Feeling frustrated

[mageta52]

Somehow, something I watched on youtube triggered a suggested video on my feed by the vigilant Christian. I had never heard of this guy before, it was some video about a celebrity being exposed as a satanist or something. I watched it, found it entertaining and started watching more of his videos. This guy has some serious dedication, he puts out a video almost every day, sometimes several a day. His basic message is that the media and entertainment industry are controlled by the illuminati and that they're all trying to lure us to Satan, and are actively practicing dark rituals behind the scenes. His channel is meant to expose this wrongdoing and steer people in the right direction.

I've watched too many of his videos and they've rubbed off on me. I feel like my life is tainted, like everything I watch, hear and do is full of sin. I feel like I'm being judged all the time. Having been raised in a Christian household, this is something I've struggled with on and off my whole life. 

Even as a kid I had serious doubts about the things I had been told, the conclusion I came to was that I could lie to myself, and lie to other people, but I could not lie to god, if he really did exist. God is all knowing, and all powerful, and so he would surely know that I didn't sincerely believe the bible, what else could I do but continue on and accept that I was going to hell for not being a believer? I sure couldn't force myself...

Sometimes I try to make another go at Christianity, and it just never works. My mind is throwing out a billion questions; if we are imperfect before god, then why does he appear to have the same character flaws that we do? Sending us to hell for not believing? Sending people to hell who were raised with the wrong religion? How much does a person have to believe to go to heaven? What percentage of doubt is considered acceptable, before it is deemed insincere? God did not create evil, but if he is all powerful, surely he can remove it. Why are we meant to suffer here? If someone was all powerful, why create such a flawed system? I'm sorry, but the picture crumbles and doesn't hold up to questioning. I think the simple truth is that I try to come back because I'm afraid. What if I'm wrong? What if we really are in the end times and the prophecies are true? In the end everyone will turn away from god, and only those who stay strong and stay on the right path will be saved. I feel afraid, and I wish that I didn't. I feel stuck because on the one hand I don't believe, but on the other I feel like I'm messing up and living a horrible life.

The truth is, I've made more progress with new age teachings and psychology than I ever have with Christianity, or any other organized religion. I hear these testimonies of people who have been "Saved" from blasphemous new age teachings and for some reason it just really scares me. Why do I have such a binary worldview when it comes to this? Why does it feel so scary to take credit for my own personal progress? 

Surely I'm not the only one who has struggled with such issues. I would like to hear other peoples thoughts on this. I know that ideas and beliefs instilled at a young age are the strongest, and maybe that's why I have such a difficult time letting go of the fear.

[Silver]

It is natural to cling to the comfort of that which cannot be proven, but that which provides comfort because it is more comforting than the truth of reality.

[robvalue]

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles

I am guessing you were indoctrinated as a child? (Taught Christianity "as fact".) Even if not, we live in countries saturated with Christian mythology everywhere, and people who truly believe it.

It's natural for it to get deep into your head. It's understandable to feel fear, especially since this is religion's greatest weapon.

To try and put it in perspective, think of all the religions there are in the world. Then think of all the religions that have been and gone. And all the religions that will appear in the future. Only one religion can be the right one, since they generally contradict each other. Why should that right one be Christianity? And even if it is, there's over 40,000 sects of it. If we're talking about playing it "safe", the odds of picking the right religion are actually negligible. In fact they are zero, if you consider all the potential religions that could exist.

You worry about Christian hell because people go on about it all the time. You don't worry about any others, I bet. Why is that? Because they are dumb and made up. Well, Christian hell is no different. It just happens to be the popular religion (originally spread by violence and by historical figures announcing it to be "the religion" people would follow.) Millions of people believing something doesn't make it true. Clearly not, since millions of people believe in Islamic hell, and at least one of those two isn't real.

They can't all be right, but they can all be wrong. A decent God, one worthy of worship, would not even demand worship. He would be happy to see you living your life as best you can, and treating others well. He wouldn't even have a hell to send anyone to. It's the most evil concept ever. He wouldn't want us to waste our time kissing his ass and doing loads of weird rituals.

Any other type of God other than a decent one, isn't worthy of worship, and you can't trust him to keep his word anyway. So fuck him. Luckily, there's no evidence any religion is anything other than fantasy. It just gets passed on by indoctrinating people when they are young, before they learn how to think critically. By that point it's lodged in the brain as fact, even though it's utter horse shit.

http://youtu.be/4W0mJ7svsKk

[mageta52]

I am guessing you were indoctrinated as a child? (Taught Christianity "as fact".) Even if not, we live in countries saturated with Christian mythology everywhere, and people who truly believe it.

It wasn't pushed really hard on us, but at least early on, before my dad stopped believing, it was what we were told. I remember feeling really upset about something, and the solution from my mom was to put it in gods hands and let him take care of it.

To try and put it in perspective, think of all the religions there are in the world. Then think of all the religions that have been and gone. And all the religions that will appear in the future. Only one religion can be the right one, since they generally contradict each other. Why should that right one be Christianity? And even if it is, there's over 40,000 sects of it. If we're talking about playing it "safe", the odds of picking the right religion are actually negligible. In fact they are zero, if you consider all the potential religions that could exist.

This one really gets me, and produces some pretty silly questions. How right does a person have to be to go to heaven? What about the Westborough baptist church? They spread messages of hate, will they get to go? Mega churches, with their massive stadiums full of people, preaching a watered down version of the gospel; are they going to heaven? Is there some sort of equation where all the variables get plugged in, and then it's either pass or fail? Seems absurd to me.

You worry about Christian hell because people go on about it all the time. You don't worry about any others, I bet. Why is that? Because they are dumb and made up. Well, Christian hell is no different. It just happens to be the popular religion (originally spread by violence and by historical figures announcing it to be "the religion" people would follow.) Millions of people believing something doesn't make it true. Clearly not, since millions of people believe in Islamic hell, and at least one of those two isn't real.

This one really gets me. There are so many people, older people who are smart, have a high level education, are capable of solving complex problems, and yet they believe this stuff... It just bewilders me. And if Hell is such a common, shared characteristic of many religions, where did that belief come from? Was there some old, ancient religion before the rest of them, that's been forgotten and lost?

They can't all be right, but they can all be wrong. A decent God, one worthy of worship, would not even demand worship. He would be happy to see you living your life as best you can, and treating others well. He wouldn't even have a hell to send anyone to. It's the most evil concept ever. He wouldn't want us to waste our time kissing his ass and doing loads of weird rituals.

Like I said before; if we are imperfect and impure before the glory of god, then why does he seem to have so many human character flaws? The entire concept feels childish and immature. He loves us all, unconditionally, but his actions speak otherwise. It just doesn't make sense to me, on any level. 

Any other type of God other than a decent one, isn't worthy of worship, and you can't trust him to keep his word anyway. So fuck him. Luckily, there's no evidence any religion is anything other than fantasy. It just gets passed on by indoctrinating people when they are young, before they learn how to think critically. By that point it's lodged in the brain as fact, even though it's utter horse shit.

True or not, where do you think the majority of values have come from in the past? If religion fades away eventually, as a fairy tale, what will people become? Who will they look up to? It feels to me, like people are already putting their energy into the wrong places. They either worship themselves over social media platforms, or they look up to celebrities and pop stars, who have mental issues and drug problems... Materialism, narcissism, promiscuity, drinking, drugging, destruction of the body and mind, violence. Music is all about getting trashed, the media is full of propaganda and garbage... These are the things that people are surrounded by. It's on the internet, it's on the TV, it's on the radio, it's spread by word of mouth, this is the current culture in the United States. Who is spreading the good message now? Even if it's not true, I would argue that Christianity and lot of the old religions have some pretty good values. I mean, the teachings of Jesus are pretty much the exact opposite of the mainstream entertainment and media industry right now.

[robvalue]

There are a lot of problems now, yes. But I think you've got hold of the wrong end of the stick to think it has anything to do with religion or lack thereof.

Religion isn't a "good message" in the first place, it's absolutely disgusting and immoral; at least the abrahamic ones. Christianity is about as sick as things get. It's about blind obedience, and hating yourself. Jesus was the one who brought hell with him. How does it get any worse than that? His message is obey or burn.

We should address the problems we face, but not by assuming everyone is a part of them, and not by associating it with irreligion. People are good to each other mainly because they have empathy. Religion just produces magical explanations as to why we care about other people, and warps it into something sinister. The idea that good can only come from religion is part of the propaganda.

[krstl_mrrw]

I think when you're raised into a religion, or with a general concept of a god, prayer, etc., it takes a bit of time to undo the "what if I'm wrong..." idea. At least it did for me. For a good chunk of my teenage years I continued to try to rationalize the existence of a god or the truth of the bible, even though I was already classifying myself as an agnostic at that point.

I was scared of being wrong, but I slowly started understanding I only believed what I believed because of my geographical location on this earth, when I was born and who my parents were. Had I been born in Greece in 359 b.c.e., my religious beliefs would be wildly different and the salvation of Jesus Christ wouldn't have even been a thing. Over time the questions became less and less important because I started to see that religion and their concepts were simply just circumstance of time and place, nothing more.

[Gemini]

Hey Feeling Frustrated.

You say you're made more progress with new age teachings and psychology than you have with Christianity, but you're worried that values are dependent on religions like that ole time religion.

No. The values that Christians have are nothing more than unexamined naive prejudices. They normalize things like sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and the patriarchy. And the patriarchy leads to all kinds of fucked up shit. Look at all the high-profile conservatives who turned out to be the worst kind of sexual deviants. That ole time religion didn't do anything about that.

[Sterben]

Trust in your atheism, let it be a guiding factor in your own intellectual development. The superior mind over allows a freedom that only be gained by letting go of old and out date ideology's. Express your individuality and free yourself the chains of society.