Another raaaaaaaaaape!!!

[Catholic_Lady]

Jenny,

I don't think you read my entire post.

I weighed in as a rape victim, so, in part, I could say the exact same thing you just said:

Encouraging young women to be street-smart and wise and keep themselves safe
doesn't mean I'm blaming them for the rape.

Not the way I read it but I agree.  Rape is rape,  but playing it safe is a damnedgood idea.

^ I don't think anyone here disagrees with that.

[Catholic_Lady]

I'm just trying to say that if you don't want to have sex, don't do anything sexual. don't make out. Don't feel each other up. I know it's fun to experiment, but being hopped up on hormones is as bad as being hopped up on any other intoxicant. It keeps people from thinking straight.

Chad, that is ridiculous.

That means there is no more "going slowly" in a new relationship:

"Sorry, I know this is our fifth date and I haven't even kissed you, yet,
but I don't want to do ANYTHING even remotely sexual until I'm sure I want to have intercourse with you. "

Like, what???

Part of how you figure out whether or not you want to go further is by going slowly.

I've dated guys who don't always stop when they're told to stop.

But I've dated more guys who have no problem controlling themselves and being gentlemen and stopping when appropriate....if for no other reason than that they are not apes and understand consequences and don't want a record or prison time.

What you're saying is tantamount to victim blame, even if the guy goes to jail.

Sorry girls, you're not allowed to kiss your boyfriends at all, anymore,
because then you will be expected to put out,
and if you get raped, you asked for it.

What utter, utter nonsense.

Maybe you should just move to Afghanistan and be done with it...
women there are expected to keep their sexuality COMPLETELY under wraps,
lest they tempt a man to rape them...

...and even then, the woman will be stoned to death for the crime of being a rape victim,
because it was her fault,
walking around all saucy in that sexy sexy burqa, after all...


Sheesh.

This was a bit harsh, but the harshness was well deserved. Seriously Chad, I really hope you don't mean what it sounds like you mean.

[MTL]

Chad, that is ridiculous.

That means there is no more "going slowly" in a new relationship:

"Sorry, I know this is our fifth date and I haven't even kissed you, yet,
but I don't want to do ANYTHING even remotely sexual until I'm sure I want to have intercourse with you. "

Like, what???

Part of how you figure out whether or not you want to go further is by going slowly.

I've dated guys who don't always stop when they're told to stop.

But I've dated more guys who have no problem controlling themselves and being gentlemen and stopping when appropriate....if for no other reason than that they are not apes and understand consequences and don't want a record or prison time.

What you're saying is tantamount to victim blame, even if the guy goes to jail.

Sorry girls, you're not allowed to kiss your boyfriends at all, anymore,
because then you will be expected to put out,
and if you get raped, you asked for it.

What utter, utter nonsense.

Maybe you should just move to Afghanistan and be done with it...
women there are expected to keep their sexuality COMPLETELY under wraps,
lest they tempt a man to rape them...

...and even then, the woman will be stoned to death for the crime of being a rape victim,
because it was her fault,
walking around all saucy in that sexy sexy burqa, after all...


Sheesh.

This was a bit harsh, but the harshness was well deserved. Seriously Chad, I really hope you don't mean what it sounds like you mean.

I try not to get harsh unless I'm given a pretty good reason to.

[Mermaid]

I definitely see your point. And there are also cases that have been in the news where women have falsely accused men of rape, and that's also something not discussed enough. I tend to not make a judgment until I read/hear all the facts in cases.

Aye. False accusations are becoming worryingly common lately. Sexual assault towards men is also something that is rarely discussed, which definitely needs to change.

They are not common. They are commonly reported, but they are by no means common.

[Jello]

Aye. False accusations are becoming worryingly common lately. Sexual assault towards men is also something that is rarely discussed, which definitely needs to change.

They are not common. They are commonly reported, but they are by no means common.

I see a lot of false accusations get thrown around. Sure, they're not happening all the time, but they're a lot more common than they used to be, is what i meant. And my second point still stands. sexual assault towards men still needs to be discussed more.

[Mermaid]

They are not common. They are commonly reported, but they are by no means common.

I see a lot of false accusations get thrown around. Sure, they're not happening all the time, but they're a lot more common than they used to be, is what i meant. And my second point still stands. sexual assault towards men still needs to be discussed more.

That's the thing. They are not more common than they used to be. They just get more ink.

Not disputing your second point at all. Sexual assault is wrong regardless of gender, and it's a problem for both sexes.

[paulpablo]

I hope you also believe that a man should have every right should the roles be reversed.



Back onto the actual case at hand, yup, he's a rapist, and yup, someone should really tell her that risk mitigation is a thing.

I absolutely do. 

I'm not a feminazi just because I objected to someone else saying a rape victim has no right to be upset about getting raped.

I can't find where he actually said that she has no right to be upset.

[rexbeccarox]

They are not common. They are commonly reported, but they are by no means common.

I see a lot of false accusations get thrown around. Sure, they're not happening all the time, but they're a lot more common than they used to be, is what i meant. And my second point still stands. sexual assault towards men still needs to be discussed more.

I'm a volunteer SART advocate, and during my (very intensive) training, we focused just as much on the sexual assault of men as we did on women. In fact, we had three male victims come to talk to the class, and only one female victim.

[Wyrd of Gawd]

If a rape victim consented to sex and then withdrew consent during the act, it's still rape if the person having sex with the victim continues to have sex with them.

It doesn't matter if someone is "asking for it". A person can request sex and then refuse it, even during the act. Consenting to sex doesn't mean you have to go through with the entire act.

That's an excellent way to get murdered.

[Jello]

I see a lot of false accusations get thrown around. Sure, they're not happening all the time, but they're a lot more common than they used to be, is what i meant. And my second point still stands. sexual assault towards men still needs to be discussed more.

That's the thing. They are not more common than they used to be. They just get more ink.

Not disputing your second point at all. Sexual assault is wrong regardless of gender, and it's a problem for both sexes.

Eh. That's possible. Though, the fact that they're getting more notice isn't entirely a bad thing, as it does mean that less people will throw false accusations over time. Though it may also have the side effect of making people who genuinely have been raped, feel like they're not going to be able to get the person who did it to them put in jail. 

And good, that you agree on the second point. I have to make sure on that part, because i have met so many people who seem to think it's not a thing, which is rather aggravating.

---

I see a lot of false accusations get thrown around. Sure, they're not happening all the time, but they're a lot more common than they used to be, is what i meant. And my second point still stands. sexual assault towards men still needs to be discussed more.

I'm a volunteer SART advocate, and during my (very intensive) training, we focused just as much on the sexual assault of men as we did on women. In fact, we had three male victims come to talk to the class, and only one female victim.

My point was more that the public need to be made more aware. It's good that it is focused on in training though, because that's definitely a good step in the right direction.