The sociopath next door

[Alex K]

Found on Marty Rathbun's blog,

https://markrathbun.wordpress.com/2016/1...pity-play/

an excerpt from Martha Stout's book "The sociopath next door"

From chapter 6 – how to recognize the remorseless

After listening for almost twenty-five years to the stories my patients tell me about sociopaths who have invaded and injured their lives, when I am asked, “How can I tell whom not to trust?” the answer I give usually surprises people. The natural expectation is that I will describe some sinister-sounding detail of behavior or snippet of body language or threatening use of language that is the subtle give-away. Instead, I take people aback by assuring them that the tip-off is none of these things, for none of these things are reliably present. Rather, the best clue is, of all things, the pity play. The most reliable sign, the most universal behavior of unscrupulous people is not directed, as one might imagine, at our fearfulness. It is, perversely, an appeal to our sympathy.

The description goes on. Does that remind you of anyone? A pretty common scheme among the most insidious and hard to grasp forum troublemakers if you ask me.

[chimp3]

When we pity someone we are prone to offer excuses for their behavior.

[Catholic_Lady]

I suspected ep was a sociopath ever since he was really new here.

[vorlon13]

Read a ways into the blog and was horrified to recognize a woman I know. I consider her deeply troubled and flawed, but had not appended 'sociopath' to her case file till just now.

Considering the knots she has tied in her families relationships, and the financial havoc she has caused them too, I concur, sociopath is a fitting descriptive.


Quite a jolt there . . . . .

[Catholic_Lady]

Also I think a former boss I had was one as well. He was a horrible person.

[Chad32]

I can relate so much to this. I've been dicked over more by people taking advantage of my kindness than people threatening me. Not that I haven't been bullied, but it's extra frustrating when someone is asking for help, and I have to try to figure out if they genuinely need help, or are just trying to screw me over.

No wonder some people are so cynical about life. Best I can figure, don't give handouts to people you don't know, unless you're ok with not getting anything back from it.

[Joods]

Found on Marty Rathbun's blog,

https://markrathbun.wordpress.com/2016/1...pity-play/

an excerpt from Martha Stout's book "The sociopath next door"

From chapter 6 – how to recognize the remorseless

After listening for almost twenty-five years to the stories my patients tell me about sociopaths who have invaded and injured their lives, when I am asked, “How can I tell whom not to trust?” the answer I give usually surprises people. The natural expectation is that I will describe some sinister-sounding detail of behavior or snippet of body language or threatening use of language that is the subtle give-away. Instead, I take people aback by assuring them that the tip-off is none of these things, for none of these things are reliably present. Rather, the best clue is, of all things, the pity play. The most reliable sign, the most universal behavior of unscrupulous people is not directed, as one might imagine, at our fearfulness. It is, perversely, an appeal to our sympathy.

The description goes on. Does that remind you of anyone? A pretty common scheme among the most insidious and hard to grasp forum troublemakers of you ask me.

Yes this. A fucking thousand times this. Given my up close and personal experience with this type of person will go out of their way to find an empathetic person. They will latch on to them and literally feed off of their emotions by playing the victim card. Once they have the empathy sucked in, the sociopath then begins their cruel victimization on their newly acquired target.

Throw narcissism in the mix and you have the cruelest form of a person known.

[Jesster]

I can relate so much to this. I've been dicked over more by people taking advantage of my kindness than people threatening me. Not that I haven't been bullied, but it's extra frustrating when someone is asking for help, and I have to try to figure out if they genuinely need help, or are just trying to screw me over.

No wonder some people are so cynical about life. Best I can figure, don't give handouts to people you don't know, unless you're ok with not getting anything back from it.

I get this as well. This really gets on my nerves because I really want to be a nice person and help people out. I've definitely cut down a lot on lending a hand to people after so many have taken advantage of me. It makes me feel terrible to turn my back on people, but I have so little to give anymore after the others ruined it.

[Joods]

Read a ways into the blog and was horrified to recognize a woman I know. I consider her deeply troubled and flawed, but had not appended 'sociopath' to her case file till just now.

Considering the knots she has tied in her families relationships, and the financial havoc she has caused them too, I concur, sociopath is a fitting descriptive.


Quite a jolt there . . . . .

http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/ is a good website if you think you might be dealing with someone like this. I'm telling you - man or woman, they all read from the same script. It's that scary.

[brewer]

Well now I'm really fucked. Thanks a lot Alex.