Religion and Spanking

[Seraphina]

Spanking is so last century. I was spanked as a kid but my parents didn't name any religious reasons for spanking, they just did it when they lost their temper and were too lazy to come up with a different way of parenting.

I broke the cycle of that with my own kid. Many of my friends who were hit as kids have also broken the cycle with their own kids.

[bennyboy]

The truth is, I was really sure that some spanking was necessary. I've seen kids who are really "reasoned with" and in the short run, I didn't like those kids much or their behavior. But in the long run, it really seems to even out a lot; some spanked kids turn out to be punks, and so do some "reasoned with" kids, and many of the kids I thought were lost causes ended up being mature, respectful adults after all. In the end, most people will learn what behaviors aren't acceptable, and avoid those behaviors simply because that's in the nature of well-developed social animals.

I found the 5-to-0 terror response to be very useful. Because if my kid is running toward an unseen threat (a loose dog or a fast truck or whatever), I don't what to have to convince him that it's the wrong thing. For MY OWN SAKE, I wanted to have something so perfectly and absolutely effective that it could save a life. Otherwise, I felt I would have to keep the kids on a shorter leash, and I felt that a couple spankings early on was worth the sense that I could shut down danger, fast.

[Losty]

I think everyone draws their line somewhere....

I would spank my kid if someone held a gun to her and told me to spank her. So I can sort of understand the reasoning behind spanking a child to prevent them from doing things that put their life at risk. It's not my way but I understand the thought behind it. My kids haven't killed themselves via childhood stupidity yet. Not for lack of trying, I swear smallish humans are really dumb sometimes. Personally, I keep a really close eye on my kids and I don't lie to them about the dangers of life. I think those things together make a difference I think. We also do line writing (sentence repeating when they're too young to write). Kids hate being bored. After your son sits in a chair not allowed to play until he says "Electric fences are dangerous and I shouldn't go near them because I will have to go to the hospital and hospitals are expensive and mommy isn't made of money and if she spends it all on hospital bills I'll get less toys" 350 times...he's not likely to try to climb the wooden pole of the electric fence again. And the internal giggle you get to have at him saying it through gritted teeth while giving you a death stare also does wonders for relieving parental anger and frustration

[Godscreated]

I was spanked as a child by both parents and some times was given the choice of which one. I chose depending on what I did and the response it would bring from which parent. Mom used switches and dad used the belt, hands were never used. I deserved every one I got and would have gotten more if I had gotten caught. They did help this rowdy child and I have never feared my parents nor resented the punishment, because that is what it was a punishment for doing something I knew I shouldn't do. Spankings should never be used for anything but punishment and the parent should make it clear that spankings come with certain bad behaviors. Spankings want change behavior for the most part but they will make a child think before they act (I know I did and most times did it anyway) they help a child learn there are consequences for bad behavior and bad behavior brings a punishment. If you want to change a child's behavior you need to change a child's attitude toward bad behavior and that comes through setting and taking to them about how bad behavior effects them, you and others around them, you teach them if they want respect they have to give respect to those around them. They must learn having no respect for others is bad behavior and will come with punishment throughout their lives, respect for others generally leads to good behaviors.

GC

[ignoramus]

Religion and Spanking has quite a history!

Austrian artist Adam Johan Braun (1748-1827)

Moderator Notice

[Athene]

I was spanked as a child by both parents and some times was given the choice of which one. I chose depending on what I did and the response it would bring from which parent. Mom used switches and dad used the belt, hands were never used. I deserved every one I got and would have gotten more if I had gotten caught. 

Do you mean to say that as a child, you sometimes chose the switch over the belt? You're nuts! 
That sting is like fire.

A wicked aunt talked my mother into bringing a switch home after a visit down in the country. Much, much, much worse than a belt. Switches leave plenty of welts, and can easily break a child's skin in the hands of angry, or even mildly annoyed parent. After getting spanked by my mother (my father just used a belt) with the switch a few times, I decided it had to go; I broke the thing into a bunch of sticks and tossed the pieces out back. 

"Someone hid my switch! Where is it?"

"It wasn't me...I don't even know where to hide a switch!"

[Vincent]

I was spanked occasionally as a child. When I got into my teens, spanks turned to slaps in the face. Thankfully though, the stepmother who did it never ventured into belt/switches territory; she always used her hands. 

Call it my "liberal agenda", but I do not believe in spanking as a good form of discipline, and I strongly hold to the opinion that using objects to enforce/increase the child's pain is abuse that should be banned from society. I can look back to my childhood and say with confidence that spanking taught me nothing aside from how to fear and distrust the person who did it. It taught me that when words can't solve a problem, it is acceptable to turn to physical violence in order to do so. Additionally, spanking a kid does not teach a child why something wrong, only that it should not be done in the parent's presence or so that the parent will find out. The result of this, I think, is short-term obedience, not the long-term sort that is more beneficial for the kid. 

I've heard some pro-spanking parents tell me, "Well it's okay because I take the time to explain to the child why something is wrong and the consequences of their actions before I spank them, so that they already understand the wrong in their actions." Well okay, but then why is the spanking necessary? Why is it necessary to add fear into the mix? Pro-spankers tend to have this opinion of children that they are devious, cruel, dishonest little creatures who will lash out if spared the rod. I do not agree with this line of thought, and I find it harmful overall to civilized society.

[The Grand Nudger]

They're devious, cruel, dishonest little creatures who will lash out -even if you do- give em the proverbial rod, lol.  We're not born civilized.

[Godscreated]

I was spanked as a child by both parents and some times was given the choice of which one. I chose depending on what I did and the response it would bring from which parent. Mom used switches and dad used the belt, hands were never used. I deserved every one I got and would have gotten more if I had gotten caught. 

Do you mean to say that as a child, you sometimes chose the switch over the belt? You're nuts! 
That sting is like fire.

Like I also stated I chose on the bases of which one might be likely to bring the greater pain.

A wicked aunt talked my mother into bringing a switch home after a visit down in the country. Much, much, much worse than a belt. Switches leave plenty of welts, and can easily break a child's skin in the hands of angry, or even mildly annoyed parent. After getting spanked by my mother (my father just used a belt) with the switch a few times, I decided it had to go; I broke the thing into a bunch of sticks and tossed the pieces out back. 

"Someone hid my switch! Where is it?"

"It wasn't me...I don't even know where to hide a switch!"

 My Mom on occasion would make us get the switch and if it was to limber we would have to go back and get what we knew she wanted or she would get one. I always stripped it down so it had very few bumps on it. She would leave marks on occasion but never break the skin. Dad on the other hand would make sure we felt the belt. I knew that it was because they cared and like I said I always figured I came out to the good in the long run, I deserved more than I received. I believe Mom knew that getting the instrument we were going to be punished with was worse for us than the switching.

GC

[Vincent]

 My Mom on occasion would make us get the switch and if it was to limber we would have to go back and get what we knew she wanted or she would get one. I always stripped it down so it had very few bumps on it. She would leave marks on occasion but never break the skin. Dad on the other hand would make sure we felt the belt. I knew that it was because they cared and like I said I always figured I came out to the good in the long run, I deserved more than I received. I believe Mom knew that getting the instrument we were going to be punished with was worse for us than the switching.

GC

I understand your opinions on this matter are different from mine.... but I'm sorry that you had to go through that. 
And to hear you say that you deserved more, makes me a bit sick to my stomach.