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To spank or not to spank?
#71
RE: To spank or not to spank?
(September 20, 2015 at 1:04 pm)TubbyTubby Wrote:
(September 20, 2015 at 12:43 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: As of now, I do plan on spanking my future kids. Two spanks per bad behavior is the current plan. I knew a family with young children who had that rule, and the consistency of 2 spanks per bad behavior seemed to work well because they knew exactly what they'd get if they were bad. Those were some of the best behaved kids I ever saw.
Mine are 10 & 12 years old, we never hit them. It's always a been a softly spoken word to point out the difference between right/wrong, safe/dangerous and they respond quite happily, we prefer reason and conversation to teach children. They don't get involved with hitting each other or other kids and don't go around yelling and screaming.

You go start hitting your kids and it becomes normal behaviour which they will carry through life.

I see it in our city centre every day, parents yelling and swearing and slapping and the kid responds in like - neverending cycle and once you've gone there there's no going back. What is the next threat when they become accustomed to spanking and refuse to comply?

Anyway, your kids, your choice. And out of curiosity, how did your friends decide that just the 2 spanks were sufficient?

Well I definitely agree there's a right and a wrong way to do it. I think the key is to not act on anger when you spank. This is quite different from what I see those crazy women doing at Walmart sometimes.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly." 

-walsh
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#72
RE: To spank or not to spank?
I'd rather no one got spanked, but as the fun uncle I find the only way to get my nieces to take me seriously is getting physical with them. It doesn't help that my sister calls me childish in front of them, so they honestly believe I'm no more a child than they are.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

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#73
RE: To spank or not to spank?
(September 20, 2015 at 1:04 pm)TubbyTubby Wrote: Anyway, your kids, your choice. And out of curiosity, how did your friends decide that just the 2 spanks were sufficient?

Oh, I don't know. I don't know if they came up with that idea on their own, or from some sort of How to Discipline Your Kid book.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly." 

-walsh
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#74
RE: To spank or not to spank?
My Mother "spanked" me.  A lot.  I'm still covered in scars from her "spankings".  Her favorite thing was her "railroad track".  It was a Hot Wheels Track piece.  She wound one end with duct tape for a handle.  She would swing that thing until she was exhausted.  I was her stress relief and punching bag, and I still thought it was all my fault, I was an evil little demon child who didn't pray and read her bible enough.  (I never spoke back.  I got straight A's in school. These "spankings" would be over a spoon that I didn't get clean enough, or dust on my dresser.  I got it about three times per week, from the age of 4 until 16.)
She also burned me with the tip of her clothes iron, to show me what hell was like.  She is, after many decades, still the most terrifying person on the planet.

I have seen parents give their toddlers a quick swat on the behind, and it worked.  Got their attention.  I have heard stories of spankings (even with a switch) where the buildup and discussion were much worse than one or two quick swats with a switch.

I would worry about the possibility of a parent losing their temper and going far beyond.  I think, after much study of psychology and motivation, that there are much better methods of parenting.  There are ways to get even a toddler to a basic understanding of cause and effect, as just one example.
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
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#75
RE: To spank or not to spank?
(September 20, 2015 at 1:12 pm)MTL Wrote:
(September 20, 2015 at 12:52 pm)Neimenovic Wrote: God, MTL. I'm so sorry. That's horrible Undecided

Thank you for your empathy.

I hope it is clear that my goal was not to garner pity,

but to give my input, on what I view as the ramifications,
at least in part, of the effect that severe corporal punishment can have, in the long term,
from an adult perspective.

That was what I experienced. Overly severe and misguided punishment.

My dad wasn't a drunk, it's not like he beat me with a wrench or molested me;
there are people who have had it much worse than me.

I'm just saying that it's yet another way that (religious) good intentions
may end up doing a lot more harm than good.

I know, and thank you for opening up and sharing your story. It's just any act of violence against a child breaks my heart. Sending you a truckload of cyber hugs right now
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#76
RE: To spank or not to spank?
(September 20, 2015 at 1:18 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote:
(September 20, 2015 at 1:04 pm)TubbyTubby Wrote: Anyway, your kids, your choice. And out of curiosity, how did your friends decide that just the 2 spanks were sufficient?

Oh, I don't know. I don't know if they came up with that idea on their own, or from some sort of How to Discipline Your Kid book.

You should ask them for the source, especially seeing as you intend to emulate them. Did a single slap not quite get the message across? Is it 2 slaps of slightly less power instead of one almighty full force smacking? For more serious crimes do they increase it to 3 or 4? I'm also interested in the reasoning behind this sort of behaviour.
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#77
To spank or not to spank?
I think the real harm is when you don't correct the bad behavior in a child. A red ass only lasts a brief time. Bad behavior can have life long consequences.
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#78
RE: To spank or not to spank?
(September 20, 2015 at 12:30 pm)MTL Wrote: Warning:  this post may be triggering to some.


Sorry MTL.  I get it.  I'm with you all the way.  It has taken years of therapy, and I still sometimes . . . think I'm worthless, battle depression, yes, it's all ingrained.   Should I have followed your lead and posted a trigger warning?  Folks?  A little guidance for a noob, here?
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
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#79
RE: To spank or not to spank?
(September 20, 2015 at 1:27 pm)KUSA Wrote: I think the real harm is when you don't correct the bad behavior in a child. A red ass only lasts a brief time. Bad behavior can have life long consequences.

Which, interestingly, can be taught to be avoided without resorting to physical punishment
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#80
RE: To spank or not to spank?
Not to spank. For any reason. Not ever.
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.
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