What's the point in dating single mothers?

[ErGingerbreadMandude]

Are you saying your saying your family courts are sexist?

No. Perhaps you should read for content rather than impose your own agenda?

I say what I mean and mean what I say. Trying to inject a message I'm not propounding is rude and will cause this discussion to hit the shitter very quickly, compadre.

Correct me if I'm wrong, you said that you don't necessarily know whether a woman wants to have custody or not but they get more custody than men anyway.

Sexism means discriminating a gender.
By your post I got the vibe that you think men are discriminated against in family courts - unless of course you're saying women aren't given preferential treatment, then I retract my question.
(I'm not pushing in any agendas,this is just a discussion and by what you said family courts are sexist, this was just an observation on my part I was simply asking whether my observation was accurate.)

[ErGingerbreadMandude]

No way did anyone see that coming.

/sarcasm

He's as sneaky as a giant sloth ... but not nearly so clever.

Why are you resorting to insulting me? All I asked was whether my observation regarding what you said were true.

[Jackalope]

That's not what he said at all.

[J a c k]

In my case, I honestly don't know if courts are discriminating. I have seen more moms get custody, and I have seen some dads lose when they wanted it. I don't know why. I wasn't in the court room. A lot of dudes were happy with no custody.

[Thumpalumpacus]

It happens that here in America, in contested custody, women are awarded custody far more often than men. I'm not sure that more women than men want custody, simply that they get it. If you've got numbers, I'm amenable to correction.

Come to Pennsylvania. You'll quickly see that this is not the case. More or less, it's whoever has the most money for the better lawyer, gets the kids. Regardless of how good or bad of a parent they are.

I can attest to that, personally.

Yeah, I'm sure there are outliers -- I was speaking to general, nationwide statistics. I agree that money plays a large role in custody decisions, but so does earning potential, and this latter fact works against men in contested custody cases insofar as the court will often see reducing the income available for caring for the child(ren) as a greater harm; that skews decisions in favor of women in contested-custody cases.

I know that you were on the raw end of the deal in your particular case, and that other women almost certainly have received similar treatment. That doesn't contradict my point that as an aggregate, men most often lose contested-custody cases.

[madog]

I can't see a problem with dating a single mom,

But thought Josepth had a good reason to be pissed off when God got his virgin missus up the spout .. its enough to turn anyone atheist .... I mean if god couldn't help himself he could have at least used a condom and said F*ck the Pope.

Dog

[Thumpalumpacus]

No. Perhaps you should read for content rather than impose your own agenda?

I say what I mean and mean what I say. Trying to inject a message I'm not propounding is rude and will cause this discussion to hit the shitter very quickly, compadre.

Correct me if I'm wrong, you said that you don't necessarily know whether a woman wants to have custody or not but they get more custody than men anyway.

Sexism means discriminating a gender.

That's an incomplete definition. Sexism means discriminating because of gender.

Your assumption that the disparity in custody awards is based solely on gender has yet to be supported. There are other reason why the courts may decide custody in favor of the mother. It's a pretty complicated matter and you really need to practice multivariate analysis, rather than jumping on your hobby-horse and riding like the wind.

By your post I got the vibe that you think men are discriminated against in family courts - unless of course you're saying women aren't given preferential treatment, then I retract my question.

No. What I'm saying is that the results, women getting custody more often, doesn't not have one simple explanation. I am not saying that men automatically lose custody cases simply because they aren't women.

(I'm not pushing in any agendas,this is just a discussion and by what you said family courts are sexist, this was just an observation on my part I was simply asking whether my observation was accurate.)

Bullshit and apple-butter. You're pushing your agenda that women aren't victims of wider discrimination in society that you've demonstrated in several other threads by trying to drag my points into supporting yours. However, your analysis is irremediably simplistic and I don't appreciate you trying to stuff words in my mouth. Stop it.

[Joods]

There is a huge group of people (women AND men) that I am part of who have had their custodial rights trampled upon simply because the other parent is a narcissistic asshole who knows how to manipulate the system. It's sad, really.

[Thumpalumpacus]

He's as sneaky as a giant sloth ... but not nearly so clever.

Why are you resorting to insulting me? All I asked was whether my observation regarding what you said were true.

Because you're trying to enlist my points to support your agenda, at the same time disclaiming such an effort.


You're a lot more transparent than you seem to think, and the readership here is a lot smarter than you seem to think.

[Thumpalumpacus]

There is a huge group of people (women AND men) that I am part of who have had their custodial rights trampled upon simply because the other parent is a narcissistic asshole who knows how to manipulate the system. It's sad, really.

Indeed. The first year after our breakup, my relations with my son's mom were bitter, and at one point she sued for complete custody. I represented myself and successfully defended my paternal rights in court, winning 42% custody (3 days a week, every week). It took that, and a lot of patient talk, to get her to understand that it was in our son's best interest that we have joint custody, and thatwe should get along.

I'm happy to say that now, fifteen years later, I count her as my best friend. I couldn't have picked a better woman to mother my child. I just wish we'd been grown-up enough to keep his family intact. I do take solace in the fact that we've given him a direct example of how to be mature in the face of a deeply emotional difference.