Monogamous or not.

[paulpablo]

Are you monogamous or not.  Or is there some other way you would describe yourself.

To the extent that your sexual lifestyle is a choice how do you feel about your sexual lifestyle choices, pros and cons?

Also, aside from your sexual lifestyle now, has there been any drastic changes in your sexual lifestyle, for example were you once monogamous and then went a little wild, or were you wild and then decided to be monogamous?

I personally have been very wild sexually since the age of about 25.  I really am considering going monogamous now at the age of 31 with the girl who gave birth to my daughter.  She doesn't trust me enough to get into a relationship with me with good reasons because she knows about my sexual history.  We both like each other a lot though and I really am thinking about clamping down, and not having relatively random sex anymore.

Right now I feel a bit like how I felt before I gave up smoking, drinking, drugs and so on.  I know there's probably a good thing waiting for me at the end of this decision but I feel really nostalgic and a sense of missed out adventures when I look back at all the stuff I've done.  But on the other hand I think not all the girls I've been out with have been that great, am I really missing out on much?

What do you do to stop temptation?  Is this why normal men go out and watch football and drink?  I've never been into all that so maybe that's what normal men use as a distraction from temptation.

I voted for not monogamous because it's safe to say even though I am leaning towards wanting to be monogamous I haven't taken real steps towards being that way yet. Although I do see myself going completely monogamous, I've given up smoking and drinking before fairly rapidly and I can see this going the same way, if I stick to it.

The benefits of remaining monogamous forever seem clear enough, you're better off financially pooling your resources with one partner, it's easier to raise a child. These are just the non emotional factors, I don't know how it feels emotionally to be monogamous for a very long period because it's not something I've done properly yet. I get worried that the attitude to sex with one another might get a bit jaded and boring.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I'm monogamous. I've gone to bed with women I didn't truly love a couple of times, and it just didn't have the same feel to it. I enjoy being in a loving relationship and wouldn't think of cheating on my woman. I've never been promiscuous, not that I look down on those who are ... it just ain't me, it ain't who I am.

At the end of my relationship with my son's mother, I certainly was vulnerable to any approach from a woman, but did not search out any opportunity. I had made a commitment.

Probably not very helpful, but there you go ...

[Chad32]

Bigamist, so I can have a girl in each arm. Am I right?  

Though in all honesty my family expects a narrow view of marriage. One man, one woman. Both the same race. Till death do you part. Personally I don't care, as long as all parties consent. Adults should be able to do what they want.

[Losty]

I voted not monogamous because it appears that your question is strictly sexual. I don't think romantic relationships must be monogamous but I'm not against a monogamous romantic relationship. Sexual monogamy is something I did for a very brief time...it didn't work out. I'm weird though, think. Yes...I'm a strange person. I have serious issues with love and romance and mixing that with sex. It's not to say it's impossible or I'd never want it. It's just that it's definitely not easy for me. If I feel trapped or smothered I have been known to bail.

[paulpablo]

Bigamist, so I can have a girl in each arm. Am I right?  

Though in all honesty my family expects a narrow view of marriage. One man, one woman. Both the same race. Till death do you part. Personally I don't care, as long as all parties consent. Adults should be able to do what they want.

That's your attitude to what other people do but what do you do?

Anyone who's observed my posts in any detail on this forum knows I have a dislike to phrases like "Adults should be able to do what they want." that sound really cool and liberal but actually make no sense in practical terms.  But I won't go off on a tangent and start arguing about that, I'm just genuinely curious of your lifestyle and how you feel about your own actions.

(Actually I just read what you said more carefully, I suppose you're saying consent is the most important thing and beyond that adults should be able to do what they want. I nearly wholeheartedly agree with that but I can't help but think there must be some exceptions to that rule.)

[Regina]

I said this before, but I'm not sure we're psychologically built to be monogamous. I'm a bit pessimistic with this, but I just can't imagine getting married at, let's say 30, and being genuinely happy with someone for 50 years until we eventually die. I just think surely at some point, you'd have to get bored of seeing that same person's face first thing in the morning and last thing at night, never truly getting any alone time from them because you literally share a room with them every day.

A monogamous relationship is a romantic thought though, so I'm not against it. I would love to find my perfect soul mate who we'd just dedicate ourselves to eachother and be monogamous, but speaking realistically I'm pessimistic it can actually happen without a lot of work.

I'm not saying I just plan to be rambunctious and cheat on anyone I'm with, making them uncomfortable. That's not fair and I don't like when people do it. I do think it's not a bad thing when a couple are in a so-called "open relationship" though, as long as everyone in the concoction is fully aware and comfortable with it.

[Chad32]

I personally don't really do anything. Because I'm a loner who doesn't really know how to socialize properly anymore. So yeah. Kind of a downer, but there you go.

[Losty]

I personally don't really do anything. Because I'm a loner who doesn't really know how to socialize properly anymore. So yeah. Kind of a downer, but there you go.

* Losty pats Chad's shoulder awkwardly

[Heatheness]

Monogamous.

When I was young I dated more than one guy at a time but all parties knew. That lasted about 2 months and no sex was involved. That was the only non-monogamous time in my life.

I have no interest in an open relationships or multiple partners. I want sex and companionship, not drama. I also believe in sexual honesty above all else but then I also believe in honesty in all things.

[paulpablo]

I said this before, but I'm not sure we're psychologically built to be monogamous. I'm a bit pessimistic with this, but I just can't imagine getting married at, let's say 30, and being genuinely happy with someone for 50 years until we eventually die. I just think surely at some point, you'd have to get bored of seeing that same person's face first thing in the morning and last thing at night, never truly getting any alone time from them because you literally share a room with them every day.

A monogamous relationship is a romantic thought though, so I'm not against it. I would love to find my perfect soul mate who we'd just dedicate ourselves to eachother and be monogamous, but speaking realistically I'm pessimistic it can actually happen without a lot of work.

I'm not saying I just plan to be rambunctious and cheat on anyone I'm with, making them uncomfortable. That's not fair and I don't like when people do it. I do think it's not a bad thing when a couple are in a so-called "open relationship" though, as long as everyone in the concoction is fully aware and comfortable with it.

I've heard it's less common for homosexual men to be monogamous.  I think the logic is that men are less likely to be monogamous, more likely to be sexually promiscuous and therefore in a relationship with two men the likelyhood of monogamy is decreased.

I can see so many benefits to being monogamous if you are homosexual though.  If you have a partner who's the same size as you then you instantly double your wardrobe.  No children will be involved usually so if you pool your resources and you both have full time jobs you will basically be rich as fuck in comparison to straight couples.