To spank or not to spank?

[Minimalist]

Meh.  Whatever floats your boat.

[Losty]

I consider it to be child abuse.

There is a big difference between spanking a child and abusing them. A big difference.

If you say so. I disagree.

[vorlon13]

A common sentiment in my high school was we'd all prefer spankings/beatings to being grounded, loss of allowance or losing car privileges.

[BrokenQuill92]

I feel uncomfortable with with spanking for a few reasons

1 I don't like the idea of "do what I say or I'll hit you". I want my children to be able to question things.

2. It's too close to my favorite pastime. It grosses me out to have my kink associated with child rearing.

[Aroura]

What the heck is hot sauce punishment/? Wait, no, dint tell me.

I don't spank or hit in any way. All of that kind of punishment is damaging, and it fails at stopping the behavior you want stopped too. I did not read the whole thread, but there are many studies showing positive reinforcement and other styles work better than negative reinforcement.

We reward for good behavior, and withdraw from bad (send to room, remove things like screen time) as punishment.

I just can't see violence to a child being a good answer.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

The difference between a red asscheeck and stitches.  That wasn't so hard, now was it?

So, if I beat you but you don't bleed, we're good?

Boru

[Longhorn]

The difference between a red asscheeck and stitches.  That wasn't so hard, now was it?

So it's the degree of bodily harm that decides that? I don't agree.

[The Grand Nudger]

@Brian. Depends on what the alternative would be, but sure - I can be a cartoon if you'd like, I'll hold up the straw a little longer if you want to take a few swings at it. Yet another service I provide.

@Neimen. It's certainly one of the ways a difference can be determined...I'm sure we can add to the list, if we bang our heads together. Is tap-boxing with my son is "abusing" him? Seems to me the difference between that and actually boxing his ears in might be the difference between abuse and play. But what do I know....lol. I'd call degree of bodily harm step number 1 on the "am I abusing my child" quicklist. Personally, I haven't had to go much further than step 1...but my little heathens have it pretty good. Others may need further metrics.

You know...I got switched, belted and backhanded as a child/young adult. Maybe some of yall did too. Wasn't good, wasn't fun.....happened plenty of times where stern words would suffice. Decided not to be that guy, so..while your fevered minds might imagine good ole yours truly getting a running headstart and windmilling his kid with a closed fist, palming a lead weight, when I say the word "spanking".....I probably don't.

[Esquilax]

The difference between a red asscheeck and stitches.  That wasn't so hard, now was it?

Is mental abuse a thing in your metric?

That's a serious question by the way, because if you account for mental abuse then clearly the degree of physical injury the child sustains cannot be the only indicator of abuse and the argument could be made that the mentality enforced with spanking contributes to its place on the "abuse" side of things.

[Regina]

I think spanking only works on some children anyway. Parents can hit some children and they'll learn their lesson from it immediately, while on others it does nothing but cause resentment and worse behaviour.

In my own family I saw that difference. Me and my younger brother are actually very parallel to two of my cousins (also brothers) in that Me and the older cousin had always been generally better behaved while the younger brothers, who both have quite bad ADHD while we don't, only became worse after being hit. I think a child has to already have that innate feeling of their parents' authority for smacking to work. If they don't already respect authority and/or have underlying behaviour problems, it's not going to help.

I don't agree with it for any child though, because child psychologists have come up with far more effective (and universal, working for all types of children) non-violent forms of discipline that produce better results.