_o_838976.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=img.memecdn.com%2Fclassic-jurassic-park_o_838976.jpg)
![[Image: 415d3e1c62b63db6713ef87546e9c10c.jpg]](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/41/5d/3e/415d3e1c62b63db6713ef87546e9c10c.jpg)
