Ask a fat girl

[c172]

Google BBW? It's a thing.

[BrokenQuill92]

I have a thing that isn't a question, but maybe a chance to get some advice. I like thick women, but I don't know how to go about expressing that without coming off insulting or digging in to some insecurity. My remedy has always been keeping my mouth shut or just complimenting profusely.

I often find myself in situations where a lady will say "I'm fat" or "I'm getting chubby", and I just want to be like "Hell yeah you are! Get at me woman!" But instead, I do like I said- keep quiet or just say something like "I think you're hot." Doesn't really get the point across.

It's okay to say you prefer a larger lady but don't pull a chubby chaser and get fetishy about it. It will scare most women off. Might I add just treat her like a lady.

[Exian]

See, that's exactly where the issue lies. Wait, let me pause and address the fetish thing, it's not a fetish thing. Ok, the thing about being with a woman and saying "I like a larger lady" is that its either a death sentence or incredibly insulting. I can imagine they will be like "Well, you're with me and you like a larger lady... does that mean I'm larger!?!?" Or... something like that. I don't know.

I don't think I would ever say that though, because what the fuck? When would somebody naturally say that. But I guess just the idea that the reverse could happen with a thinner woman without much repercussion.

[Losty]

See, that's exactly where the issue lies. Wait, let me pause and address the fetish thing, it's not a fetish thing. Ok, the thing about being with a woman and saying "I like a larger lady" is that its either a death sentence or incredibly insulting. I can imagine they will be like "Well, you're with me and you like a larger lady... does that mean I'm larger!?!?" Or... something like that. I don't know.

I don't think I would ever say that though, because what the fuck? When would somebody naturally say that. But I guess just the idea that the reverse could happen with a thinner woman without much repercussion.

Use the word thick. That together with being with a woman who is confident about the way she looks and you should be fine. Tell her that she's beautiful, gorgeous, sexy just the way she is.
What I always wonder about this is, if you're with a woman who is the size you like and she decides to lose weight for health reasons...would you still be attracted to her?

I find human beings to be very confusing. So many people are so particular about what they find attractive. I often find myself wondering if there's something wrong with me or if I have a chemical imbalance or something. I find almost everyone to be physically attractive enough that I would really like to have sex with them. Some are sexier than others but...intelligence and personality honestly plays a huge part in that.

[Exian]

Yeah, thick is the word I'm more comfortable with. I was just trying to use the terms that I saw being used for my second post.

And to answer your question, yes I would still find them attractive for many reasons. For one, I consider myself somewhat of an artist, so I would be remiss to not see the beauty in all forms, not to mention being sexually attracted to them . I'm not exculsively attracted to thick women (but god damn they're fun in bed). And for another, this might seem strange, but I find that the skeletal structure dictates what I find attractive in a female body, no matter the weight (I'm aware that this is looking way too into it, and greatly endangers the beauty. Sometimes not thinking about is best.) It's also how the body is naturally used in everyday things. Those last two things would be difficult to change.

My ex has really long legs, a short torso, big boobs, big butt, and a particular curve in her spine that makes her arms sort of shift back giving her a sexy attitude when she's just walking around or doing whatever. She's gained a few pounds over the years, but those things are still the same and they still drive me wild. Plus, she has these cute elbow dimples. Haha Point being, it's always a bunch of little things that add up to a person's form that you can't capture in a before-and-after.

[Athene]

I have a thing that isn't a question, but maybe a chance to get some advice. I like thick women, but I don't know how to go about expressing that without coming off insulting or digging in to some insecurity. My remedy has always been keeping my mouth shut or just complimenting profusely.

I often find myself in situations where a lady will say "I'm fat" or "I'm getting chubby", and I just want to be like "Hell yeah you are! Get at me woman!" But instead, I do like I said- keep quiet or just say something like "I think you're hot." Doesn't really get the point across.

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, you're a very attractive woman." or
 "You look great!" express appreciation without coming off as a perv who just wants handle some big tit-tays.

Complimenting is the best approach, but don't overdo it. One or two compliments with a genuine smile (non-creepy) should do the job.

[Exian]

Haha Big tit-rays are awesome tho.

Thanks for addressing this, errbody. The advice has been practical, and mostly what I've already employed, but it's nice to know your doing something right. I just get frustrated with women feeling unattractive when I'm over here like "Got damn!". It's is a bit analogous to the feeling of being an atheist and listening to a theist be so wrong. You almost want to scream.

[Exian]

Ok, here's a question- How do you feel about dating skinny men?

I'll go ahead and explain why I ask so there isn't a question about my intent. I'm also not going to qualify a lot of what I say, just to move things along. I hope I don't inadvertently sound too insensitive.

I read a study -maybe that's too strong a word- I read a thing that called itself a study without my following up on it that said relationships where the woman is bigger than the man are less likely to succeed. This was a while ago, but I recently brought it up to my ex (We're friends and often talk about our missteps and do a lot of what-iffing, so it wasn't me being weird). I brought it up because the men she has dated after me were progressively larger. She's with a really nice guy now who's probably 200+ pounds (and uglier than sin). Super nice guy though. Anyhow, I mentioned the trend and asked if she was uncomfortable when she was with me because I am skinny. The way I worded it was "I was too skinny for you." She responded with "No, but I always felt too big." I explained that that made me feel like I was too skinny, to which she said "I never thought about it like that." I think it kind of opened her eyes a little in that respect. This is just one aspect of our failed relationship, of course, but it was one that we recently talked about, and now here's this thread, so I thought I'd ask.

What do you think? Is there something to this?

[BrokenQuill92]

Do you have any in depth thoughts on fat-shaming? How about fat-pride?

On fat shaming I have one opinion, don't hide behind false concern. If you're going to be a dick about fatness don't try to half ass me. I'll give the Arbour chick that, at least she was open about her bitchiness.

On the other hand, fat pride is WRONG. Of course we should love ourselves as we are, but we should always strive to do better! Be healthy NOT thin. But healthy. Exercise, mental health, and food education are important. Self love is important but we should love ourselves by being healthy. And let's not use BMI it's totally useless and doesn't account for bone structure or muscle mass.

[Lemonvariable72]

Do you accept the media propaganda, designed to sell you "fix" products based on your perceived failure to meet an ideal image, which suggests that men are shallow and only attracted to one (relatively rare) body type?

When men compliment you on your attractiveness, do you feel they are lying because of the aforementioned image of self you have been sold?

My friend you slam the nail on the head there. Beautiful women come in all shapes, sizes, and colors.