Religion and Spanking

[Bob Kelso]

So I was listening to a TTA podcast and while I think the forum went over this topic a few years ago I thought I'd rehash it. Spanking, right or wrong? You thoughts on spanking as a form of godly discipline? Were you spanked? Did it affect you in anyway? Thoughts in general…

I was spanked by my mother, with a wooden spoon to be precise. It didn't affect me in any way other than immediately changing my attitude and actions.

I was spanked by my grandmother, with a switch. This had an added effect of "Man I really fucked up" dread because she also made me pick it from the tree out back. If it was too flimsy she would pick it, and trust, one didn't want that at all. This too only served to change my behavior, it didn't leave any lasting impressions.

I was beaten by my step-father. Well into my teens where it became closed fists.

People often try to conflate a spanking with a beating, and the two are not the same in any way if you ask me.

I spank my kids, well not the baby of course.
But only when it's something severe enough to warrant it, and only if I'm calm.

[lisah]

So I was listening to a TTA podcast and while I think the forum went over this topic a few years ago I thought I'd rehash it. Spanking, right or wrong? You thoughts on spanking as a form of godly discipline? Were you spanked? Did it affect you in anyway? Thoughts in general…

I don't think spanking is very effective. At least it never was for me.

I never resented my father for spanking, but then I thought he could do no wrong. He was a school principal, and knew how to discipline. He had a large board (paddle) that he used. When we got into trouble, it was usually all of us. He would line us up outside the garage and call us in individually. First came the talk about what and why. The first person had it best, as they did not have to listen as they waited. I usually cried while being talked to and I don't really recall the spankings. I was just relieved when it was over.

My mother, on the other hand, spanked in the heat of the moment with whatever was available. I'll never forget the metal spatula she used, nor her dragging me into the house by my long hair to beat me with a ruler. (But, that might not be as bad as my husband had it. His mother forced the kids to kneel on rice as punishment.) I resented her for the beatings she gave. Beatings my father never knew about. As soon as I was old enough, I moved out on my own. And I had my hair cut extremely short.

As far as it being related to "godly discipline", I never thought it as such, until now. I exercised self-punishment as a bargaining tool with God when I did things that I knew were wrong. I thought that if I did it, I wouldn't have to suffer as much. They were milder forms of punishment, like going to bed without brushing my teeth and/or washing my feet. I hated that. And sometimes I would spank myself too. It may have also contributed toward my practice of beating my head with a ceramic hairbrush when my hair would not behave. (I hated having long curly hair!)

I chose not to practice that kind of discipline as a mother. Somehow, I managed to raise a pretty good kid.

[Edwardo Piet]

Every generation thinks the one after theirs is worse and it's always a load of crap. Kids act out in different ways now than when you were a child. They have access to different technology and are (IMO) a lot smarter and more independent than kids probably were when you were young.

This is so true.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I probably made this comment in the earlier thread. If so, it bears repeating:

Whenever someone tells me, 'I got spanked as a kid, and it didn't do ME any harm' my go-to response is always, 'Of course it did you harm - it taught you that it's OK to hit children.'

My parents had seven children, and none of us was EVER hit, not once, not for anything. That isn't to say my parents didn't discipline us, just that they were a helluva lot more creative than bum-swats.

Boru

[SteelCurtain]

It's telling that if you "spanked" an adult they could press charges for battery.

But we say it's our duty to batter our kids.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

It's telling that if you "spanked" an adult they could press charges for battery.

But we say it's our duty to batter our kids.

No child deserves to be battered. Lightly braised and served au jus is much better.

Boru

[Jackalope]

It's telling that if you "spanked" an adult they could press charges for battery.

But we say it's our duty to batter our kids.

No child deserves to be battered.  Lightly braised and served au jus is much better.

Boru

It's true, there really is no such thing as a tough child.

[vorlon13]

Never occurred to me before, I've never struck a kid, and I've had damn few opportunities to do so, had I been inclined.

I've made some comments over the years to a few adults regarding their apparent lack parenting skills, and if anything, since I've been reading John Rosemond's column, I'm probably more likely to do so now, but also, to be less snarky, and more willing to suggest Rosemond's books and newspaper column that might help things quite a bit.

[BrokenQuill92]

It's rare I've ever wanted to hit a kid. But can admit it was simply because the kid was being shitty. Of course I never have, but sometimes people raise the most awful human beings and they'll probably get their butts handed to them when they're older.

[Jackalope]

My parents only occasionally hit me that I can recall. Emotional neglect was more than their thing. The times they did resort to violence, at least I had their attention for a change.