Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 30, 2024, 2:31 pm

Poll: do you bow down to The One True Turtle?
This poll is closed.
Yes! I bow before your Omni-Turtleyness! G-Rob is the anti-turtle!
9.09%
1 9.09%
Robvalue is indeed God-Rob/G-Rob. You are the imposter now go fuck yourself shit for brains!
18.18%
2 18.18%
i iz undecided can i haz cookie while i wait make decision-timings?
72.73%
8 72.73%
Total 11 vote(s) 100%
* You voted for this item. [Show Results]

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
I am the One True Turtle
#11
RE: I am the One True Turtle
(November 16, 2015 at 8:42 am)SteelCurtain Wrote: I have seen evidence of G-Rob!

His tie were near 6 ft wide!

Pffft. Evidence? Real Gods don't need evidence!

In fact that's pretty much proof that he's the imposter anti-turtle. So thank you for that! If you have faith in me now you shall get a Turley-Turtle-bonus in the Totty afterlife.

I mean him having evidence of his existence is proof he is an imposter (because true gods have no evidence). I didn't mean to suggest that Rob's 6 ft wide tie was proof he was the anti-turtle. 'Sides, Turtle has a tie too: But no I will not give proof of it. The One True Turtle is far too turtely for evidence, all that is required is pure-turtlely-turtle faith.

[Image: u7ucc.jpg]
Reply
#12
RE: I am the One True Turtle
(November 16, 2015 at 8:49 am)robvalue Wrote: Nuh uh.

I'll build on that later. For now, have faith my people. This tyrannical turtle will not confuse me with all those big words.

[Image: u7uog.jpg]
Reply
#13
RE: I am the One True Turtle
Turtles do not have anuses. They have a 'universal' port called a cloaca. They are a lower form of life and should be of little or no interest to the True followers of Anusius.
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




Reply
#14
RE: I am the One True Turtle
You heretic.

Testudo hu akbar!

: small arms fire :
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Reply
#15
RE: I am the One True Turtle
(November 16, 2015 at 2:49 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: Turtle's do not have anuses.  They have a 'universal' port called a cloaca.  They are a lower form of life and should be of little or no interest to the True followers of Anusius.

True Turtles do have anuses and don't let the absence of evidence for one fool you: If you're expecting evidence you're going about this the wrong way. Have faith in my anus my friend.
Reply
#16
RE: I am the One True Turtle
(November 16, 2015 at 2:54 pm)Rhythm Wrote: You heretic.

[Image: u8fg2.jpg]
Reply
#17
RE: I am the One True Turtle
I feel a bit like Noah right now.  Betrayed by my god.  I'll take my services nextdoor, to Anusius, see how many converts you get when I'm on overwatch at your cathedral arch with my rifle.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Reply
#18
RE: I am the One True Turtle
My tribute to Anusius is that I fart in your general direction
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition

Reply
#19
RE: I am the One True Turtle
You done fucked up: you included a choice in your poll that includes "can i haz cookie". Any rational person will choose hazzing cookie over not hazzing cookie. Your third option could have been "i will stab out my eyes but can i haz cookie plz" and it still would've been at least a 10/10/80 split
How will we know, when the morning comes, we are still human? - 2D

Don't worry, my friend.  If this be the end, then so shall it be.
Reply
#20
RE: I am the One True Turtle
[Image: 11-funny-little-shark-meme.jpg]
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition

Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Thanks to these boards...I discovered my true religion. Landfish 8 29042 December 29, 2014 at 12:35 pm
Last Post: dyresand



Users browsing this thread: 2 Guest(s)