So who else did this as a child? - vulgar songs

[abaris]

For once, me and some friends went as Carol Singers. The reward was sweet in the literal sense of the word. A huge sack of candies awaited us at the end of the line. We had to study the lyrics of course, before going out, and used the opportunity to turn them into something vulgar. With lots of shit and ass involved. People we sang for didn't even notice.

We did it at music class at school too. In the early 70ies there was a very popular song in the hitparade, based on Beethoven's 9th symphony, which only works when sung in Austrian dialect. It turned the lyrics of the Ode to joy into "I'm disgusted by all the people, want to punch them in their traps". Something like that, and of course, when we should perform it in class, we used these words. Music teacher threw a very memorable tantrum.

[brewer]

Yeah, we had them too. Referred to them as pimp songs.

The school song "Fighting Bulldogs" became the "Croaking Bull Frogs". In the song the frogs all died of starvation.

"As the Caissons go Rolling Along" became "As that time of the month comes along". Had rhythms with tell and smell, wet and sweat.

We had plenty as grade schoolers but they were infantile and now the words allude me.

[abaris]

Yeah, they were rather infantile in comparison, but even now I can't help it. If I hear "Amazin Grace", for example, it simply turns into "Amazing Ass, how sweet the sound" in my mind.

[Jenny A]

Like these?

My Bonnie has tuberculosis
My Bonnie has puss on her lungs
She coughs up a bloody solution
And dries it and chews it for gum
For gum
Dentien, Dentien,
She dries and chews it for gum.

My father lay over the ocean
My mother lay over the sea
My father lay over my mother
And that's how I came to be
To be.

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We have tortured all the teachers - we have broken all the rules
We ramrocked all the offices and hung the principal
March on, third grade, march on!
Glory, glory, hallelujah
My teacher hit me with a ruler
I hid behind her door with a loaded .44
And the teacher don't teach no more!

On top of spagetti (on top of spagetti)
All covered with cheese (all covered with cheese)
I lost my poor meatball (I lost my poor meatball)
When somebody sneezed (when somebody sneezed)
It rolled off the table (it rolled off the table)
And onto the floor (and onto the floor)
And then my poor meatball (and then my poor meatball)
Rolled out of the door (rolled out of the door)
It rolled in the garden (it rolled in the garden)
And under a bush (and under a bush)
And then my poor meatball (and then my poor meatball)
Was nothing but mush (was nothing but mush

I think every one has sung one at one time or another.

[brewer]

How about "I'm looking over my dead dog rover".

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Not really vulgar, just kind of creepy:

'There was a man of double-deed, who sowed his garden full of seed.
'When the seed began to grow, 'twas like a garden full of snow.
'When the snow began to fall, like birds it was upon the wall.
'When the birds began to fly, 'twas like a ship wreck in the sky.
'When the sky began to crack, 'twas like a stick upon my back.
'When my back began to smart, 'twas like a penknife in my heart.
'When my heat began to bleed, then I was dead and dead indeed.'

and

'Jack the Ripper's dead,
'He's lying on his bed.
'He's cut his throat with Sunlight Soap,
Jack the Ripper's dead.'

Boru

[abaris]

There is one christmas carol, we turned into a rather scary song. In German crib and Kripo sound kind of similar. Kripo stands for CID, and so, in our childish version, we transfered baby Jesus to the morgue. People we sang it to, didn't notice the change.

But as I said, I probably have a dirty mind, when listening to certain songs, a vulgar version is immediately in my mind. Did you notice, for example, that you only have to replace the word "twist" with "fist" in the Chubby Checker song "Let's Twist again" to turn it into something fundamentally dirty? Doesn't need any additional changes.

[Little lunch]

Jenny A, I read this like 5 hrs ago and I've still got that 'My fucking Bonnie' song going through my head.
Thanks. Not. :-)