Some parental advice from all the lovely parentals? Non parentals also welcome :D

[Faith No More]

Balancing a kid's need for education and their need for social interaction can be tricky. The fact that you've asked her what she wants shows that you're on the right track. I would sit down with her and discuss the pros and cons of going ahead vs. staying put, and then you two can come to decision together. No matter what there is going to be a chance that the wrong decision is made, but at least that way there won't be any conflict over the result due to the fact that the choice was mutual. My parents made all of those decisions for me, and I still resent them for that.

And congrats, Losty! You should be proud. We need more gifted children in this country.

[Losty]

Well, I can wait until 3rd grade to put her in the gifted program. Then she would still have gym/lunch/recess with the kids in her grade. It would just mean "an entire year of lost opportunities" according to the academic advisor. I get what she's saying, but at the same time I think there will be plenty of time for her to move ahead when she's old enough to really make the decision on her own.

[Losty]

@FNM I really want this to be her decision as much as possible, but she is 7 and she just doesn't understand "how come my teacher doesn't teach all the other kids how to read chapter books so we can all go to the same classes".

When I was a kid I nearly failed the fourth grade because I refused to do any homework. The only thing that saved me were my excellent testing scores. My parents refused to move me up because I was already younger than most of my class. I don't want that for my daughter, but as an adult I can understand their decision. When you're younger than everyone in your grade it seems like it would be stressful not to mention difficult to have a healthy social life.

[vorlon13]

How much do you remember about being 7 ??

How much do I remember about being 7 ??

I think for either of us the answer might be not very much.

[Losty]

How much do you remember about being 7 ??

How much do I remember about being 7 ??

I think for either of us the answer might be not very much.

My earliest memories are random choppy bits of information. I remember a lot from safety school and I was 4 when I went to that. I remember every teacher I had in grade school and can tell you about most of the kids in my classes. Honestly, I remember a lot from being 7. Sometimes people tell me they don't remember their childhood it seems so strange to me.

[Athene]

Have you talked to her about the possibility? How does she feel about it?

She wants to be able to go to classes where she can learn new things, but she doesn't want to leave her friends behind.

Leaving friends behind is a part of life. It's a good idea to teach children to accept that circumstances change and to learn adaptation skills as young as possible.

She'll have to say goodbye to many friends, many times in the course of her life...that's how it is. It's not a good reason for anyone to forgo exploring his or her human potential.

[vorlon13]

I remember summer school when I was 7 or 8.  It was fun, and it fixed some problems I was having from being a slow reader.  Not sure where I'd be with out that.*

2nd and 3rd grade are 'choppy' as you say, like K thru 6 really.


* surprised your vorlon came close to turning out semi-literate ??

[Thumpalumpacus]

Ok so my daughter is 7. She is in the first grade. Her birthday is in the end of August so she missed the cut off for starting kindergarten at 5. She is currently reading at a fourth grade level (sorry to non-muricans, you may have to do some kind of conversion). She does math at a third grade level. She is just generally ahead for her age. Yesterday I had a discussion with her teacher, an academic advisor, and the assistant principal at her school. She has apparently tested in to the gifted program that is at the same school but in a separate part from other students. (I didn't even know they were going to test her). The test, they tell me, even has a written exam that she did very well on. They want me to sign for her to be in the gifted program next school year.

My issue is that the program is only for 3rd grade and up. So if she goes into this program next year, she will have to skip the second grade. I know this is a really great opportunity for her to be able to use her mind in a more stimulating way, right now she frequently complains that school is so boring and she doesn't get to learn new stuff. I also know that she's 7. She's just a baby. I can't decide if it's a good idea to skip her ahead a grade instead of letting her have this time while she's very young to be...very young. I want her to be able to play and be silly with kids her own age and not go to school everyday feeling weighed down by the pressures of measuring up to kids that are older than her. I can't decide what to do.

Putting her ahead in education doesn't forestall her childhood. Do it. She can, and will, be childish on her own time; but she will be exposed to deeper concepts earlier, and that will send ripples through her education going forward. It's not about measuring up to other kids, but rather, about challenging her to use her head to the fullest.

Hell, many of us here are well into middle age, and are still childish.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I can't comment from a parental standpoint, but I can comment from a kid's standpoint, although I'm afraid my answer might just muddy the waters.

When I was in Kindergarten, the school contacted my parents and basically told them "he needs to move up, now."  I was explaining how rocket propulsion and insect metamorphosis worked to my teacher, I was skimming through biology textbooks at home, and excelling at mathematics.  Three weeks into the year, they slid me up to first grade, put me in the enrichment program, which was one whole day a week, and the next year they added another day a week in the enrichment program of the grade above me.  The next part I didn't find out until I was in college: when I got to fourth grade, the school strongly recommended to my parents that I be moved up another grade, and after much discussion they said no.  Eventually, I ended up in a lot of classes where I was a high school freshman, there were 3 juniors, and 16 seniors. Had I been moved up again, I would have graduated high school at 16.

Looking back... I don't know what I wish my parents would have done.  I just don't know.  I was always really bored with school for not being advanced enough and really awkward with my peers for not being emotionally mature (a problem certainly not unique to younger students, but probably exacerbated by my comparative youth).  I'm really well adjusted these days, but I don't think that happened until 19 or 20.  Had I not been moved up at all, I would've probably rebelled even more because I'd be so fed up with learning stuff I'd figured out years before, and had I been moved up again I would've basically had an even harder time making friends and dating and such, but I would've been more academically fulfilled.  And it's impossible to look back and say which positive and negative aspects of my life had something to do with that.  Robert Frost and all that.  I can't make a recommendation, other than to suggest that, if you think your kid should move up a grade, do it as young as possible.

When I lived in Iran, I went to a private school that had academic standards far above what American public schools had, so that when we returned in 1978 -- when I was in 6th grade -- I had already studied stuff like geometry and comparative history. I still had a lot to learn, but couldn't do so in the American system, which is metered to the lowest common denominator; I had to wait for college to receive intellectual challenge again.

That period of drift was unpleasant, and only partially offset by private studies in areas like history and music, which kept my brain active. Only when I started college, and had the fortune of some good professors who really lived up to that title, did my intellectual life resume.

[Losty]

Yes I think an edit is best here. That was just way too personall sorry everyone. Moving along moving along.